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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed by this

64 replies

Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 00:34

I have away a lot of clothing to a woman that was saying she needed it on Facebook. This was three weeks ago. She’s now out a post on Facebook saying I have a bag of size x clothing that I no longer need no mention that they were actually given to her. Because she kept messaging me I actually gave her more clothing than I planned to as I felt sorry for her.

OP posts:
HaveeeeYouMetTed · 20/03/2021 00:37

Maybe she kept the bits she liked / needed / would use & is now paying forward the remaining clothes?
You gave it to her so rightly or wrongly, it's now hers do with what she pleases.

Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 00:37

Why would she mention they were given to her? 🤨
So she’s had a sort through now and is giving away or selling the stuff that she doesn’t want.
Or she was always a scammer giving you a sob story to get more from you with the intention of selling.
Either way - move on.
It’ll only increase your stress levels to dwell on it.
You got your aim - clothes you didn’t want, out of the house. Once that’s gone, they’re not your business any more.

Original poster
Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 00:40

I wouldn’t have given them to her if she didn’t actually need them which clearly she doesn’t

OP posts:
HaveeeeYouMetTed · 20/03/2021 00:41

Also why would she state they were given to her? That's not necessary & I doubt the next person actually cares.

Are you one of those people OP that does a good deed & airs it all over social media? Because it sounds like you wanted a personal mention on her post.

Original poster
Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 00:43

No I didn’t but if it was me I would say I was gifted these no I’m passing them on to someone else that needs. I wouldn’t personally tag the person but I would be polite.

OP posts:
Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 00:44

What if she did need them, had clothes from several people, and now has too many - and is getting rid of the ones she doesn’t need?
If she giving away or selling?
Do you know these are just the clothes that you gave away?

You didn’t want them anyway, so does it really matter what happens to them? Sure it’s not nice if you feel you’ve been had, but it’s only you that gets hurt by dwelling on it.

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 20/03/2021 00:45

Polite, yes but maybe she doesn't wasn't people knowing she's gifted clothes or wearing second hand for whatever reason.

I understand it's annoying but I'm guessing she's taken what she wanted & passing on the rest (presuming she's giving & not selling). Regardless, you've got rid of a pile of unwanted items - so at least they are out of your way. Someone somewhere along the line will benefit.

Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 00:45

“Passing them on” - so she’s also giving them away?

banned · 20/03/2021 00:46

Maybe they don't fit her? Or not her style? I would be pleased that she is passing them on instead of binning them.

banned · 20/03/2021 00:48

To be clear I would be pissed off if she was selling them, but giving away is not an issue to me.

Original poster
Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 00:49

She kept messages me and asking if I had found any more items to give her. I wouldn’t have given her as much as I did if she wasn’t actually in need

OP posts:
cantgetmyheadroundit · 20/03/2021 00:50

Is she selling them or giving them away?

Original poster
Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 00:52

Giving them
Away

OP posts:
Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 00:52

Why do you think she wasn’t in need?
Just because someone is in need doesn’t mean they’re not allowed the dignity of choosing the colours and styles that they like. You never know what fits well and looks good until you try it on.

You gave them away, so she’d have no reason to offer them back.
Crediting you on fb would just be weird.
She’s passing them on.

I’d have been irritated with the multiple messages - but the time to deal with that after one message too many - with a “no.”

Original poster
Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 00:54

She saw the clothing before she too it

OP posts:
Original poster
Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 00:54

Took it

OP posts:
Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 00:54

So she has just said a bag of clothes?
How do you even know that they are the ones you gave away, or exclusively from her?
Surely the easy answer here is to message and say, “you know what - I realised after they were gone that I missed some of those - I’ll have them back thanks!”
Except you didn’t actually want them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 00:55

@Fedup333336

She saw the clothing before she too it
Right, and you’ve never seen something on a shelf and bought it, or taken it to the changing room, and thought, “oh god no - that just doesn’t work on me?”
cantgetmyheadroundit · 20/03/2021 00:56

So she's passing on a good deed. Paying it forward and all that. What's the problem?

Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 00:56

If you’re so keen on people only getting what they need, why are you pleased that she’s not hoarding - and is paying it forward?

notangelinajolie · 20/03/2021 00:56

Post that you were the one that gave her the clothes and if she doesn't need them you would be very grateful if she could give you them back as you know a good home they could go to.

Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 00:56

@cantgetmyheadroundit paying it forward 🤣

Original poster
Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 00:59

No I gave her extra stuff that I wasn’t planning on giving as I felt sorry for her. I won’t make that mistake again

OP posts:
Gumandbass · 20/03/2021 00:59

Well there you go, now you've helped out at least 2 people.

Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 01:01

Right, but it still can’t have been stuff that you were that bothered about keeping 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why does her not keeping it all (regardless of whether she liked it on, or perhaps needed it, once other people had also responded to her request) offend you?