I hate #bekind.

[cockneysalad]

I really hate the #bekind sentiment that is now everywhere. I have noticed it on womens jumpers, slippers, bags etc. Funnily enough I haven't seen it on any mens items of clothing.
I see it as another way to tell people to put up with things they don't agree with, "oh be kind, you must be nice," I'm not sure that this gets anyone anywhere. I asked my daughter what she felt about #bekind she asked me in what context and said that she wasn't going to be unkind. I think that is my point by challenging, questioning and debating we are not being unkind but the #bekind thing just feels like a way of shutting people down from discussion and debate.

Oh completely agree. It's definitely primarily used to put women in their place, remind us that our prime objective as females is to be nice. Fuck that shit.

It's also encouraged a lot more meaningless word-wankery as well, what's that utter cringe-worthy book going around at the moment? The one with the awful scribble pictures next to some empty headed sayings - my son's primary is OBSESSED with is. I'm surprised it's not been handed out like we used to get Gideon Bibles......

Have any of you tried telling the violent TRAs who wield baseball bats, screaming “Die in a grease fire, terf” to #BeKind? How did it go?
Let me guess...

Be kind - said some of the most unkind people I've ever met.

#Don'tbeamassivegit works better ... Same general idea but more room for manoever.

I absolutely agree.

I was looking for cheap nursery jumpers for DD when the shops were open and the only one in her size in Primark had 'Be kind, always' emblazoned across the front.
Seriously? Always? Regardless of how you are being treated?
Funnily enough the hoodies.from the boys section had 'be awesome' on so it really is only females that we are expecting to #bekind.
It makes my blood boil.

@Authenticchicken

I agree. Our school kept saying it during the lockdown, which I took to mean "don't complain about the no teaching we are doing".

DS's school were saying the same and then shaming children who hadn't completed all the ridiculous home learning projects because their parents were working and couldn't help. They sent out weekly emails with all the best work the home learning children had done that week. Not sure I believe little Johnny in Year 3 built a Wooden house large enough for him to sit in complete with fake campfire!

It’s only the vile people I know who say it.

Completely agree, and the irony of it originating from someone violent - how kind was she?
Also agree about the scribble drawings, do you mean the ones that are usually a horse and a rabbit with something deep and meaningful about mental health in scrawl writing?? They make me want to shout OH FUCK OFF
but I don't. I #bekind instead.

Not sure I believe little Johnny in Year 3 built a Wooden house large enough for him to sit in complete with fake campfire!

Not the point of the thread at all but I always praise the children who clearly put in all the work with minimal adult help most. Everyone gets praise but examples shared wouldn’t be obvious adult effort.

Totally. I also note that those vocally preaching compassion and #bekind are often deeply unpleasant people themselves. They seem to use it to deflect criticism from themselves.

I hate how it all started.
Sad that a women killed herself but it was nothing to do with the public.
There was strong evidence that she seriously assaulted someone and I get she was embarrassed and ashamed. However her mother did an interview recently where she said Caroline was obsessed with suicide and taking her own life for a long time, to blame the public ad a whole for one person's wrong choices and then have it turned into some kind of cult movement is very wrong

@StealthPolarBear

Completely agree, and the irony of it originating from someone violent - how kind was she? Also agree about the scribble drawings, do you mean the ones that are usually a horse and a rabbit with something deep and meaningful about mental health in scrawl writing?? They make me want to shout OH FUCK OFF but I don't. I #bekind instead.

I have the book of those even though I find them incredibly twee. Some of them are good to show children to spark discussion though or at the beginning of a lesson that might be hard.

Totally agree. #bekind usually just translates as: keep schtum so that other people can be ghastly about others in peace.

IME most people who are saying "Be Kind" are leaving off the most important bit of their message to them and what they actually want to say -

"Be Kind to me, bollocks to anyone else"

The people I've seen saying/posting this shite are some of the meanest people around who hate being pulled up on their own shitty behaviour and respond to that with "Be Kind"

I have found my people. It’s complete virtual signalling wank. As are those ghastly horse drawings.

@StealthPolarBear

Completely agree, and the irony of it originating from someone violent - how kind was she? Also agree about the scribble drawings, do you mean the ones that are usually a horse and a rabbit with something deep and meaningful about mental health in scrawl writing?? They make me want to shout OH FUCK OFF but I don't. I #bekind instead.

That's the one. The book equivalent of bad Facebook memes, the ones on a sunset background with some useless word vomit painted over it.

They'd make me laugh if people grown adults weren't taking them so seriously. Like a new age philosophy for those with lack of thinking skills.

DS's school were saying the same and then shaming children who hadn't completed all the ridiculous home learning projects because their parents were working and couldn't help. They sent out weekly emails with all the best work the home learning children had done that week. Not sure I believe little Johnny in Year 3 built a Wooden house large enough for him to sit in complete with fake campfire!

I was lucky to get DS to do the daily death by worksheet let alone anything else. Evidencing the 'wonderful' things other parents were doing would have made my blood boil too!

They make me want to shout OH FUCK OFF but I don't. I #bekind instead

Ditto!

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

Not sure I believe little Johnny in Year 3 built a Wooden house large enough for him to sit in complete with fake campfire!

Not the point of the thread at all but I always praise the children who clearly put in all the work with minimal adult help most. Everyone gets praise but examples shared wouldn’t be obvious adult effort.

That's great @BeingATwatItsABingThing I think that makes such a difference to that child.

I never showed DS the newsletters because it was so obvious that the children had a lot of help and I didn't want him to think his work wasn't good enough by comparison. They had weekly team calls in small groups to show their teacher the work and I heard children say 'my mum/dad did it' in response to comments on their project work.

It is an extremely dangerous message. It came from a good place, but I can't stand it. I would prefer to see

#don'tbeawanker

which I think is the intended sentiment.

I challenged by DC's primary school on #bekind last year and the head immediately saw the problem and stopped referencing it.

Feel like you would all appreciate this Trend Tonic necklace as an alternative!

www.trendtonic.co.uk/product/dont-be-a-dick-necklace/

Just logged on to Facebook and the first thing I saw was about #BeKind and not ‘mum shame’ whilst talking about baby safety (coats in car seats and cot bumpers). It’s not mum shaming to tell someone about the risk of SIDS.

Pissed me off massively people publicly accuse someone of an affair they are innocent people say to the accusers you really should have thought about what you have said get a backlash saying your so mean what happened to #bekind FUCK OFF YOU ACCUSED AN INNOCENT PERSON YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM (scenario changed obviously but you see what I mean)

I hate it too. Behind it is the aggressive assumption that you need to be told how to behave. There are occasions when being kind or selfless is dangerous.

@2020nymph

I don’t blame you for not showing them to him. I didn’t show DD the video of the star of the week announcement when I watched the award go to the child who endlessly called out during the zoom, drew over the shared screen and tried to share his screen instead whilst they had a guest speaker in. My DD worked endlessly hard each week and was impeccably behaved in each zoom but got nothing.