False accusation of sexual abuse

[PusheenLove]

I posted this thread in SN children forum but no response.

Terrible accusations of sexual abuse have been made by the local authority SEND officer regarding my Autistic daughter who has repeat UTIs due to sensory issues.

The SEND officer read our application for an EHCP, noticed the UTIs and phoned the school. The school said the case was referred to social services in 2018 and, after investigation, was closed with no concerns and no further action taken. The SEND officer STILL decided to make a referral to social services on Friday! I phoned the school and they said all there concerns were historical and they have no current concerns. They were sympathetic. Then I phoned the SEND officer to ask why she had re-referred an old case, was there any new evidence? The phone was continuously engaged or rung with no answer. Eventually, the receptionist answered and said SEND officer would phone me back. She never did.

The social worker then phoned me, and after a brief chat, said she was as baffled as I was. She closed the case. This has caused immense trauma to me and my family. I am worried this will keep happening every time someone reads a new form! I must point out that I'm diagnosed Autistic myself.

What action can I take that won't jeopardise my daughter's ECHP application? The SEND officer that made the accusations is residing on the ECHP panel!

AIBU to phone back SEND officer on Monday and ask what additional evidence there was? If there was none then AIBU to issue a complaint? This scenario has re-opened old traumas and damaged what was renewed mental health on my part. I'm weepy, shaky and am having nightmares. I am contacting GP on Monday. The relationship between my family and SEND services has completely deteriorated as a result of this.

@Cloudyrainsham

No advice re the send officer but just to reassure you that almost all new EHCP applications are turned down for assessment. The LA want to see which parents will push it. Don’t be put off and appeal the decision, they usually back down at the last minute.

It was accepted for assessment (is that what you mean?) Final decision is next week.

@PusheenLove - yes that’s brilliant that the first hurdle is over!

Next stage is once they’ve assessed whether they’ll issue. Like another poster said join some groups, there are lots on Facebook. The actual wording in the EHCP is really important so it’s good to know how that should be done. X

[quote Cloudyrainsham]@PusheenLove - yes that’s brilliant that the first hurdle is over!

Next stage is once they’ve assessed whether they’ll issue. Like another poster said join some groups, there are lots on Facebook. The actual wording in the EHCP is really important so it’s good to know how that should be done. X[/quote]
Thank you. I've joined several groups.

This thread has scared me. LA don't care about my child, just want to save money, want to stall, want to scare me so I don't appeal, etc, etc.

In your experience, is this true? It seems awfully bleak

@PusheenLove

I posted this thread in SN children forum but no response.

Terrible accusations of sexual abuse have been made by the local authority SEND officer regarding my Autistic daughter who has repeat UTIs due to sensory issues.

The SEND officer read our application for an EHCP, noticed the UTIs and phoned the school. The school said the case was referred to social services in 2018 and, after investigation, was closed with no concerns and no further action taken. The SEND officer STILL decided to make a referral to social services on Friday! I phoned the school and they said all there concerns were historical and they have no current concerns. They were sympathetic. Then I phoned the SEND officer to ask why she had re-referred an old case, was there any new evidence? The phone was continuously engaged or rung with no answer. Eventually, the receptionist answered and said SEND officer would phone me back. She never did.

The social worker then phoned me, and after a brief chat, said she was as baffled as I was. She closed the case. This has caused immense trauma to me and my family. I am worried this will keep happening every time someone reads a new form! I must point out that I'm diagnosed Autistic myself.

What action can I take that won't jeopardise my daughter's ECHP application? The SEND officer that made the accusations is residing on the ECHP panel!

AIBU to phone back SEND officer on Monday and ask what additional evidence there was? If there was none then AIBU to issue a complaint? This scenario has re-opened old traumas and damaged what was renewed mental health on my part. I'm weepy, shaky and am having nightmares. I am contacting GP on Monday. The relationship between my family and SEND services has completely deteriorated as a result of this.

You say this has reopened old traumas. I am a survivor of both sexual abuse among other kinds and also a survivor of the same experience your daughter has had regarding a false accusation. I had to go through a police examination as a 5 year old and it was very traumatic.

Are you getting any support at all for your past traumas?

@WhereHaveAllTheGoodTimesGone I'm in private therapy. I was making immense progress but this scenario has made me regress. All the old feelings of my voice not mattering, of being unimportant, of being belittled and undermined, of being pushed around, they're all coming back.

[quote PusheenLove]@WhereHaveAllTheGoodTimesGone I'm in private therapy. I was making immense progress but this scenario has made me regress. All the old feelings of my voice not mattering, of being unimportant, of being belittled and undermined, of being pushed around, they're all coming back.[/quote]
It's hard isn't it? Recovery is so often a two steps forward, three steps back.

OP - my experience of applying for a statement (as it was then) and the other stuff including school moves and changing over to an EHCP is that local authorities are completely adversarial in their approach and you will have to fight for everything and become a back room lawyer - be prepared for them never to stick to legal deadlines and to claim they are just guidance. This is not meant to scare you but to prepare you as forewarned is forearmed. If the school is your ally then that can really help.

@JJXM

OP - my experience of applying for a statement (as it was then) and the other stuff including school moves and changing over to an EHCP is that local authorities are completely adversarial in their approach and you will have to fight for everything and become a back room lawyer - be prepared for them never to stick to legal deadlines and to claim they are just guidance. This is not meant to scare you but to prepare you as forewarned is forearmed. If the school is your ally then that can really help.

Adversarial is a good word for it. Why are they like that?

