Horrid, cringey things people say

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

I nanny for a family that call dinner ‘sup sups’

It makes me feel ill. I’ve tried and tried to get the kids to stoppit and almost succeeded but due to lockdown, their mum is at home constantly and feeding them these twee little sayings as apparently it’ll be ‘a shame when they grow up and don’t say them anymore’

Sup sups is the absolute worst but we also have ‘beddiebyes’ and ‘pop pops’ (I can’t even write what that one means because Its nauseating but it’s a bodily function)

The children are 6, 9 and 11, not babies.

It sounds dramatic but the thought of hearing these stupid phrases again tomorrow for another weeks is spoiling my Sunday

Anyone got any to add to make me feel better?

Funny how @Zancah thinks you could just dismiss a nanny out of the door for having an opinion on the way the children talk, ie, not promoting the use of family names for things and asking them to use the proper term in my presence. Sorry, but fortunately nannies get to have the same employment rights as other people. I’d be taking her to a tribunal for unfair dismissal if I was fired over that.

I have no right to care what words the family use when I’m not around, but I will not be indulging it when I’m there!

@SpnBaby1967

Anyone who hashtags #MakingMemories deserves to be shot.

Yep. Also would add hubby to that list, and generally bickie, veggie, breckie short forms. I don’t know people who say hun but if I did I’d shoot them too.

I do say supper though, which I know from mn is on the hate list.

@KindnessCrusader

Supper 🤮🤮🤮

Ha!!

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Funny how *@Zancah* thinks you could just dismiss a nanny out of the door for having an opinion on the way the children talk, ie, not promoting the use of family names for things and asking them to use the proper term in my presence. Sorry, but fortunately nannies get to have the same employment rights as other people. I’d be taking her to a tribunal for unfair dismissal if I was fired over that.

I have no right to care what words the family use when I’m not around, but I will not be indulging it when I’m there!

Zancah doesn’t seem a very happy soul, perhaps her nanny was mean to her

Yikes 😳 Apart from anything else, if he wanted me to touch it, I would not be calling it ‘Mr’. If I’m touching it, I should at least get to know its first name.

Oh Jaysus, @StillCoughingandLaughing, now I'm imagining this bloke voicing his dick, and introducing it along the lines of "helllloo there, pleasure to meet you. The name's Pat. Pat the Penis". Thanks for the nightmares

Then he leaned close and said 'Oooh, he wants it. Can you feel him?' I must have looked puzzled, as he went on to clarify... 'Mr Penis, he wants you to touch him. Go on, touch Mr Penis,' in this creepy, soft voice that just turned my stomach.

Was he Cartman?!

Someone I have on FB regularly posts about 'making another deposit into the most important bank account in the world - the memory bank'. I can ignore 'making memories' but that is a step too far!

I'm a bit ashamed here, as I automatically assumed that he was referring to something quite different there at first....

@Fistycuffs

I am a huge fan of these things when I’m saying them! 😂 I have a lot of these sayings which I love to trot out. You’d all hate me! 😉

If not for your username alone!

@70isaLimitNotaTarget
Jilly Cooper books were full of ghastly fossils trying to entice the hero of the piece with the lure of "Kitchen Sups"

Jilly Cooper is so wonderfully upper-class that I'll never forget her saying, in an interview, that she'd rather her children said the word "fuck" then ever said the word "serviette".

I use really 'twee' words like "horrid" when I'm conversing with a student who I'm feeling particularly unenamoured with just to amuse my colleagues because they know that the more Olde English I get, the more I really mean that they're being an utter fucking twat.

I know a family who never laugh, at least according to their written word. Everything has them 'howling'. I imagine their poor neighbours must think they're living next to a pack of wolves.

Another family I know are unable to "complete" even the simplest of tasks. So far they've "smashed" everything from cancer to a cooked breakfast.

I think my mind went to exactly the same place as yours, @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

@RoastChickenLastsForDaysonMN

Okay, this one is definitely cringe, and I hope that very VERY few people have experienced it.

Way, way back, I had a few dates with a man I'd met at work. We got on really well, loads in common, etc etc. On our 5th date, I invited him back to mine for dinner. We were kissing on the sofa and he started moaning.

Then he leaned close and said 'Oooh, he wants it. Can you feel him?' I must have looked puzzled, as he went on to clarify... 'Mr Penis, he wants you to touch him. Go on, touch Mr Penis,' in this creepy, soft voice that just turned my stomach.

I can't remember what lie I made up to get him out of the house, but I managed to hustle him out on some pretence, and then told him I didn't think we were a good match. I think he's married now...

Ugh. Reminds me of one time I hooked up with a colleague and he was trying to talk dirty, which would have been fine except he was saying things like “he really loves it when she squeezes him like that” and he referred to my clit as my ‘love-pimple’

Honestly from hearing some of the terms others have been subjected to on here i’m starting to think I don’t have it as bad as I first thought

I love the word "horrid". I remember a book when I was doing A Level English that had the best title: "Horrid Laughter in Jacobean Tragedy".

PMSL at the attempts to cow OP by telling her she's just a servant, and her blithely and cheerfully ignoring them. Bravo.

"I'm going on the toilet" should be a hanging offence.

Jilly Cooper is so wonderfully upper-class that I'll never forget her saying, in an interview, that she'd rather her children said the word "fuck" then ever said the word "serviette"

Reminds me of the bit in 'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People where Toby Young gets turned away from the first class lounge at the airport and says "If it's so smart why isn't it called the first class sitting room?"

Live Laugh Love

Especially when on home decor!

SmidgenofaPigeon so you won't say poppop but you will say loo instead of toilet/poo whatever ffs you're as bad as them these are the families unique little ways they enjoy so keep your nose out and do your job Mary poppins

Bot bot instead of bottle. Pumping instead of farting.

Can’t stand “I for one”, so pompous.
“Frankly” said by any politician- I don’t think it means what you seem to think it means.

Well, OP.
It's a big thank you from me for starting this thread. It has been largely light hearted and it's made me laugh several times...

"Blanket Wankey"
Eggs as "chicken's periods
Going on the toilet...like a fairground ride.
Mr Penis...among others.

It's cheered up an otherwise rather dreary afternoon for me, and for that I thank you.

@Stoppissingonmyheather ‘loo’ is perfectly acceptable and what they’re taught to to say at their schools, actually, so no I don’t have a problem with that one. I’m not overly keen to hear what ablutions they intend to carry out while in there so they don’t need to say poo or wee. It’s quite polite to keep those things private when we get a bit older.

But yes, I shall cow down, and try to learn my place, I do apologise. Bad Mary Poppins!

I hate the word pussycat instead of just cat. My nan always asks me what my pussycats have been up to 🤮.

@SmidgenofaPigeon I think it’s one thing not to indulge it, but I think it’s a bit off to try and change it like you said you were trying to. Not having a go, just feel like you can ignore it and use the proper terms but trying to change their family vocabulary doesn’t feel right. Just because you don’t like it, they do, and that’s okay.

@SmidgenofaPigeon, know your place, lowly serf!! You are the help, after all.

Fuck sake, there are some gobshites on this thread. I'd take the Mary Poppins thing as a compliment, really. In fact if you are Mary Poppins, would you like to come and be my Nanny? I don't have children, I actually mean be my Nanny. I could do with a spoonful of sugar and some singing

I confined my tweeness to the cat, anything else and I can feel my mother’s withering green eyed stare boring into me.

Never refer to your mother as mummy in a healthcare setting. There will me a collective rolling of eyes when you’ve gone.

parents love saying they want a nanny just like Mary Poppins. They write it on job descriptions. I’m always itching to say that MP used magic and drugs to keep the children in line...

That sounded extremely creepy, reading it back

@SmidgenofaPigeon

parents love saying they want a nanny just like Mary Poppins. They write it on job descriptions. I’m always itching to say that MP used magic and drugs to keep the children in line...

I'd imagine some drugs and witchcraft would make your job much easier. I know when babysitting my nephew who used to refuse to sleep, I was often tempted to cast a spell or two