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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed by this

64 replies

Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 00:34

I have away a lot of clothing to a woman that was saying she needed it on Facebook. This was three weeks ago. She’s now out a post on Facebook saying I have a bag of size x clothing that I no longer need no mention that they were actually given to her. Because she kept messaging me I actually gave her more clothing than I planned to as I felt sorry for her.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 01:02

Because I wouldn’t have given it to her and regret doing so

OP posts:

banned · 20/03/2021 01:02

I get you are annoyed but it's not the end of the world is it. She is passing in items she doesn't want or need and they are saved from the bin. Don't really see the issue apart from a mild inconvenience of being asked for more previously. Could have said no.

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 20/03/2021 01:06

"won't make that mistake again"... You've potentially helped out one, two, three women.

She's not selling them for profit. She hasn't scammed you. She's passing on what she doesn't want rather than them sat at the bottom of a cupboard or in landfill.

You can't even be 100% certain these are your clothes. She may be getting rid of others given to her, her old clothes that no longer fit etc.

If you don't like it, stop helping people. Be pleased you've done a good deed in difficult times ffs.

Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 01:06

It you regret giving them to her, now is the perfect time to just ask for them back then. Why haven’t you?

MarleytheDog · 20/03/2021 01:07

If you regret giving away clothes and the lady you gave them to is offering them free on SM just ask for them back?

Original poster

Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 01:08

Someone has already asked for them otherwise I would

OP posts:

PenfoldPenny · 20/03/2021 01:09

You gave her stuff now she is giving it away. I dont see the problem.
If she was selling them then yes that would be cheeky but she isnt so no issue.
It was nice of you to give her a huge load of clothes but maybe they are just not her style. However desperate for clothes there are certain things I just wouldnt wear!

You did a nice thing, now she is doing a nice thing!

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 20/03/2021 01:10

OP "AIBU to be annoying about this? “

Everyone "Yes!“

OP "Well, I'm going to continue being annoyed"

Seriously OP. All you're doing is winding yourself up. There's absolutely no need to be so pissed off about helping potentially an extra 2/3 people 🤦‍♀️

cantgetmyheadroundit · 20/03/2021 01:11

Is it because you feel like she is taking your glory? You haven't been given the credit on social media for your generosity? Is that it?

Starrylight · 20/03/2021 01:12

My Dd is on a FB mum group who post thing's they no longer want. She's passed on baby/toddler clothes, nappies, unused bottles and whatnot. Once it's been collected she's just happy it's not gone in the bin/landfill. As far as I'm aware she then doesn't monitor what that person chooses to do with it? Even if they sold it on then fair enough? She doesn't want the hassle of posting something to haggle over a fiver when she doesn't want to. Some people do state 'I got X item on this site, but no longer need/want it'... But in the grand scheme of things I don't think it really matters? She could just have binned it all instead and you'd be no wiser about it 🙄

HeddaGarbled · 20/03/2021 01:13

This sounds very odd. What did she say when she claimed to “need” ‘clothing’ that persuaded you to give her such a lot? Did you imagine she had nothing to wear at all? I’ve seen people on Facebook ask for specific items but I’ve never seen a “please can I have a lot of clothes” request. That’s just weird.

Original poster

Fedup333336 · 20/03/2021 01:13

No o don’t want credit as I said it would be odd but giving them away like she’s the one that brought them I think is wrong

OP posts:

cantgetmyheadroundit · 20/03/2021 01:16

@Fedup333336

No o don’t want credit as I said it would be odd but giving them away like she’s the one that brought them I think is wrong

So it is that! You want tagging in the post for being the one that gave them to her.

Honestly, OP, find something else to be pissed off about.

steff13 · 20/03/2021 01:18

It's bought. And why is it wrong? No one cares who bought them.

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 20/03/2021 01:19

She didn't say "I'm giving away these clothes that I got from peacocks, M&S, primark" she just said she didnt need or want them... That doesn't given the indication she bought them & regardless if it does, who actually cares? You. Only you.

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 20/03/2021 01:21

What would you of rather she did, OP? Returned them to you?
To do what with - advertise them again for someone else to collect?? She's saved you the bother of doing that.

I cannot get my head around why you're pissed off that these clothes have ended up going to someone who wanted them albeit in a round about way.

Cocomarine · 20/03/2021 01:21

Well, good to know that the next bag of items I take to the charity shop need provenance labels 🤣

“this toy car came from Auntie Mo 2 years ago, but she’s a charity shop fan, so previous history is unknown”

Why on earth would she complicate a simple Facebook giveaway with saying she didn’t buy them herself? Totally irrelevant.

You wanted her to say, “I was given these by a really kind lady but...”

Well here you go: it was kind of you.

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 20/03/2021 01:24

Just done a quick search of your name. You wrote another bizzare post about the pharmacy having your number (obviously connected via the GP).

I'm bowing out. You're a very strange woman, OP.

Starrylight · 20/03/2021 01:26

Seriously unless it was a collection of designer handbag/shoes that you'd believed the proceeds of a sale would be then used by a charity? Then nobody really cares about your old clothes that you chose to give away. Although I do strongly feel you should notify the admin in charge of the site and demand they tag you as being the original owner of the 'mixed bag of unwanted clothes'. I also feel you should post a link on here... 😁

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 20/03/2021 01:33

I have an ethos that if anyone gives me something for free (my auntie for example gave me a lovely baby changing table) I then pass it on for free when I'm done with it if the giver doesn't want it back.

But I don't ever expect this of others. I'd only get disappointed. As shitty as it is that people do that, when have to accept that when you give something away you do so with no conditions attached to it

Residenthere · 20/03/2021 01:47

Ask for the clothes back

NormanStangerson · 20/03/2021 04:29

OP you’ve started quite a few random threads looking for issues.

MrsSmith2020 · 20/03/2021 04:49

@HaveeeeYouMetTed

Just done a quick search of your name. You wrote another bizzare post about the pharmacy having your number (obviously connected via the GP).

I'm bowing out. You're a very strange woman, OP.

There are 3 weird posts under this account now. I think OP is a troll.

custardbear · 20/03/2021 05:03

Just send a message back saying you will take anything back you gave her that she doesn't want

Gemma2019 · 20/03/2021 05:16

Message her and ask if you can have the clothes back now she has finished with them. Do it soon before she arranges for the other person to collect them.

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