Single mums who work full time

[Singlenmumprobs]

I’ve been offered a job, better than what I’m doing now more chance for progression(although not loads) and doing something I think I’d like and be good at. But it’s full time, 9-5 with a half hour minimum drive commute. More on bad traffic days. So potentially kids at school from 8-6.

My job now is walking distance, 9-3 and term time but I don’t enjoy it and it’s not going anywhere.

Aibu to turn down the job id love for my kids? I know in a few years (youngest is half way through primary) they wont need me as much in the holidays and I could build myself a better career between now and then. But they need me now. I have nobody to help out. They’d be in a (expensive) holiday club for most of their school holidays 8-6. They’d massively struggle with that, they’d hate it too. I’m sure they’d have fun some days but would definitely find it really hard. Youngest finds school really difficult as it is.

I know I have to turn it down. Hopefully I can work on my skills and try again in a few years.
How do others manage?

Yeah I work full time but only have the one, and I’m fortunate she’s fine in childcare. No family nearby and her dad doesn’t help at all. Well. Maybe one weekend every few months. Having read your posts it doesn’t sound like it would be a good fit for you just now - and I think that’s the main thing. I manage my job because it’s reasonably flexible and pays well and they are a supportive employer. Otherwise it would be a huge struggle.

It doesn’t sound like your heart is in the new job, so there is your answer.

I am full time working single mum in high a pressure job. I do most school drop offs, except when I am away on business (not atall at the moment but was one night and two days a week). I have a nanny who they love who does pickups and homework, activities, after school play dates, dinner etc. I take over at bedtime. Apart from Friday I do half days (flexi hours) so do school pick ups on Fridays. Our quality time is Friday afternoons, weekends and holidays.

School Holidays is a patchwork of holiday camps (about 3 weeks a year) stays with both sets of grandparents, holidays with me, holidays with their dad. We have down time in the holidays at home aswell just the three of us hanging out, I have 6 weeks annual leave entitlement per year.

I appreciate that earning relatively well to be able to have a nanny, a flexible job, and having family around and their dad around too puts me in a privileged position.

I'm a single mum to 1-year old twins, and work full-time in a senior role in a very pressurized job.
Luckily I can work from home, so give the children lunch almost every day. I work a lot with the US, so have to miss their dinner quite frequently.
I've no family support (siblings all have very pressurized jobs too, and my parents are in their 90s).
I make it work by having a childminder in my home, and working in the evening when they're asleep. It's very full-on though - no time for me, so constantly exhausted. I've no idea how it'll work when the children are in school, but will work it out. I need to work at this level, since mortgage and childcare are very expensive.

I'm sorry you can't take it OP, it sounds like a brilliant opportunity. But you got this offer, and if you can't hash out a working arrangement for this one, you will be able to get another. Squeeze every bit of confidence you can from this job offer, because you earned it.

Whatever anyone else's choices are, you working at all absolutely depends on your children staying mentally well enough to attend school. When that is under threat, your options do look very different. Best of luck.

@NeedaLittleNap Thank you