I hate #bekind.

[cockneysalad]

I really hate the #bekind sentiment that is now everywhere. I have noticed it on womens jumpers, slippers, bags etc. Funnily enough I haven't seen it on any mens items of clothing.
I see it as another way to tell people to put up with things they don't agree with, "oh be kind, you must be nice," I'm not sure that this gets anyone anywhere. I asked my daughter what she felt about #bekind she asked me in what context and said that she wasn't going to be unkind. I think that is my point by challenging, questioning and debating we are not being unkind but the #bekind thing just feels like a way of shutting people down from discussion and debate.

Real kindness is an unappreciated quality. It is important. Those little acts of kindness that make such a difference to us all when we experience them. (Being offered a seat when you're struggling; an an encouraging smile when you're flagging; help with the washing up or presentation prep or a difficult situation; taking the trouble to return a lost item to someone, etc etc).

All these are not seen enough in society but really do oil the wheels. They have nothing to do with the stupid meme #bekind that's everywhere and which does basically just mean shut up an abandon all common sense.

What it means it Shut Up If You Do Agree With Me Because I’m Speashul.

I agree, it’s always aimed at women, even though it’s men who could do with being kinder in general. I prefer #DontBeAnArsehole

@MzHz

Let’s not forget that the whole BeKind bollocks was spawned by someone who used violence against their partner.

☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽

All it tells me about anyone who uses it is that you're probably an asshole.

I saw a post on FB recently, some twat woman who had previously spouted 'bekind' was now telling another woman to watch her back and move soon when twat faces partner gets out of jail for beating the other woman up. Yes thats kind.

YANBU OP

#bekind that's everywhere and which does basically just mean shut up an abandon all common sense

^This

I prefer #doextensivereadingandmakeanefforttoformyourownopinion

and #thereisfreedomofspeech

Thank goodness for the search function, I was about to post a thread about this myself.

I'm so frustrated with people using the hashtag when what they really mean is "Stop being honest about my behaviour or I'll have a tantrum."

Why do I need to be kind to everyone if people behave badly? Why am I responsible for everyone's emotional well being?

I find those who use the term the most, are often the most unkindest and the most hypocritical.

I thought it originated from a Mum whose son committed suicide age 17 as a result of online bullying. I recall a campaign on This Morning involving schools/bullying. And I think it had a place there.

But how this evolved into jumpers with it on I don't know.

www.itv.com/thismorning/articles/launch-of-be-kind-campaign

I hate it - it’s turned into a slogan and I agree - telling people not to be unkind makes far more sense.

I also dislike all the #itsoknottobeok rubbish that pops up around mental health awareness week, usually with a sanctimonious Facebook status about how someone is always available to talk even if you haven’t spoken to them for a long time etc. Generally the people who do this are arseholes and gossips - I’d never go to them if I was feeling miserable!

If people weren’t so vile to each other and showed a bit more respect in their day to day lives (I mean little things like picking up after their dogs, not dropping litter, not driving inconsiderately) we wouldn’t need all this.

Hmm I don’t think the sentiments are terrible. I do think sometimes when people are being thoughtless or mean, they should be told to pack it in. Maybe “don’t be an arsehole” would be better though....

@loopyapp I totally agree.

#bekind was used way before CF. I don’t see it as shutting down girls. What an odd thing to infer.

How about “Treat People With Kindness”? (Harry Styles) Not a bad reminder.

I've had to work for a few people who have been using this hashtag. It's a virtue signalling PR stunt for two of the most spiteful people i've had the misfortune of meeting.

I hate it too. It started out with a positive message but it’s been taken way out of context now. It’s just stupid these days.

#Bekind always seems to be used by dickheads that won't want to be called out for being a dickhead.

I watched the Caroline Flack doc and her twin sister said she had been suicidal many times in the past when a relationship ended and her own mum said if she didn't hit her bf and a mixture of other things, it might not have happened, not once did she blame social media, yet it is used in the context that she killed herself because of SM, meaning all of these 'influencers' can use what she did and '#bekind' to hide behind.

I quite like it but because I know that before covid started I was pretty stressed and was sometimes less than kind to ds, and he was less than kind to me.

Having changed jobs, am now less stressed and we are both making n effort to remember to be kind to each other.

So it applies in our house at the moment. But to everyone, not just me!

I agree. Whenever I see a “whatever happened to “be kind”???” type of comment I always think, well I never made any such promise!

"Do no harm, but take no shit" would be a far better slogan.

#BeKind has overtones of compelled compliance, being a doormat and boundary incursion.

I have used it once... and that was on FB when several people piled onto me with vile comments and gifs, which ended up with me being on suicide watch. My "crime" was saying why I was exempt from wearing a mask (mental health related... I don't want to go into details).

I have always seen it as some anti-bullying thing, not a way to shut people down.

I agree. It's a mechanism to shut down anyone who has a dissenting view. Can't stand it. Patronising too.

Interesting perspective, it’s not one I had considered.

I thought it to mean don’t be a cunt.

Not every situation or person needs to hear your opinion. Sometimes nodding, smiling and getting on with your own life is the best way to be.

It definitely got misused, especially when there were sad acts on this forum last year bleating on about Dominic Cummings and how we should #bekind to him when he fucked off to Durham while everyone else was in lockdown. He gaslighted the entire nation with his carefully constructed excuse and all the #bekinders really played into that one. I prefer #beresponsible or #beaccountable. Own what you say, be prepared to stand by it. Like I would if challenged on any of this post.

@Hotcuppatea

Completely agree. They might as well put #BeQuiet on women's t-shirts.

Exactly this.