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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden! Confused

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:
Lemonyfuckit · 19/03/2021 00:57

By all means check your deeds but it won't make any difference if she doesn't want to pay towards a new one she doesn't have to - a) you own the fence, in which case it's your sole responsibility to pay for a new one if you want it, or b) she owns the fence, in which you can't force her to get a new one anymore than you could force her to re-pave her driveway for instance, and if it's her fence of course you have no business replacing it....

Stop harassing her to to contribute to a fence she doesn't want.

DdraigGoch · 19/03/2021 00:59

@MsPavlichenko

That sounds about right re the posts. You can certainly check it out.
No, it's the reverse of the commonly-held belief. Usually the posts go on the side of the owner to make maintenance easier. Not guaranteed though, the deeds may record who is responsible but they don't always.
Ginuwine · 19/03/2021 01:10

There are so many people on here confidently saying "it's this way" when they're factually incorrect, that it makes me worried!

as other posters have said on here, the deeds are the best place to start but they may not be the end.

If they show who is responsible, then great you know who is to pay.

If they don't, then it's a good opportunity to come back on here and see what the precedents are where people have therefore shared costs.

MixedUpFiles · 19/03/2021 01:18

Even if it is her fence, she doesn’t have to pay half to replace it. She could just take it down entirely.

cabbageking · 19/03/2021 01:38

Often there is nothing in the deeds to say either way. Sometimes neighbours replace fences themselves regardless of who owned the original fence.

If she doesn't want to pay I suggest you chose the ugliest fence like barbed wire or a two foot version and show her your choice. This may motivate her towards a suitable choice.

BasiliskStare · 19/03/2021 01:49

I think it is sensible to check deeds and see what you are responsible for. However if someone is unable or unwilling to pay for a fence they aren't fussed about or cannot afford & you want one - there you go.

In our last house with a very modest paved garden one wall was buckling and getting to the point of dangerous . Responsibility for the wall was ( & I checked and confirmed ) joint with NDN However he had no money whereas we had a small child and were worried - so we paid. Technically we were not liable for the entire cost, just 50% . Nice man next door though said when we put some trellis up along the top he'd have the less attractive side.

Fences are cheaper than brick walls - I wonder now if I should have just said we will put up nice fence rather than building a wall . Too late now though. Moved house and moved on Grin

Sauvignonblanket · 19/03/2021 06:20

Check your deeds before speaking to your neighbour again.

Goingtogetflamed · 19/03/2021 06:30

OP she’s a grown woman not a girl.

Also you have no right to badger her and you don’t know what affect covid has had on her financial situation.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 19/03/2021 06:53

Gardenlaw.co.uk — I’ve always found this site helpful.

flippertygibbit · 19/03/2021 08:18

You want the fence, you pay for it. There is no law to have a physical barrier at the boundary.

MizMoonshine · 19/03/2021 08:29

If you really want her to pay half, remove the fence entirely. Share a garden. Live your best life.

Raindancer411 · 19/03/2021 08:34

I thought that's if it was your fence you gave the neighbours the nice side.. deeds are your friend but it I haven't heard of people sharing the cost before. We replaced a fence and paid for it ourselves.

crowsfeet57 · 19/03/2021 08:36

She's most likely right. Fences are usually installed with the 'nicer' side facing the property of the owner

No - traditionally the good side goes to the neighbour not the owner. That seems to be dying out now though, so you can't rely on it any more.

Best to check the deeds. Although if you have a neighbour like mine she prefers to believe some random idiot up the road instead of the deeds, which has led to a lot of screaming on my doorstep.

skirk64 · 19/03/2021 08:38

Unless it says otherwise in the property deeds, there is no obligation to have a fence to mark the boundary at all.

Generally the person who owns the fence is the one who has the posts on their property. The "nice" side (nice? It's a fucking fence!) goes on the other side, so the owner sees the posts still. (Think about it: if the posts are on the other side, the owner would be giving up a bit of their garden.)

Standrewsschool · 19/03/2021 08:40

No way if I’m paying £££ for a fence, then I’m not getting the nice side!

Tinydinosaur · 19/03/2021 08:44

Which way the fence is means nothing. Either it's in the deeds that it's one of the houses responsibilities or it's not. If it's not in the deeds then it's joint and whoever wants to do it should pay. None of ours are in the deeds because they're ex council, we're the end house so have two fences that border a road, obviously they're our responsibility as there's no one else. The other side we're just doing anyway because we want the fence redoing. Wouldn't dream of asking for half of us wanting to do up our garden

Cheeseandlobster · 19/03/2021 08:49

Please tell me you didnt go round one more time to try to "convince the girl". Its tantamount to harassment and bullying. Especially since you haven't even seen the deeds yet. It seems to be all "I want I want" with you. Leave the poor woman alone. Especially first thing in the morning when she may be getting ready for work or getting kids ready for school. She said no and you need to respect this. You have no idea if her financial circumstances have changed either. No means no Confused

cactuslover1992 · 19/03/2021 08:49

I offence but if you came knocking my door again asking for money after I said no once I would probably kick you off my property

Jericha · 19/03/2021 08:55

Also worth noting boundaries and fences aren't the same thing. We share all our boundaries with our neighbours due to the layout of the gardens. Doesn't mean we all share costs for the fences.

We're replacing some fencing soon which we share with more than one neighbour. We're paying for it as they're all happy with what's there currently or not that bothered, which is their right. What's more important to you, shared costs or good neighbourly relations? For us, paying less would be fab but I'm glad everyone we've spoken to have been friendly and accommodating which long term is more valuable.

VettiyaIruken · 19/03/2021 08:56

Your use of girl comes across badly. Silly little girl isn't doing as she's told. She's a grown up and she has made her decision. You have no right to harass her. Or infantalise her.

OldEvilOwl · 19/03/2021 09:01

She said no! Why the f are you going around again to try and convince her? You want it replaced - you pay!

Miraloma · 19/03/2021 09:01

'She has a responsibility as well as we do'

It's a fence, not a child

ClearMountain · 19/03/2021 09:02

She is correct in that it’s YOUR fence. But she needs to understand that because it’s YOURS she doesn’t have permission to paint it, or fasten anything to it, or grow any plants up it. She might change her tune when she realises she can’t touch it.

Personally I’d leave the existing fence in situ and put the new fence up against it. Let her keep the old fence if she loves it so much.

Knitterbabe · 19/03/2021 09:03

We share two long boundaries with one of our neighbours. They are arseholes. We are responsible for one stretch of fence each. Both quite long.
When we took on the property we put up a fence on the side we are responsible for . We chose a fence which looks the same on both sides.
They had some building work done which involved removing an old, tatty hedge on the boundary they are responsible for. The builder put up a fence along half of the length, with the ‘good’ side facing us. They left the rest open with no fence at all for over a year. This was uncomfortable as the houses are quite close despite having large gardens ( village with cluster of Victorian cottages), so they could see into our conservatory and they couldn’t use the their sunny patio as they would effectively be sitting by our back door and they don’t like us 😄
After over a year they put up the remaining fence, but the opposite way round, so the posts are on our side , but on their land, and there is now an ugly join where the two lengths of fence meet.

RevolvingPivot · 19/03/2021 09:05

We bought our house brand new in 2010. No sign on the deeds who owns what.

We were told we own left so when we had a fence put in they put the nicer side facing us. The other left fence shows the posts in our side.