To ask which of these things your DC do?

[Ifixfastjets]

If you have a dc aged 8 ish, which (if any) of the following do they do?
Any by choice?
Any encouraged by parents?
I was on the receiving end of a "throwaway " comment ..
I am curious as to how my dd compares

Get a glass of water
Make a glass of cordial/squash
Place baking potatoes in (cold) oven
Turn on oven
Take hot potatoes out of oven
Microwave some porridge
Wash a few dishes
Dry a few dishes
Put away a few dishes
Run themselves a bath
Wash themselves in bath
Wash their hair- short
Wash their hair-long
Dress themselves in weather appropriate clothes
Put dirty clothes in the wash
Put a load in the washer
Start the washer
Make their bed each morning
Change their bedding
Brush their hair and teeth
Tie their laces
Feed a pet
Make a sandwich
Make toast in a toaster
Make toast in a grill
Cross a minor road
Cross a major road
Go to a shop alone for one item eg bread with no road to cross
Help meal plan for a week
Help shop for a week
Buy ice cream from known ice cream van
Pack own sports kit/bag
Unpack sports kit for wash
Set alarm clock and get up for school
Mow a lawn
Fill a bird feeder
Put own folded clothes in their drawer
Fold own clothes
Hang uniforms for school

Wow... that wasnt supposed to be an essay
Nowhere have I said that my child does all or any of these.
There are some on the list which I expect.
And some that are "not allowed ".
Most are encouraged.

Most of those yes, not mow the lawn, though my 11 yo does. She doesnt really like using the toaster for some reason but could. Like most kids though, if mine can get away with someone doing things for them they will.

My 9 year old has been doing everything on the list for a lot longer than a year.

The exceptions are things we don't do at all - we don't have squash or cordial (we live abroad where it doesn't really exist) but my 9 year old happily makes cups of tea. Nobody in this house makes toast under the grill, and putting potatoes in a cold oven would be daft, but he can make pizza with a bought base for the whole family or fishfigers and home made wedges - he tends to do this once per week with his 13 year old brother, who does the taking it out of the oven part (all the children cook a family meal once per week, but the younger two do it together). Ice cream vans also don't exist where we live and we don't have school uniform.

Baked Potatoes... No. She can use an oven with supervision, eg baking cakes.
Major roads... No. She plays with her sister on our quiet street.
Pet... Don't have one.
Shopping... No. Barely been in a shop this past year.
Hanging clothes.. no she can't reach
Everything else...she has done, with supervision if necessary, but maybe not regularly.

We have a battery lawnmower - no cable - and a small lawn! The younger kids think its fun to use!

DS is 7, nearly 8.

He can get himself a drink of water or squash, get himself cereal and chop vegatables with my supervision (he enjoys this). He can use the microwave but doesn't use the oven. He could probably make toast but we don't really eat toast in our house so he hasn't done it before.

He can dress himself and choose his own clothes, he puts his dirty ones in the wash. He can brush his own teeth and hair, wash himself in the bath although he does need a hand with rinsing his hair. He doesn't use the washer or put the washing in.

He keeps his bedroom tidy, he makes his bed but doesn't change it, I do that.

Mow a lawn - absolutely not, although we have fake grass anyway so don't need do that in our garden.

He never goes out unsupervised so wouldn't go to the shops or cross roads alone, I will not allow him out alone until he's about 10/11. He could go out to the ice cream van if I can see him from the front door.

My nearly 7 year old can dress himself, make toast, put a load of washing in, wash up, hoover, make a sandwich, wash himself, do teeth and hair, fill bird feeder. He hasn't gone to a shop alone or crossed a road alone. My 8 year old with asd struggles with most of these things. My nearly three year old loves playing washing up, hoovering, dusting with baby wipes, helps me make his toast and shoves dirty clothes in the wash with me.

I think my kids at 8 could and would have done all of those things with the exceptions of laundry and mowing the lawn (lawn too big and undulating for a young child to manage). They can do them now though.

Get a glass of water - yes
Make a glass of cordial/squash - never had any in the house
Place baking potatoes in (cold) oven - yes, but why?
Turn on oven - bbq
Take hot potatoes out of oven - no
Microwave some porridge - no, microwave too high
Wash a few dishes - yes
Dry a few dishes - yes
Put away a few dishes -yes (unloads the dishwasher)
Run themselves a bath - yes
Wash themselves in bath - yes
Wash their hair- short
Wash their hair-long - yes
Dress themselves in weather appropriate clothes - mostly
Put dirty clothes in the wash - yes
Put a load in the washer - yes, if I ask
Start the washer - yes if it's a basic wash
Make their bed each morning - kind of
Change their bedding - yes, but not duvet cover + winter duvet
Brush their hair and teeth - yes
Tie their laces - yes
Feed a pet - yes ( but he's a snail)
Make a sandwich - yes
Make toast in a toaster - yes
Make toast in a grill - no, we don't use the grill
Cross a minor road - yes
Cross a major road - yes
Go to a shop alone for one item eg bread with no road to cross - no shop in village
Help meal plan for a week - I ask what people want to eat that week
Help shop for a week - not been to shops since COVID started
Buy ice cream from known ice cream van - don't have them
Pack own sports kit/bag - yes
Unpack sports kit for wash - yes
Set alarm clock and get up for school - no, doesn't have an alarm clock
Mow a lawn - no, don't have a lawn
Fill a bird feeder - no, not allowed them (flats)
Put own folded clothes in their drawer - yes
Fold own clothes - kind of
Hang uniforms for school - no uniform, but can hang clothes up

