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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to still read to my 11 year old every night?

89 replies

lu9months · 22/03/2021 07:30

I still like to read to my DD every night (sometimes while she is in the bath ) and put her to bed. my 18 year old back from uni was laughing and saying she is too old for this and I need to let her be independent. she gets herself up, does her lunch, walks to school and back by herself. but she is definitely young for her years. she's my youngest so I do think I baby her a little. id happily carry on reading to her forever! but I assume she will stop me when she is ready - her brothers did. AIBU?

OP posts:
FireBelliedToad · 22/03/2021 07:33

I do 🤷‍♀️ 11 yo is my eldest so no one to laugh at me.

RampantIvy · 22/03/2021 07:34

I still read to DD when she was 11.

wonderstuff · 22/03/2021 07:34

YANBU. I read to my ds in Y6 and will continue until he doesn't want me to.

ChazP · 22/03/2021 07:35

If she likes it and you enjoy it, carry on! I read the whole Harry Potter series to my daughter around that age and we both loved it.

Lochmorlich · 22/03/2021 07:35

Children whose parents read to them are proven to benefit academically.
Carry on as long as dc wants.

Neonlightning · 22/03/2021 07:35

My mum did up until high school (age 12); it's such a lovely memory, especially to reflect on since she passed away.

kereh · 22/03/2021 07:36

She needs privacy in the bath at 11 that's stranger than the reading tbh.

Pinchoftums · 22/03/2021 07:37

DSSs Mum read to him at 14 sometimes. I thought it was lovely.

MumofPsuedoAdult · 22/03/2021 07:37

Every child is different. I would be led by her.

UltimateBlends · 22/03/2021 07:37

Don't think there's anything wrong with reading to her, and yes - she will stop you when she's had enough, but reading to her in the bath???
Prehaps I'm wrong, but at 11, I would start giving her privacy in the bath? Sure snuggle up on the sofa/in her bed afterwards and read together- but I think the being together around bath time could stop? IMO it's strange at 11years old to have "mummy in the bathroom reading to me"?

Prehaps I'm wrong, I don't have an 11 year old DD, but I do have an 8 year old who I give quite alot of privacy to when washing, except to check that he's actually washed properly!

autumnboys · 22/03/2021 07:38

I still read to my 11yo every night & will do for as long as he wants me to. The time comes, eventually, no need to rush it long.

LemonRoses · 22/03/2021 07:39

My older ones came and listened to the stories their younger siblings were having sometimes. Reading is good.

RampantIvy · 22/03/2021 07:40

@Lochmorlich

Children whose parents read to them are proven to benefit academically. Carry on as long as dc wants.
That's good to know. DD did very well at GCSE, and even better at A level. She is currently studying a STEM subject at a well regarded university.
MojoJojo71 · 22/03/2021 07:41

She’ll let you know when it’s time to stop. Same with the privacy in the bath thing, follow her lead.

Lalliella · 22/03/2021 07:44

Every child is different. If she’s happy being read to the please carry on. It’s some lovely time together that will be over before you know it. If she’s ok with you being in the bathroom then I don’t see the problem. DD15 happily walks in on me in the bath and on the loo! (I don’t do it to her though)

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 22/03/2021 07:46

Its not the reading to her that's odd, its doing it in the bath. Even my 9 year old prefer privacy in the bath and washes his very long hair properly himself!

I still read to my 13 year old, together with my 9 year old. My now 16 year old used to listen until she was about 14. She now reads Jane Austen and the Bronties along with all sorts of more modern stuff written for adults.

The 9 year old reads compulsively, vast amounts, while the 13 year old reads to himself if he has to (he had to read 6 quite challenging books for school this year to complete tests on them for a grade, which he has done, but he rarely reads for pleasure).

MazekeenSmith · 22/03/2021 07:48

YANBU
I don't read to mine but we sit and play cards together before bed every night and he's 12. He's not ready to drop the 'bedtime' and he can have it as long as he wants it.

couchparsnip · 22/03/2021 07:48

DS15 reads to his girlfriend most nights. They are doing the Hunger Games series at the moment.
I read to him until he went to secondary and we both enjoyed it. I'm pleased to see he wants to share the experience.
If your DD wants to be read to then there's no need to stop!

Reading while she is in the bath might have to be phased out though. She needs some privacy at that age.

pointythings · 22/03/2021 07:49

I didn't read to mine in the bath, but we didn't stop until they were 14 and 12 and we'd run out of Terry Pratchett. Not only is it good for them, reading out loud is also good for your brain health - it stimulates a whole different set of areas from reading silently to yourself.

Sleepingdogs12 · 22/03/2021 07:50

Hi, it is all good of you are both happy but does she know she can ask you to stop? Same with bath time. I would just make more of an obvious thing to say it is ok if she has had enough now and would she like some privacy?

LAgeDeRaisin · 22/03/2021 07:50

If your daughter likes you to read to her in the bath I don't see a problem

But then I'm not fazed by nakedness.

The OP is likely looking at the book, not her bathing daughter.

EatTheCakeBarry · 22/03/2021 07:52

I have read books to my 15 year old son, firstly because I selfishly wanted to share the book with him as it is one of my favourites and secondly because he was weighed down with GCSE revision and so didn't really want to physically read anything but loved being read to.

We are planning to do it again this summer when he will be 18! Love of stories and sharing stories is something we did as a family when I was a teenager. My sister and I would read to each other so we could experience the book at the same time.

The bath thing, I would start to give her privacy now at 11.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 22/03/2021 07:53

Reading to your children, even when they’re old enough to read to themselves, is so important! She’s not too old for that.

I would agree with PPs that maybe she’s a bit old for the reading together in the bath. My DD1 is only 7 though and we still do bath time with her so maybe I’ll feel differently when she’s 11.

PandaFluff · 22/03/2021 07:54

Have you made it clear to her she can ask you to stop?

I'd encourage privacy while she is in the bath tbh.

mdh2020 · 22/03/2021 07:55

My children still cherish memories of family time together with me reading to them. If I tell you the last books I read to them were Lord of the Flies and To Kill a Mockingbird you will understand that they were growing up. We all like to listen to books on Audible, so why not read in person. What a wonderful thing to do.