Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden! Confused

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:
Shrivelled · 18/03/2021 22:35

I will go over tomorrow morning before work and give it once last shot trying to convince the girl.

Why is no one calling it. OP you’re being a massive CF here. Your neighbour has clearly said she doesn’t want to pay for a fence that she has absolutely no obligation to pay for (whoever the fence belongs to and whatever the state the fence is in). But rather than listed to 6 pages of everyone saying you can’t make her pay, you’re going to badger your neighbour for money again tomorrow before work. Jesus wept. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Shrivelled · 18/03/2021 22:35

*listen

WeatherwaxOn · 18/03/2021 22:36

Check the deeds first. We have a fence at the foot of our garden which belongs to the neighbour whose garden backs onto ours, but previous planting we had in place had damaged it, so we have paid to replace that.
Our neighbour on one side now wants a taller fence - there is currently a flimsy small one between our gardens. The fence is ours to maintain and apart from a small section of damage, there's nothing really wrong with it, but they want a taller fence for privacy. We have agreed to this, but they have said that they will contribute to the costs. Your £150 sounds very cheap in comparison to the quotes we've been getting!

If it IS your fence, then your neighbour has no obligation to pay toward it - ours are contributing as they are the ones that want a taller one.

Hellzbellz25 · 18/03/2021 22:36

She doesn't want a new fence either way, leave her alone!

SquirtleSquad · 18/03/2021 22:39

🖕🏻

Neighbour won't half in for fence
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 18/03/2021 22:39

Your neighbour has said no.

Leave her be.

user1481840227 · 18/03/2021 22:40

She's entitled to change her mind....and you said you asked her pre-covid and she said yes, her financial situation could be completely different now so you put her in an uncomfortable position by just "dropping the quote round" a year later!!

YouSingIt · 18/03/2021 22:40

@thunderandbangs

I'll get deeds, think hubby knows where they are but he's nightshirt tonight. I will go over tomorrow morning before work and give it once last shot trying to convince the girl.
Confused Either she is responsible for it, or you are. If she is, it's up to her whether it not it is replaced. If you are, and you want to replace it, you pay. If responsibility isn't cost, and you insist on replacing it but she doesn't want to, then you'll have to stump up surely. I'm not sure what you think you are going to convince her of.
2pinkginsplease · 18/03/2021 22:40

I think if you want a new fence then you pay for it.

We replaced the fence around our full garden. I wanted it all to match and would never have asked either neighnour to half in for it. I wanted a new fence therefore its up to me to pay for it.

RagzReturnsRebooted · 18/03/2021 22:47

We have two fences at the back of our garden. One facing us and one facing the neighbour. With a foot of dead space including some tree trunks and brambles.
There was some kind of fence boundary dispute between our landlord and the neighbour... It looks a bit odd as the rear one has a trellis type bit so it's higher but it's an interesting dimensional feature!

banjaxxed · 18/03/2021 22:48

If the posts are in her garden it's her fence. Often, convention is that the 'nice' side of the fence goes to the neighbour but there is no obligation to do this

The norm would be that the person whose fence it is has the post and then the panel is effectively attached to the post on the neighbours side

So if you have the posts, the fence is a few inches into the neighbours garden and that's your fence

GabsAlot · 18/03/2021 22:49

i didnt think it was illegal to not have a fence so you could just take it down and noone can do anything

if your deeds say its yours you can persuade the girl as you put it-even if it is hers aswell she doesnt have to pay

PurpleMustang · 18/03/2021 22:55

Wait to see the deeds. I cant believe you think its ok to go and ask for money when you don't know who's responsibility it is and think you can just harass her till she coughs up

GabsAlot · 18/03/2021 22:57

*cant

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 18/03/2021 22:58

Oopsie

Completely forgot to say yabu, you can’t make her pay

Nanny0gg · 18/03/2021 23:00

@thunderandbangs

I'll get deeds, think hubby knows where they are but he's nightshirt tonight. I will go over tomorrow morning before work and give it once last shot trying to convince the girl.
You can't 'convince' her anything

If it is her fence you can't do anything unless she agrees. Well you can put a new fence in front of that one, but you can't take it down or replace it if it's not yours.

If it's yours, she doesn't have to pay unless she wants to. And if you kept nagging me, I wouldn't. You don't know what her financial circumstances are and it's none of your business.

Nanny0gg · 18/03/2021 23:01

@2pinkginsplease

I think if you want a new fence then you pay for it.

We replaced the fence around our full garden. I wanted it all to match and would never have asked either neighnour to half in for it. I wanted a new fence therefore its up to me to pay for it.

Same here, except one neighbour kindly offered a contribution. All we asked was if they minded the fencers coming on their land whilst they did it and all agreed.
Chloemol · 18/03/2021 23:03

I understood that normally the ‘pretty side’ faces the neighbours and you as owner have the posts. However the only way to find out is look at your deeds

Midlifephoenix · 18/03/2021 23:04

No thas not how it works. Check your deeds: a little 't' on the boundaries indicates which one you are responsible for. But the convention is you put the post in your side and the neighbours get the nice side (like if you were building a fence to the front facing the street, the posts would be facing the house, not the street).
My deeds do not have clear indications who is responsible for which side, and my neighbours were unwilling or unable to help pay to replace the dangerous crumbling brick walls with a fence, so I paid. And as I was paying for it all (both sides) I decided that I would have the nice side facing me, but that is not usual.

VanGoghsDog · 18/03/2021 23:05

@Rollmopsrule

It's actually the other way round. The presumption is the owner of the fence has the posts on their side. Presumptions can be challenged but that's how it usually works as the maintenance would usually be on the post side.
This is correct.
Yubaba · 18/03/2021 23:08

You’re a CF, if you want it replaced then you need to pay.
We replaced our boundary fence a few years ago, it’s actually the neighbours fence but the landlord didn’t want to pay for the falling down chicken wire fence and I was sick of chasing the tenants dog out of our garden so we paid.
The one in the front garden is also theirs but I’m refusing to replace that one though.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 18/03/2021 23:09

You need to check the deeds but even if she owns the boundary there is no legal requirement for her to build / pay for a fence.

saraclara · 18/03/2021 23:10

@thunderandbangs

I'll get deeds, think hubby knows where they are but he's nightshirt tonight. I will go over tomorrow morning before work and give it once last shot trying to convince the girl.
You're harassing her. If it's her fence, she doesn't have to do anything, and you need her permission to take hers down and replace it with yours, if that's what you choose to do. Alternatively, you can put yours in front of hers and have a double fence. If it's your fence then you have no right to ask her for anything.
VanGoghsDog · 18/03/2021 23:12

That doesn't change who is legally responsible for the boundary on the land registry and house deeds.

Noone is legally responsible for a boundary. It's a notional line on a map/deed.

PhatPhanny · 18/03/2021 23:13

The neighbours are meant to have the good side, but check your deeds