The major road crossing would be situation dependent for me. An unfamiliar road without a safe crossing point, then no. Road awareness comes in around ten years old.
A familiar road with pelican, then yes, probably.
How major is major?

Hair washing would depend on how long, how thick and bath or shower. I used to rinse my girls hair at eight but thick, waist length and curly.

My 10 year old would do all the personal care ones. She runs her own bath, washes her own hair, chooses her own clothes etc.. she puts her own clothes in the laundry basket and puts clean ones away. She does the supermarket with me, pops to the local shop for me, crosses minor roads (we live rural). She will walk up to her nans alone. She gets herself a cold drink and puts her own dirty dishes back in the kitchen. She’ll help me wash the car or do the weekly clean if I ask. We bake together and she can solo make a tray of fairy cakes.

Our sone rarely wore weather appropriate clothes. Shorts and no coat year round.

DS a year younger than yours.

Get a glass of water -yes
Make a glass of cordial/squash -yed
Place baking potatoes in (cold) oven -supervised (hot)
Turn on oven - yes
Take hot potatoes out of oven - supervised
Microwave some porridge - like yes. Never tried
Wash a few dishes - yes
Dry a few dishes - yes
Put away a few dishes - yes
Run themselves a bath - never tried. I still do it. Otherwise he would have freezing baths!

Wash themselves in bath -yes
Wash their hair- short - yes
Wash their hair-long - N/A
Dress themselves in weather appropriate clothes - With instructions
Put dirty clothes in the wash -yes
Put a load in the washer - never tried
Start the washer - never tried
Make their bed each morning - yes
Change their bedding - with some help
Brush their hair and teeth - after small tantrums
Tie their laces - no
Feed a pet - I don't let him incase of bites/accidents, I've let him with very careful supervision

Make a sandwich - yes
Make toast in a toaster - yes
Make toast in a grill - never tried
Cross a minor road - not without me
Cross a major road - no
Go to a shop alone for one item eg bread with no road to cross - yes, but shop is only about 10 doors away from the house.
Help meal plan for a week - no
Help shop for a week - yes
Buy ice cream from known ice cream van - no
Pack own sports kit/bag - no
Unpack sports kit for wash - never tried
Set alarm clock and get up for school - no!
Mow a lawn - helped by pushing it round, but not alone.
Fill a bird feeder - it's would be a disaster!
Put own folded clothes in their drawer - yes, but not without tantrum/complaint
Fold own clothes - yes
Hang uniforms for school - yes

When DD was 8 she would do maybe two thirds of the things on that list - wouldn't put things in or take things out of the oven as that scared her but she'd switch it on for me and could fry things. No doing dishes, just emptying dishwasher if nagged. For a brief period at that time she would put the wash on (now she claims not to know how). No to changing bedding (take off but not put on). Still a bit iffy on tying laces at 10 years old. Never crossed my mind to ask her to mow the lawn, think the lawnmower would have been far too heavy to push around for an 8 year old, I struggle with it. And definitely not getting herself up for school in the morning. I was doing so well at teaching her how to do things around the house until DS came along when she was 7 and it all went to pot.

She's great at going to the shop for me though when I've forgotten milk or eggs or something, its very useful!

I’m not sure you will get entirely honest replies on MN, OP.

My 9-year old can do some of those things but we would absolutely not allow others. She dresses, showers (long hair) independently, does her laces, gets herself sorted out. She will happily help me with tasks like baking and cooking for fun. I have to pretty much nag for some of the rest. I also think that some of the suggestions on that list are downright inappropriate for a 9 year old to do but maybe it’s all me. :)

FWIW I’ve never come across these kids who do all of these things independently. Cross a major road and go to the shop alone? I would flat out discourage such a young child to do this on their own.

To each their own clearly. :)

We don't have a bath but she could heat up the sauna and wash herself including hair at 8.

