To feel old at 31?

[Sunshine3013]

Honestly, I'm feeling really down.

I don't know what has come over me, I'm usually confident and have never worried about my age.
But suddenly I feel old. I am panicking that I need to TTC no3 as soon as possible (had my twins at 25) and I just feel like my ovaries as well as my beauty is a ticking time bomb on the road to expiring (to be honest I feel as if my youthful beauty has already expired).

I feel really emotional about all of this, my husband thinks I am being daft but I really can't fight this feeling...

@Lachimolala

It is disgustingly rude *@SomeRandomerOnBumsnet* as evidenced by numerous people telling you so and mumsnet removing your comments.

Get a grip yourself and stop using an anonymous forum as a way to be nasty to people you don’t even know, do you think you look big and clever right now? You’re behaving like a child, a nasty one at that. Embarrassing.

👏

@Sunshine3013

Being beautiful is largely to do with how u feel inside. It's not about how the world views you. I don't care if others view me as beautiful I feel like shit about this and that is what matters, how I feel. I only stated what I said about my looks because of the rude poster who said I must have never had looks to begin with if I've lost my looks at 31!!

Your post is v contradictory. You say "my youthful beauty has already expired" and then go onto say how unbelievably gorgeous you find yourself. Make your mind up

I'm 53... my age doesn't bother me.
I embrace the wrinkles and changes.
Age brings wisdom and happiness.

Don't fear it as you can't change it.
Enjoy your youth cause if you're bothered now you'll be buggered at my age!

I never once said I find myself unbelievably beautiful!!! I just said I'm not ugly in response to that poster stating I must be ugly if I feel my beauty has gone at 31 and that I must of never had good looks to start with. Simply stating whether your outwardly beautiful has nothing to do with feeling the way I am.

You have plenty of time to ttc. Lots of people haven’t had one child by 31, let alone twins. There is no reason to think you won’t be able to have more children if you want them. I wouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself over this. There comes to a point where you realise you can’t control everything and can only do one thing at a time.

OK, you’re not 21 any more.

But you’re not 41 yet.

I’m in my 50s. 31 feels like you’re just beginning.

You don't start losing your looks at 31! (thank god)

You start to look your age around 40, or later if you are lucky/careful/healthy.

Newborn and the tiredness that go with it make you look tired, but you've already gone through that.

I'd have say that 31 is quite young to even start to consider having babies, but if you want another one, nothing stops you from TTC.

I would feel sorry for anyone who hasn't been depressed with the lockdown: what little life do they normally have that they are not missing most of it nowadays?

Up your exercise, give yourself the best body you could ever have, and book an appointment with your hairdresser for when they reopen.

Ignore the haters on here. Some posters have an incredibly pathetic life and find joy in trying to bring others down.

The nice and well meaning "your looks don't matter because you had a BABY" should also be ignored. Being a mum has never meant your looks and fit body are gone.

The 30's are tough. I bet you'll feel better in your 40s.

You really need to pipe down, you're getting waaaaaay too wound up about what some stranger said on Mumsnet

Actually no, I’m not the problem here, you are. Maybe take your own advice ‘pipe down’ and stop trolling.

The average life expectancy of a woman in the UK is 81 years. I mean this kindly, but if you feel old at 31 you are going to feel old for the next 50 years.

Bringing up children is tiring, twins even more so, there is no argument about that, so why have a third or fourth? You don’t have to have three or four children.

I am twice as old as you are and don’t feel old, but that is because I am at a different stage of life from you. DD is away at university so I can do what I like when I like. Your life will get back on an even keel when the children are older and you will feel better – honestly.

And getting older is better than the alternative. Age is just a number.

Thanks for everyone that posted supportive replies. I really appreciate it.

Try hitting 40.That shit messes.with your mind AND body

Would you rather the alternative?

Well, it's not going to get any better, so I'd save the energy to panic for your 50s etc.

Look at a few famous women. Many looked A LOT better in their 30s than 20s - better style, better body, better haircut, better face. And it's not due to plastic surgery.

40s is the beginning of downhill... but if you are consistent with exercise and taking care of yourself, you can still look very good.

Look at Jane Seymour's body at 70! I dont' know about her face, but there's no work done on her body.

Most of your life is still ahead of you so yabu to feel ‘old’ or over the hill. That suggests you have a lot of your self-worth invested in how you look rather than other things like personality/friends/career/relationships.

Your fertility is beginning to drop and the risk of problems is shooting up so yanbu to feel it’s a good idea to get on with ttc if you still want more children. Unfashionable but also biological fact.

Your healthiest and most attractive looking years are indeed behind you and that sucks but that’s life. From age 30s you need to start paying more attention to food and exercise. You can still have a healthy/attractive glow that makes people look twice at you, well into old age, if you eat right, exercise, and smile. But you’re right to think you’ll never look ‘young’ again and that’s ok. You aren’t young.

I felt the same at 26, but was fine at other birthdays. Nothing wrong with periodically taking stock. Yes your beauty will fade but still time to find other things to value.

I love my 30's! Loved my 20's too but I was broke for most of them, my 30's are pretty similar but more money and more freedom. I'm 33 now and when I look at photos of myself at 23 I don't feel I looked any better or that much younger then!

I don't have children yet though, I view my 28 year old friends with kids as seeming older than my 33 year old friends without. 🤷‍♀️

That’s a good point @shivawn I was just musing yesterday that my 20s were so broke and now (31) I am loving having the money to be frivolous 😃 May the benefits of getting older continue to flood me!

I'm 31 and a relatively new mum so not sure whether my lack of self confidence is to do with my new mum bod or the fact that it feels like I'm getting old fast. I'm not sure why but it really does get me down like you OP

Hi Sunshine , i just came across your post because i was feeling the same ...although i will turn 46 this year ! it has certainly crept up in the last 2 years especially because of lockdown, homeschooling , not much exercise and I used to LOVE going to the gym,- (plus my husband and separated after 18 yrs sadly 2 years ago, so i find. Its a tricky one, you kind of loose yourself a bit in between i feel you..! have you heard of ketones and ketosis? it certainly gave me more energy and it really changed the way i feel and look , i've been doing it for just before Christmas last year and i definitely feel myself again, i've got a way to go but i certainly do feel and look much better . i call it mamma's little helper :))
francesca x

Some I said what I said.