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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad that the world of work as we knew it has gone forever?

809 replies

Youngatheart00 · 15/03/2021 21:07

My work confirmed today we are moving to 100% remote working and will only get together a few times a year for team meetings. I find this so sad. I loved my working life - I know realise so much of that was down to the people. Now all I do all day is stare at screens and give myself a migraine.

They are justifying it by saying ‘most people’ want this despite me never seeing any such survey. It’s a blatant cost cutting exercise.

Anyone else fed up and lonely?

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 17/03/2021 16:59

You are comparing it to how it was when you were young 10, 20 or 30 years ago. This generation of new workers in their late teens-mid 20s are entirely used to communicating and making and maintaining friendships and relationships remotely.

I think any age group can suffer from too much digital over rl interaction.

University students enjoy being on campus in many cases for example.

You also get that socialising part after work when younger.

browneyes77 · 17/03/2021 17:01

Nothing much has changed for me really.

I’m in a field based role, so have been WFH for the last 7.5 years anyway, having team meetings every couple of months.

Only difference for me how is that there will be less in person team meetings going forward as some will be done remotely and I won’t get to visit as many of our sites as I did previously.

Other than that working remotely from home is the norm for me.

browneyes77 · 17/03/2021 17:05

@browneyes77

Nothing much has changed for me really.

I’m in a field based role, so have been WFH for the last 7.5 years anyway, having team meetings every couple of months.

Only difference for me how is that there will be less in person team meetings going forward as some will be done remotely and I won’t get to visit as many of our sites as I did previously.

Other than that working remotely from home is the norm for me.

Although I will also say that I am fucking sick of Teams calls GrinGrin

We had Skype/teams calls before but the volume of them now is just exhausting!

Original poster
Youngatheart00 · 17/03/2021 17:07

I hate zoom

I hate Teams even more

7 hours combined on them today.

Off to lie in a dark room

OP posts:
thecatandthevicar · 17/03/2021 17:18

Young, and less young, will benefit immensely when the lockdown is over, restrictions lifted and the advice will no longer be "Stay home", and instead of everything shut, borders shut, no holiday, no social life, no hobby

we can all start to have a life again.
THEN we can discuss WFH a bit better.

WhateverHappenedToMe · 17/03/2021 17:24

I'm really enjoying not having people crushing against me in an overcrowded commuter train. I'm really enjoying not having people decide that the printer (less than two metres from my desk) is the ideal place to have impromptu meetings. I'm really enjoying not hearing my colleague tell the same non-work related tale to four different people.

I'm enjoying having daily online catch ups with all my team, and not being excluded from conversations happening at just one site.

I really don't want to go back.

theleafandnotthetree · 17/03/2021 17:49

@LittleLionMan23

All of the (well-meaning) comments about how badly this will affect young people, how young people need the socialisation of the office, are not indicative of how society is now.

You are comparing it to how it was when you were young 10, 20 or 30 years ago. This generation of new workers in their late teens-mid 20s are entirely used to communicating and making and maintaining friendships and relationships remotely. Social media is the norm for them, and what they have grown up with. Video calls, voice notes, chatting and debating with people in the comments sections on social media is what they have grown up with and a normal part of life. Just think even 10-15 years ago, internet dating or meeting friends online was still seen as a bit odd, or only for "weirdos", now it's a part of everyone's lives.

Young people really aren't as phased by remote working and communicating as a lot of the commenters on here think they are. It's so completely normal for them.

I agree with others that you are completely overstating this and underestimating the desire and need for real and meaningful interaction amomgst most humans most of the time. We are a social species. I think broader trends towards more individualised, tech-driven, atomised societies are something that at the very least we shouldn't be pushing people towards. It is generally bad for peoples mental and even physical health (as multiple studies have shown) but also bad for our socities in terms of our sense of connection to and capacity to understand and give a crap about one another.
Loggerino · 17/03/2021 17:53

I love working from home and hate the idea of going back to the office. Its much more time and resource efficient not having people commuting.

However yanbu to personally disagree with that, i get not everyone sees it my way

Dowser · 17/03/2021 18:02

@Youngatheart00

It’s not hyperbole or drama....it’s genuinely my life. I can’t have children. My career was my identity.
I think you’re quite right to feel as you do. I can’t believe some of the snotty comments. One man’s meat and all that. Most of us need real people to interact with and I find staring at screens just awful
RampantIvy · 17/03/2021 18:22

Crikey, there are some really joyless jobsworths on this thread who have very little idea about social interaction or social awareness.

By all means state your preference to WFH or in an office, but please don't sneer at other people's preferences.

Even our HOD encourages team banter in meetings and on Teams chat groups, as long as we don't take the piss. She even instigates some herself. This is why we have such a strong team and support each other.