The reason they are like that? It’s not an excuse or justification but it’s a lack of money - they are constantly trying to spend as little as possible. There’s simply not the funding to pay for the amount of children who need support. Special schools don’t have enough places to meet demand and are hugely oversubscribed - therefore some children who need a special school place won’t get one because they are being given to those with very severe needs. This means lots of children in mainstream with very high needs and so require 1-to-1 assistance which is very expensive. So the Local Authority will fight you on every point knowing that if enough parents just admit defeat then they’ve saved that money. They don’t care that the child with be hugely impacted by crap support and that early intervention in education is shown to be a key factor in success for SEN children. My DS was turned down for even an assessment of needs and we were told that he needed no more help than any other child his age and could be placed in mainstream with no additional help. He was very like other four year olds - in nappies, non-verbal, then with a diagnosis of a LD, no eye contact at all. They fought us at every point - refused assessment and then tried to delay until he was in school as they would have an accurate picture of his needs. Told us the SEN Code of Practice was not law but guidance. Refused to give us a special school place declaring that parental preference wasn’t a thing. Now we live in another local authority and they are just as bad and have stated in writing that they don’t have to meet legal deadlines as they are just an estimate.

Traumatise?! They were doing their job, have clearly seen no wrong doing and case closed. Wouldn’t be half as traumatising than if they glossed over a child that was having UTI’s from assault would it?

Update: just spoke to SENDIASS. They are now going to phone the SEND officer and ask for an explanation.

@JJXM thanks for explaining. That's what I suspected. But would they go as far as to maliciously contact social services?

@DinosaurPantz - Are you mistaken? SEND officer referred a historic case to social services (a case they investigated historically and closed). There was no new evidence. Daughter has not had any UTIs for over a year.

Whilst I agree that UTI may be a sign of sexual abuse this is a HUGE leap to ring social services. Some children get UTI's - not because they are sexually abuse, because they have a medical problem and all children who have a UTI should be referred to paeds. The SEND officer should have looked at the whole picture and discussed their concerns with you and other professionals involved. Communication seems to have been lacking and they need to learn from this experience so yes, I would try to speak to their senior or raise it as a concern without making a huge complaint .

The NHS procedure for UTIs in children seems to vary.
My DD (also autistic) went through a period of getting repeated UTIs.
My GP referred to a paediatrician at my request, but they bounced the referral back as not meeting their "criteria" (whatever that was) so she wasn't seen.

I would say that if repeated UTIs would appear to be a common enough problem that Paed Depts have to gatekeep referrals, and certain triggers have to be met to be seen, then it is not such a reliable indication of child abuse that everyone seems to think it is.

I also imagine the correct pathway would be medical involvement first to check for a medical cause (like your DD has) and if they have concerns then an onwards referral.

But would they go as far as to maliciously contact social services?

I've been part of the SN "community" for several years now and yes I have heard this happen. Particularly around unwarranted Fii concerns. The trigger is often when the parent makes an official complaint about a HCP or school/LA staff.

Utis are a possible indicator of csa, alongside a reasonably long list of other issues.
The only certain ones are stds the rest are possible indicators that warrant concern and consideration.

With a medical condition it would be reasonable to suppose that there were no medical reasons for the issue which has been noted.
Obviously this can be a grey area as not all medical issues such as utis have a clearly understood trigger.

@PusheenLove - I wouldn’t put anything past my LA but I doubt that this is a malicious referral as I can’t see how this would work in their favour. What I’d imagine is that they saw your DD had UTIs and made a referral without doing their research on your individual case. Not doing the ground work is quite common - my DS’ case worker at the council had never met him and parts of his EHCP had been cut and pasted without editing so that it’s six years out of date in places. They don’t tend to be very sharp on the finer details which could explain why you’ve been referred. But I’ll say it again - it isn’t personal and whilst social services involvement is very intrusive (I say that as care leaver) you really need to grit your teeth and jump through their hoops as it was distressing for you but solved with a quick phone call.

@MelvinEugenePunymeyer

The NHS procedure for UTIs in children seems to vary. My DD (also autistic) went through a period of getting repeated UTIs. My GP referred to a paediatrician at my request, but they bounced the referral back as not meeting their "criteria" (whatever that was) so she wasn't seen.

I would say that if repeated UTIs would appear to be a common enough problem that Paed Depts have to gatekeep referrals, and certain triggers have to be met to be seen, then it is not such a reliable indication of child abuse that everyone seems to think it is.

I also imagine the correct pathway would be medical involvement first to check for a medical cause (like your DD has) and if they have concerns then an onwards referral.

But would they go as far as to maliciously contact social services?

I've been part of the SN "community" for several years now and yes I have heard this happen. Particularly around unwarranted Fii concerns. The trigger is often when the parent makes an official complaint about a HCP or school/LA staff.

The 'trigger' here was applying for a EHCP.

I have yet to hear back from the SEND officer nor SENDIASS. I suspect SENDIASS couldn't get hold of the SEND officer. I never could, after this all blew up.

Excellent point about paediatrician! Why was my daughter never referred to one at the time? Yet she was referred to SS!

What is also annoying me is that the school SENCO was aware that my daughter was having problems wiping herself after using the loo. And so she did lots of work with her to teach her how to do it correctly.

it was distressing for you but solved with a quick phone call.

Extremely distressing. I have had panic attacks since. Also, given that the phonecall and accusation came completely out of the blue and I am Autistic myself, my nervous system has still not calmed down. It feels deeply wrong and very scary that they could do this.

Update: My daughter got her EHCP and the SEND officer apologised to me 3 x about the stress caused by her behaviour. All is well.

That’s great news - are you happy with the contact? And the apology?