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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DDs teacher and school shoes

66 replies

rabbitheadlights · 16/03/2021 09:14

I will start by saying I love DCs primary school and have a great relationship with them.

However this morning has been a total frikkin nightmare!!!

DD4 had the most monumental tantrum, because her teacher Mrs A said "you shouldn't be wearing those shoes they are too big for you!"

Now DD is actually between sizes 1 foot an 8 and the other just over so I had to buy the bigger size, but AIBU to think teacher should speak to me directly and not through DD?

This morning has been hellish all because Mrs A couldn't keep her beak out!

OP posts:

Exhausted4ever · 16/03/2021 09:16

How did it become hellish from a simply comment that her shoes are too big? I mean it must be an issue for the teacher to have said something surely? Like your daughter tripping over them or something. This seems a bit of a dramatic response unless there's some big back story coming?

Exhausted4ever · 16/03/2021 09:17

*simple not simply. Honestly mnhq really need to add an edit comment button!

en0la · 16/03/2021 09:19

If a throwaway comment about a pair of shoes makes your life hellish then the response from your dd must have been a huge reaction. What happened ?

AaronPurr · 16/03/2021 09:20

Like the PP i'm also wondering if your DD has been moaning about the shoes, or tripping in them. It seems like an odd comment for the teacher to make. How would she know they're too big unless they were causing your DD problems?

Hankunamatata · 16/03/2021 09:20

Are they causing an issue in school?

Motnight · 16/03/2021 09:21

My guess is that your dd is having issues with her shoes not fitting otherwise how would the teacher even notice this?

Theunamedcat · 16/03/2021 09:21

Children that age take everything as FACT especially from teachers my child had a breakdown because he heard a teacher saying he shouldn't have long hair and he didn't want to cut it off if he had eavesdroped a little more he would have heard his teacher defend him but it still made for a stressful morning!

Have a word with his teacher saying she has a half size difference in her feet and buy a heel grip for the small foot until it catches up my daughter had the same issue

Original poster

rabbitheadlights · 16/03/2021 09:21

Because DD refused to put them on, cue crying tantrums and misery while trying to get 4DC ready!

It's definately not an issue at all I have measured DDs feet again this morning to be sure!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 16/03/2021 09:22

I imagine the morning has been hellish because the DD doesn't want to wear the shoes that the teacher commented on. Mornings with children who are having a tantrum generally are hellish.

SoupDragon · 16/03/2021 09:23

Can you put an insole in the shoe for the smaller foot?

en0la · 16/03/2021 09:23

@rabbitheadlights

Because DD refused to put them on, cue crying tantrums and misery while trying to get 4DC ready!

It's definately not an issue at all I have measured DDs feet again this morning to be sure!

activitythree · 16/03/2021 09:24

@SoupDragon

Can you put an insole in the shoe for the smaller foot?

This. If the show is so bad it is obviously too big, hence the teacher noticing, perhaps an insole would be much more comfortable for your DD.

drivingmisspotty · 16/03/2021 09:24

Um, I can absolutely picture it.
Mum: ‘Time to put your shoes on DD’
DD: ‘Miss says I can’t wear these shoes they’re too big’
Mum: ‘Oh these are the best shoes for you, one of your feet is a bit bigger than the other. Let’s put them on now’
DD: ‘Noooooo. Agghhh. Miss says they are too big. Waaahhh I will be in trouble. I can’t wear these shoes they are HORRIBLE you are WRONG!!!’ Etc

Can see both sides to be honest. A quick word with you at pick up would have sufficed and saved the drama this morning! But I guess the teacher did just make a little comment, not thinking I guess how a kid might take her word as gospel.

dementedpixie · 16/03/2021 09:25

Try insoles to help the fit on the smaller foot

treeeeemendous · 16/03/2021 09:28

For the teacher to notice, I would assume they are too big.

I have seen kids wearing shoes that are obviously far too small and too big. I don't think think the teacher is unreasonable to mention it

Original poster

rabbitheadlights · 16/03/2021 09:28

It hadn't occured to me to put an insole in (crappy mother I am!) DD has not once complained about the shoes or any of her others (all the same size ) and walks completely fine in them. I don't think for a minute Mrs A was trying to cause an issue but they must realise that to a 4 yr old a teacher's word is gospel!

From what I understand the children were playing shoe shop yesterday and this is how it came about.

OP posts:

GoodMumBadMum · 16/03/2021 09:29

Put an extra sock on DD's smaller foot to help the shoe fit. It was probably a throw away comment from the teacher and I doubt she would've felt the need to speak to you about it.

DavidsSchitt · 16/03/2021 09:30

Did you have her measured at Clark's? Every single time they measure too big under the guise of "growing room"

All very well but I want shoes that fit! Not my kids feet flapping out of their shoes when they walk which you see a lot

smeerf · 16/03/2021 09:30

Yes perhaps the teacher was in the right to say something if she was concerned, but I think OP would have rather she'd said it to OP rather than the 4 year old. What's a 4 year old going to do to resolve the issue? Pop down to Clarks after class and buy a new pair?

Actually, what does she expect OP to do in lockdown?

Theunamedcat · 16/03/2021 09:31

My daughter had beautiful fitted shoes went to nursery and face planted herself everywhere because they were new and she just couldn't walk in them they took them off in the end and we had to practise walking in them at home she did this for every pair of new shoes even in high school tripping over them until she got used to them THEY FITTED PERFECTLY

NormanStangerson · 16/03/2021 09:32

I think our ideas of hellish are different.

Theunamedcat · 16/03/2021 09:33

@treeeeemendous

For the teacher to notice, I would assume they are too big.

I have seen kids wearing shoes that are obviously far too small and too big. I don't think think the teacher is unreasonable to mention it

Mention it to the parent not the four year old surely?

Seeline · 16/03/2021 09:33

I am amazed the teacher noticed anything. My DCs came home several times with their shoes on the wrong feet, odd shoes (one of theirs and one of someone else's) and shoes far too big or small (both someone else's). Nothing was ever said.

Either the child has said something, or they must be causing major problems. Or the teacher has said nothing - the child just doesn't like them for some reason.

Original poster

rabbitheadlights · 16/03/2021 09:34

@DavidsSchitt no I have a foot gauge? Sp? So I can measure myself at different times of day to be sure I'm getting the right size, apparently afternoon is the best time to measure feet.

OP posts:

Seeline · 16/03/2021 09:34

From what I understand the children were playing shoe shop yesterday and this is how it came about.

Was the teacher even referring to your own DCs shoes? Had they 'bought' someone else's which were obviously too big?

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