This does not seem to have been a throwaway comment 🤣

Dd nearly 8

Get a glass of water - yes
Make a glass of cordial/squash - yes
Place baking potatoes in (cold) oven - no
Turn on oven - no
Take hot potatoes out of oven - no
Microwave some porridge - no
Wash a few dishes - yes
Dry a few dishes - yes
Put away a few dishes - yes
Run themselves a bath - no
Wash themselves in bath - yes
Wash their hair- short - NA
Wash their hair-long - no
Dress themselves in weather appropriate clothes - yes
Put dirty clothes in the wash - yes
Put a load in the washer - no
Start the washer - no
Make their bed each morning - no
Change their bedding - can strip not remake
Brush their hair and teeth - teeth but not hair
Tie their laces - no
Feed a pet - doesnt have one
Make a sandwich - yes
Make toast in a toaster - no
Make toast in a grill - no
Cross a minor road - no
Cross a major road - no
Go to a shop alone for one item eg bread with no road to cross - no
Help meal plan for a week - no
Help shop for a week - yes
Buy ice cream from known ice cream van - no
Pack own sports kit/bag - yes
Unpack sports kit for wash - yes
Set alarm clock and get up for school - no
Mow a lawn - no
Fill a bird feeder - no
Put own folded clothes in their drawer - no
Fold own clothes - no
Hang uniforms for school - no

My 7 year old - run a bath , make a drink , put clothes away that's about it from that list

No to hot potatoes from oven, toast under grill, mowing lawn or crossing major road. Crossing a minor road is ok but I would need to be watching.

We don't have a bird feeder, and no ice cream van near, so those wouldn't happen.

Dc has shower (independently) rather than bath, so wouldn't be running a bath.

The corner shop involves crossing a small road - allowed to go with sibling, or if I watch from the end of the road.

Major/minor roads mean different things to different people... I live about 200m from a major A road. She's scared of the lorries going at 50mph down it so is unlikely to want to cross it! Its tricky enough in a car.
Busy road in town with a pelican crossing... She would probably manage that fine.

Vallmo47 in most of Europe children go to shops alone and walk to school alone from 6. At the parents information evening before each of my children started school we were told to prepare them to do both over the summer, and actually told not to walk or drive them after the first few days. The community police also do something similar to cycling proficiency courses but for crossing and walking alongside roads for children in their last year of kindergarten (rising 6) to prepare them to walk to school in groups of children without adult supervision. Obviously our infrastructure is better set up than the UK for children to be independent - where I live almost nobody drives or walks children over 7 to school and driving them is viewed as antisocial and a bit sloppy (not in anyone's interest). There are mini buses for children who live further away (they walk independently to the busstop) or who have mobility problems or SEN (picked up at their door) though.

My dc 7 does almost none of them! He can get a glass of water or milk, put a scotch pancake or something that sort of size in the toaster, get dressed but that’s around it.

I wouldn’t want an 8 yo crossing any kind of road!

My 12 yo is very independent and self sufficient having been similar at 7 so I don’t think I’m raising helpless children!

He can sort of run a bath, and would do a bird feeder if we had one.

Forgot to say, no to loading or switching on the washing machine.

My 2 DC are older than 8 but if it helps this would be what they could do/were allowed to do when they were 8

Get a glass of water
Make a glass of cordial/squash
Wash a few dishes
Dry a few dishes
Put away a few dishes
Wash themselves in bath
Dress themselves in weather appropriate clothes
Put dirty clothes in the wash
Make their bed each morning
Brush their hair and teeth
Tie their laces - although 1 really struggled due to dyspraxia
Feed a pet - only a cat, eating dried food
Make a sandwich
Make toast in a toaster
Cross a minor road
Help shop for a week - we didn't do online shopping then and so they had come to the supermarket weekly from birth
Pack own sports kit/bag, and suitcase if going on holiday
Unpack sports kit for wash
Put own folded clothes in their drawer

This is what they didn't do
Place baking potatoes in (cold) oven
Turn on oven
Take hot potatoes out of oven
Microwave some porridge

• were more like 10+ when they started with things that could burn

Run themselves a bath Wash their hair

• We had a persistent nit issue and very long hair so I always supervised. It was year 5 or 6 when this stopped being an issue.

Put a load in the washer Start the washer Change their bedding

• Washing was done as family washing so it was all placed in piles once a week and then I just did it. They could strip their bed but I would put the sheets back on

Make toast in a grill - I have never done this! Cross a major road - Not before year 6 and even then only at the crossing, but then they wouldn't be out on their own Help meal plan for a week - why Buy ice cream from known ice cream van - we just didn't do this Set alarm clock and get up for school - no alarm, although the getting up and being ready was not an issue Mow a lawn - No I wouldn't let an 8 year old use power tools! Even in my 70s no seat belt upbringing I didn't use the lawnmower until I was 11. Neither of my DC have ever cut a lawn, having said that neither have I in the past 25 years Fill a bird feeder - Don't have one Fold own clothes - only badly Hang uniforms for school - don't do Go to a shop alone for one item eg bread with no road to cross - we don't have a local shop, but at 8 neither was allowed to walk to their friends houses on the same middle clash new build housing estate on their own

Does this help with your article?