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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to still read to my 11 year old every night?

89 replies

lu9months · 22/03/2021 07:30

I still like to read to my DD every night (sometimes while she is in the bath ) and put her to bed. my 18 year old back from uni was laughing and saying she is too old for this and I need to let her be independent. she gets herself up, does her lunch, walks to school and back by herself. but she is definitely young for her years. she's my youngest so I do think I baby her a little. id happily carry on reading to her forever! but I assume she will stop me when she is ready - her brothers did. AIBU?

OP posts:
Cheeeeislifenow · 22/03/2021 07:58

Of course it's not odd at all. I read to 11 year old ds. He says the books sound better when I read them but many books I have read he has read to himself again.
Even as an adult I would love to be read to. I don't really see why it would be reserved for small children?

lostPEkit · 22/03/2021 08:02

What matters is whether your DD likes it, so just be led by her. My mother laid a massive guilt-trip on me when I started wanting to read to myself quietly at bedtime rather than being read to. I’m nearly forty now and she still goes on from time to time about how devastated she was. (As an aside, I was getting a rubbish deal out of bedtime stories anyway because I have a slightly younger brother and I always had to compromise over choice of bedtime story and he didn’t, because he was spoiled rotten and was much more likely to throw a tantrum than me).

But as long as your DD genuinely enjoys it and isn’t just worried about hurting your feelings or not being your little girl anymore, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Being read to is lovely.

notacooldad · 22/03/2021 08:03

Reading to an 11 year old in the bath is very strange and weird.
I read to mine up to the ages of 8 and then they had half an hours reading time independently before lights out.
11 seems old to me if she is a typical kid.

NeedToKnow101 · 22/03/2021 08:04

I think it's lovely. I read to DS until aged 11. I would have carried on but stopped when he wanted to.

Tal45 · 22/03/2021 08:07

I still read to my 15 year old, my OH does too.

shadesofwinter · 22/03/2021 08:10

Agree with all the PPs saying to be led by DD. With the reading and the bath. People are different 🤷‍♀️

I read to DS until he was about 12, and he suggested we stop.

Mumdiva99 · 22/03/2021 08:13

Sounds great. I often sit in the bathroom while my 11 year old has a bath...and vice versa. Nothing wrong with that. I have made it clear when she wants to lock the door that is equally fine. (I've said the same to my older son too....as yet he's not bothered.....I don't sit with him....just pop in to pick something up etc)

golddustwomen · 22/03/2021 08:14

I think it's lovely. My mom read the first Harry Potter to me at around that age.

CatChant · 22/03/2021 08:15

I read to my 13-year-old DS most nights and my grown-up DD likes to listen too when she's here.

The venue's changed with time. These days I tend to read to him in the kitchen just before bedtime, rather than in his bedroom before he goes to sleep.

Original poster
lu9months · 22/03/2021 08:16

thanks all. i keep suggesting she has privacy in the bath ( her dad def wouldnt come in!) but she keeps asking me to come in so its a tricky one. we are open together about nudity.i dont want her getting the message there is something to be embarassed about. but ill suggest we read after bath time.

OP posts:
4amWitchingHour · 22/03/2021 08:23

@notacooldad

Reading to an 11 year old in the bath is very strange and weird. I read to mine up to the ages of 8 and then they had half an hours reading time independently before lights out. 11 seems old to me if she is a typical kid.
How do you know what the "typical kid" is? It sounds like you made the choice to stop reading to them at age 8, they might have wanted you to keep going. Judging by the other responses on this thread your kids were young for you to stop reading to them.
MaryShelley1818 · 22/03/2021 08:42

I think it's really lovely...I read to DS every night (he's only 3) but long may it continue. I've already started collecting early editions of classics for him.
DD is 7wks old and I've just started "reading" to her. I would love to still be doing it in 10yrs.
It's my favourite part of every day.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/03/2021 08:50

Dc1 is nearly 10 and it would shock me if she asked us to stop reading this year. She loves it. As soon as she asks/hints, we will stop. But I dont see that happening for at least another year.

AllisoninWunderland · 22/03/2021 08:51

It’s not strange at all!
We still read to our eldest of a similar age.
The DC read alone first then they get a chapter of a book with me or DH and they love that time.

Also I don’t think the bath thing is weird at all. Be led by your child (as you are) I say.

Norwaydidnthappen · 22/03/2021 08:53

I still read to my 11 year old every night, we’re currently reading Alex Rider.

AlexaShutUp · 22/03/2021 08:54

If she enjoys it and you enjoy it, then carry on for as long as you like.

nameisnotimportant · 22/03/2021 08:58

This is so lovely. I really hope when my daughter is 11 that she still wants me to read to her

JanFebAnyMonth · 22/03/2021 08:58

I wish more parents would do this (secondary school librarian here).

Nogoodusername · 22/03/2021 09:00

My 10 year old hasn’t wanted me to read outloud to her for a good 3 years, she prefers reading herself. But I sit in bed next to her while she does it and sometimes she’ll stop reading for a bit to have a chat

IdblowJonSnow · 22/03/2021 09:02

I think its lovely and if she doesn't mind you being there while you're in the bath then I think that's fine too.

Bluntness100 · 22/03/2021 09:07

Gosh, my 23 year old daughter reads to her dad, whose 55, 😂

Not in thr bath though. Clearly. I also think she’s due some privacy now but that’s up to the two of you to manage, If she asks I’d say I’m busy but we will do the reading at bed time or whatever.

Panicmode1 · 22/03/2021 09:07

DH reads to our 13 and 11 year old every night now (started during first lockdown because he was home in time) and it has been brilliant. I had stopped once they left primary school really, but they (all) love it.

IDrinkFromTheKegOfGlory · 22/03/2021 09:08

I still read to my dd who's 13 (and her 11 yr old brother). We're making our way through the Northern Lights trilogy and it's a lovely way to relax and cuddle at the end of the day (although we don't get chance to do it every night). They're both very competent readers and have been for years but they really enjoy this bit of family time.

And with regards to privacy in the bath, it's all individual. Again, my dd couldn't give a toss about her privacy. She's always walking around naked upstairs and doesn't give a toss if we or her brother are in the bathroom while she's showering.

Scarling · 22/03/2021 09:09

YANBU at all. I love reading to DS, especially now he's old enough for chapter books that I enjoy. We're reading the Ickabog at the moment and I think I like it more than him!

RETIREDandHAPPY · 22/03/2021 09:14

Not so sure about the bath, but it does stop your daughter dropping the book into the water as she reads..... as my daughter did!
As my daughter got older, telling stories replaced reading them but I am sure we were still reading to her at 11. I used to read to my youngest sister too as she wouldn't read books herself. I remember the last book I read to her was Seinbeck's Cannery Row.

Read nust above the level they can read for themselves, prepares them fot morw mature books. I think you are doing a great job.

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