When we were office based there was some office banter, but the work got done. There is still some team banter, and the work still gets done. We won't ever be office based again because we have done such a good job by working remotely, but we all want to meet up again when restrictions are relaxed because we actually like each other.

We must be saddos according to some posters on this thread.

Fudgemonkeys · 17/03/2021 18:36

I have just requested to wfh on a permanent basis as I love being at home - I'm lucky though hubby is around and I have 4 dogs to keep me company. I do understand how you feel as many of my colleagues feel the same.

TheOldRazzleDazzle · 17/03/2021 18:41

It’s interesting that wfh is seen as inherently antisocial v the social world of the office.

A large part of my dislike of the office comes from the fact that the people I encounter there are not actually the people I necessarily need to work with. My office is made up of lots of individual people doing individual jobs and having teams meetings with others working in a similar way in a different location - annoying others around them who are trying to either work quietly or have their own calls. I prefer wfh as I can talk openly to colleagues on calls without feeling like everyone is listening in or that I’m irritating them!

My company also cut down on travel budgets, so I rarely saw people who were in my team but in a different office, while being expected to come into a subdued workplace every day.

My personal dream is of an office hub that genuinely facilitates people getting together when it adds value without the awful presenteeism of the pre-mass wfh period.

Words · 17/03/2021 18:41

I love working from home. It's been utterly life changing and I now realise how much low level stress I was managing in all the decades of hideous open plan office working.

I've never felt healthier, fitter or more resilient, and my confidence is through the roof.

Horses, courses and all that.

Crickey734637 · 17/03/2021 18:46

Rampant Ivy I think you are referring to someone else? I have mentioned nothing about preferences. Different circumstances suit different people - not one size fits all. And I totally get the need for interaction, I used to work with a lovely team of people, it is good to hear you have experienced that too.

TheOldRazzleDazzle · 17/03/2021 18:47

@Words

I love working from home. It's been utterly life changing and I now realise how much low level stress I was managing in all the decades of hideous open plan office working.

I've never felt healthier, fitter or more resilient, and my confidence is through the roof.

Horses, courses and all that.

Me too. As I posted upthread, I was made to feel bad when I asked to wfh pre-COVID due to stress at being in the office and it has been heartening to at least realise I’m not a weirdo.
TheOldRazzleDazzle · 17/03/2021 18:49

(Realising I’m not a weirdo both by hearing of others citing stress and by finding I have not developed major depression as HR warned!)

Original poster
Youngatheart00 · 17/03/2021 18:56

I actually wonder whether I need to speak to the GP about anti depressants as I’ve felt worse and worse all year but I just can’t face gaining even more weight.

I think part of it is the exhaustion of pretending I’m ok, when I’m really not.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 17/03/2021 18:56

@Crickey734637

Rampant Ivy I think you are referring to someone else? I have mentioned nothing about preferences. Different circumstances suit different people - not one size fits all. And I totally get the need for interaction, I used to work with a lovely team of people, it is good to hear you have experienced that too.
I think you misunderstood my post. I said crikey (because I am ancient Grin) not Cricky. It was a term of surprise at some of the comments on here.
Crickey734637 · 17/03/2021 18:58

Rampant Sorry...I did misunderstand...time to change my username I think!

Crickey734637 · 17/03/2021 18:59

I chose Crikey because I'm ancient too.

RampantIvy · 17/03/2021 19:04

Grin @Crickey734637

Wherediditgo · 17/03/2021 19:31

@Ellpellwood

I am currently working very hard to ensure the proposal for MY business goes through and no bright spark decide that some time in the office would be good after all

I sincerely hope your business takes into account the needs of all its employees and doesn't steamroller right over their concerns like you seem to be.

Absolutely this!!
theleafandnotthetree · 17/03/2021 19:33

@Fudgemonkeys

I have just requested to wfh on a permanent basis as I love being at home - I'm lucky though hubby is around and I have 4 dogs to keep me company. I do understand how you feel as many of my colleagues feel the same.
Your 'lucky though cause hubby is around' might be the very reason others are dying to get back to the office! I am seperated and I thank God I am, the last year would have been unbearable. Howver even in the happiest relationship, surely the more fun and stimulating thing to do and one likely to keep the spark going is to spend chunks of time apart, look forward to exchanging news at the end of the day, seeing your other half go out into the world, etc. But this also just proves how we're all different!
Wherediditgo · 17/03/2021 19:40

@Youngatheart00

I actually wonder whether I need to speak to the GP about anti depressants as I’ve felt worse and worse all year but I just can’t face gaining even more weight.

I think part of it is the exhaustion of pretending I’m ok, when I’m really not.

I feel the same way OP. Not sure how much longer I can carry on like this.
Original poster
Youngatheart00 · 17/03/2021 19:42

@Wherediditgo Cake Brew sending solidarity and strength!!

OP posts: