False accusation of sexual abuse

[PusheenLove]

I posted this thread in SN children forum but no response.

Terrible accusations of sexual abuse have been made by the local authority SEND officer regarding my Autistic daughter who has repeat UTIs due to sensory issues.

The SEND officer read our application for an EHCP, noticed the UTIs and phoned the school. The school said the case was referred to social services in 2018 and, after investigation, was closed with no concerns and no further action taken. The SEND officer STILL decided to make a referral to social services on Friday! I phoned the school and they said all there concerns were historical and they have no current concerns. They were sympathetic. Then I phoned the SEND officer to ask why she had re-referred an old case, was there any new evidence? The phone was continuously engaged or rung with no answer. Eventually, the receptionist answered and said SEND officer would phone me back. She never did.

The social worker then phoned me, and after a brief chat, said she was as baffled as I was. She closed the case. This has caused immense trauma to me and my family. I am worried this will keep happening every time someone reads a new form! I must point out that I'm diagnosed Autistic myself.

What action can I take that won't jeopardise my daughter's ECHP application? The SEND officer that made the accusations is residing on the ECHP panel!

AIBU to phone back SEND officer on Monday and ask what additional evidence there was? If there was none then AIBU to issue a complaint? This scenario has re-opened old traumas and damaged what was renewed mental health on my part. I'm weepy, shaky and am having nightmares. I am contacting GP on Monday. The relationship between my family and SEND services has completely deteriorated as a result of this.

@Moondust001

Especially considering the link between Autism and repeat UTIs.

There is also a significant link between sexual abuse and repeated UTI's. And just because it was found that there was no evidence of sexual abuse previously does not mean that is the case now. She was doing her job. You refused her permission to make the referral, which is also a red flag as abusers often do! And just because you may not have been aware of abuse doesn't mean it hasn't happened. That is why they must check.

They must check?? After literally 1 minute conversation with me, the social worker closed the case. What check was this??

I’d prefer 9 families had a short investigation/referral that SS dealt with and closed, and the 10th family was caught, than in future the SEND officer doesn’t raise a concern despite Red flags and a child is being sexually abused!

Which is a lovely sentiment if a) social services were properly resourced and able to deal with 9 bogus claims b) it isn’t your family being repeatedly referred for no reason and c) the referrals are based on actual evidence which seems not to be the case here.

If SS weren’t dealing with so many referrals, they would have more time to investigate and support families who need help.

[quote purplejungle]@GeorgiaGirl52 whilst that may be true, families may decline consent for a variety of reasons. I am a social worker and would decline consent for my child to be referred to social care if there was no good reason.

Although professionals often want to cover their backs by making a referral, this can mean social care are overwhelmed with referrals and miss the children who really need their help.

State intervention in family's lives can be traumatic and prevent families from reaching out in future when they need it. [/quote]
It's really hard for schools though - when you know something is seriously wrong but the adults are refusing to engage, being evasive, outright lying or denying there are any issues at all, it's not arse covering but more of a case that we can't turn up at their door and see for ourselves that the kid is in a neglectful/abusive/violent situation. The referrals aren't done for fun, they're being made because there are genuine concerns and fears that they will be the ones that are missed. And then they get bounced back by SS? Because we're just arse covering and we're actually harming ones who 'really need help'?

My mother would decline consent for anything. But that would be because she was being violent, abusive and neglectful. She was good at lying and twisting things/threatening the children enough that they were too scared to say what she was doing.

The person who made the referral has never even met my daughter.

@PusheenLove the 'check' was that they had to check social services knew of it and whether they needed to investigate anything further.
The SEND officer can't make that decision based on their personal view or based on information from the school.

But nothing actually happened? Referral made - SS did not pursue - case closed - no one subjected anyone to intrusive questions - SEND officer may have not acted in the best way but they have to report concerns - what would you complain about?

@ghostyslovesheets

But nothing actually happened? Referral made - SS did not pursue - case closed - no one subjected anyone to intrusive questions - SEND officer may have not acted in the best way but they have to report concerns - what would you complain about?

Have you ever been accused of sexually abusing your child?

@PusheenLove

The person who made the referral has never even met my daughter.

They spotted something that warrants investigation. They weren't to know that it had been fully investigated and dealt with properly in the past. They're obliged to do that, not then pull your DC in for questioning about it or, frankly, take your word for it that it's all sorted and you don't know why they'd think it might need checking.

I've referred people who I've only seen files for. Because what I've seen has made me uneasy - I'd rather risk upsetting somebody and be wrong than not refer and be right so that a vulnerable person/child suffers continued abuse and thinks that nobody noticed, cared or just believed what they were told. And I'd rather risk referring something that has already been looked at once in case it wasn't looked at properly or there is further information somewhere (such as in other referrals that weren't enough in themselves to merit further action) that would enable a complete picture and any pattern to come to light.

From the point of view of having been the abused child/adult and from the point of view of having been the person making a referral, I truly believe it is better to risk being wrong and hated for taking that feeling of unease forward than it is to ignore that nagging feeling that something might not be right.

I can understand your upset. I have been in a somewhat similar position. DD had an accident, and I was accused of hurting her. I remember being called at work, and being told that my DD was in hospital. I thought a terrible accident had happened. No it was because of a bruise she had from an accident a few days prior.
It transpired she was in hospital being checked over and social services had already arranged temporary care. I will never forget the fear that I felt at that time, and over 10 years later, I still panic when DD has an accident (she's accident prone so they are numerous!)

It all worked out ok because the Dr who was dealing with the case actually found evidence that proved where her injuries came from, and the case was closed and I didn't see them for dust.

The thing is, whilst at the time I was annoyed they could think that, and it was stressful, and traumatic, not only for me but also DD I now accept that if it was a child who was genuinely facing that abuse, that very same situation could well have saved their life.

Its not a perfect situation, but it is a situation where another child's life could potentially be made a whole lot better. Its hard to remember that at the time.

I'd maybe write a letter myself to the SEND officer. I don't know about SEND so I don't know how useful it will be to have a decent relationship with them, but its a good time to explain the situation with DD and who you are as parents and a family, and that you need their support not their accusations.
Whilst recurrent UTIs are present with sexual abuse, as a professional working with SEND they would also know that they are regularly occurring with many who have autism.

Good luck OP.

I disagree with pp's. How is the send officer doing their job? What is the current risk? The Case was referred to SS in 2018 and then closed. There is no current reason to re-refer.

This is an abuse of power. I suspect the SEND is trying to prevent the EHCP being issued.

The trauma could have been totally avoided. What has been achieved here? None of it positive.

"They weren't to know that it had been fully investigated and dealt with properly in the past. "

I don't accept this. Their files and data should be up to date. Or else there would be innumerable re-referrals every day because they hadn't been told the previous case was closed. Ridiculous.

The SEND team don't have access to social services files and data. They had a mention in an EHCP application of recurring UTIs, they checked back with social services to ensure that the concerns this would raise had been dealt with.

The system is thus flawed then? If every person who reads the file doesn't know the history then they too would refer to SS. On Monday. Somebody else on Tuesday.

If you don't know that this has already been investigated and the case closed, years ago, you'd re-refer every time. Which is silly.

"they checked back with social services to ensure that the concerns this would raise had been dealt with."

But this isn't what happened. They didn't check back with SS whether this old case had been closed.

They re-refered. Opened a new case. Totally different thing.

If your concerned about this person being involved in the EHCP process for your child I would just contact the manager by phone or writing and ask to be assigned a new case worker.

If you want to be clear about what information they had that led to the concern you could request access to records to see what information was put on the referral to social care?

It does seem a bit spurious given it is old information that was previously referred and assessed. Unless there were other things that they were concerned about that they haven’t been clear about.

It was unreasonable for her not to return your calls. In these situations it’s best for everyone to be as open and honest as possible.

I agree. Put it in writing, by email rather than phone so you've got a paper trail.

start email off saying you've been phoning and haven't had a phone call back as promised.

you'd like to query the re-referral and state the trauma caused. Ask for details of what the current concern is.

and that you'd like her a reallocation of send staff.

Have you spoken to your GP about all of this? If she's supportive (she will know of the re-referral to SS ) she could write an email to send which will support your case and basically underhandedly question their professionalism!

In terms of your worries about the SEN officer and your EHCP application- they are clearly a cross every t and dot every i type. Thorough and sticks to procedures like glue. They’ve proved that.

That’s exactly what you need during an EHCP application.

So the SEND officer filled out a safeguarding report saying I accuse @PusheenLove of sexually abusing her child - or did they make the referral checking there was no history or that the recurring UTI's had been flagged up and/ or investigated?

Your posts aren't very clear - and while I have never been accused of sexual abuse I have of physical abuse and SS where involved - which I accepted and I worked with

People have a statutory duty to report concerns - it's not nice but it's better than ignoring it and a child being harmed.

Put your concerns in writing by all means.

@SmileEachDay

In terms of your worries about the SEN officer and your EHCP application- they are clearly a cross every t and dot every i type. Thorough and sticks to procedures like glue. They’ve proved that.

That’s exactly what you need during an EHCP application.

This is so naive, you obviously have no idea about how adversarial the current SEND system is.

I'm with @Oblomov21 That this is a deliberate tactic to put you in your place. So that if they reject the application, you will think twice about appealing.

How verbal is your DD? Can she advocate for herself? Could you know for certain that a peer at school hadn't abused her?

Not giving consent for referral will immediately raise suspicion, regardless of the reasons for refusing consent.
I wasn't under the impression that schools needed consent to refer to SS though, tbh, particularly not in cases of suspected harm.

Lots of people get runs of utis, and I know how painful they can be. I do hope your daughter is well

Professionals don't need consent to refer to social services but it is good practice to obtain it unless doing so would put the dc at risk.
Refusing consent is a red flag. Being scared or angry that your child is being referred is fairly normal but to actually refuse consent is unusual.

Also wanted to ask if anyone has accused you of sexual abuse or is that they have raised concerns that your dd may be being abused?
There is a significant difference between these things, dc can sadly be abused why a wide range of people they are in contact with.

Thank you Melvin. Most of the posters here are incredibly naieve about how dirty, sordid and corrupt the whole SN system is.

"No harm done. You're overreacting. "
"I'd rather 9 reports done, to save 10th child. "

Bullshit.
If it happens to you, you'd never recover.
Have your kids taken away, see how you like it.

@Oblomov21

"They weren't to know that it had been fully investigated and dealt with properly in the past. "

I don't accept this. Their files and data should be up to date. Or else there would be innumerable re-referrals every day because they hadn't been told the previous case was closed. Ridiculous.

Yes, I worry that every time someone reads my daughters file, I should expect a referral to social services and an accusation of sexual abuse. That's a lot of social workers time wasted. Surely this can't be right?

@Oblomov21

I agree. Put it in writing, by email rather than phone so you've got a paper trail.

start email off saying you've been phoning and haven't had a phone call back as promised.

you'd like to query the re-referral and state the trauma caused. Ask for details of what the current concern is.

and that you'd like her a reallocation of send staff.

Have you spoken to your GP about all of this? If she's supportive (she will know of the re-referral to SS ) she could write an email to send which will support your case and basically underhandedly question their professionalism!

I'm speaking to the GP on Monday. Do you think she would contact SEND if I ask?