To feel sad that the world of work as we knew it has gone forever?

[Youngatheart00]

My work confirmed today we are moving to 100% remote working and will only get together a few times a year for team meetings. I find this so sad. I loved my working life - I know realise so much of that was down to the people. Now all I do all day is stare at screens and give myself a migraine.

They are justifying it by saying ‘most people’ want this despite me never seeing any such survey. It’s a blatant cost cutting exercise.

Anyone else fed up and lonely?

@pigsDOfly

Like maybe but real friends? come on

I met one of my best friends at work. Why is that so unlikely?

We meet people who end up being our friends in all sorts of situations why is this less likely to happen at work than at the school gates, for instance?

because of the competition that goes with work.

When you go for the same promotion, when one climbs faster than the other, when one suddenly become in charge and better paid.. it doesn't make for harmonious and happy friendships.

When you want the same time off, when one is doing more work than the other, or picking up the slack for the other... When your friend is suddenly the one raising your poor performance or excessive absence, or just the fact that you turned up late..

It' s not impossible and not all roles have a competitive element. Not everybody has difference in salary, in bonuses, in time off.

But while you can be super friendly at work, it's not always the best place to develop real friendship.

Personally, that would be my dream. I've had enough of all the office politics and bullying nonsense that comes with working with other people 😊

@Flowers24 - not everyone I've been work friends with have tipped over into real life friends, some have, some haven't and just made those working days more fun.

But then, some people I went to school, college and uni with have remained real friends, others where just friends for that time in my life and I'm not in touch with now in my 40s. That doesn't mean my school friends / uni friends weren't real friends at the time, just we moved on.

Some work friends haven't become real life friends, but have become a bit of a very real work network. in some industries, knowing people who do similar roles in other companies is a good benefit to your career.

It's a tough one. As said above huge numbers of people would welcome this. In my old job I fought very hard with my control freak boss to be allowed to work from home. He was the type who just wanted to see his people in front of him. For me, not having to commute gave me more time with my children.

For young people I can see that it's problematic if your social life was tied up with your work life. Also a lot of people meet partners through work, so that might have an effect too.

But maybe it just means you find different ways of doing things, you find/make time to spend time eg go for lunch, with friends you choose rather than the person who happens to work at the next day. The bonus of working from home is it gives you the gift of time. If you choose to, you can spend that time with other people, by going out for lunch, going to the gym or swimming, visiting friends or family. Obviously sitting in your own house on your own all the time isn't healthy but once it's safe and legal to go out and socialise, working from home should give you more time to do this. Spending 4 hours a day on a train with strangers isn't healthy either, which is why my husband is very happy to continue working from home.

I think working in offices will come back sooner than lots of people think, so don't despair. I don't have kids either and like you, I derive a lot of my purpose in life from my work - I'm sure it's different if work is less central to your identity. I've worked from home for a few months - relatively easy as my husband is retired and we have a nice cottage in a lovely village so socially distanced exercise is pleasant. But boy do I feel lucky that I can go back to the office. You'll be OK, don't worry OP.

• because of the competition that goes with work.

When you go for the same promotion, when one climbs faster than the other, when one suddenly become in charge and better paid.. it doesn't make for harmonious and happy friendships.*

Lots of 'friendships' are competitive, whether or not they begin at work!!!

I think working in offices will come back sooner than lots of people think,

Despite all the people in here saying their workplace has permanently shut their office? It isn’t coming back soon.

I think some of the workplaces planning on going fully remote will soon find potential employees voting with their feet and choosing not to apply for jobs there, plus some people like OP who will choose to leave.

While fully remote working is obviously appealing to some the idea of starting in a new organisation that had no office would completely put me off. Also I can’t imagine many new grad types in their twenties want to spend all their working hours in a cramped bedroom in a shared house.

So maybe in the medium or longer term organisations that do have some office space and therefore some level of in person sociability and collaboration will find themselves at an advantage when it comes to recruiting staff. And fully remote organisations that are struggling to recruit will need to have a rethink.

Haven’t RTFT.

I can empathise with how you feel, of course, and YANBU to feel the way you feel!🌷

But many people would be very happy with that setup.

For my DH it’s completely opposite to you - he is absolutely dreading having to be back in the office.

From people I’ve spoken with it seems to be about 50/50 between those who desperately miss the office/work setting and those who really don’t.

The problem with most companies is that they don't ever distinguish the difference between introvert and extrovert. They only see to cater for one. Your problems would have been solved if they had downsized to a smaller office to cater for those who wanted to be more office-based.

Personally for me (although I run my own business) I hated having to work in an office so WFH I would have loved. (Which I do now anyway).

Have you thought about joining a private members club? I belong to an amazing one, women only, and it was great to go and meet and work amongst other people.

You could look in your area and see if one exists. I know mine is just opening up again so they all will be. Maybe some people in your office who feel the same as you may want to do the same thing or you could separately arrange to meet a group of people and work together for the day for the company. Hotels are brilliant for this type of thing and they will all be opening up again soon.

I think now the country is starting to open back up again you don't necessarily need to be tied to a desk in your home.

YANBU OP, it's tough when a change is imposed on you and we've all lost enough this year, so the prospect of having to give up something else that you valued is sad.

It’s not at all unreasonable to mourn what you’ve lost. I love remote working but I can see how people who like/need the daily interaction of others are really struggling to adjust. So saying goodbye to what worked well for you and made you happy is a very normal response to a situation out of your control. It’s better to be honest about this and work out a way of replicating to some extent what you’ve lost.

It must be a shock and I feel sorry for you. I wonder if they will change it back at some point though. I think morale and productivity will dip in the end if teams have to work apart forever. I was SO productive and keen at first at home, but this has slipped a bit. Going back to the office will give me a necessary kick up the arse as much as I am happier at home.

We are going flexi 50:50 which I think suits most.

Maybe look for another job or use the freed up time to get a hobby where you can meet new people.

Generally I would be worried about having all your eggs in the career basket, anything could happen there. I would embrace this as an opportunity to diversify your life

Our tech firm is looking to get rid of London weighting if we work remote. Don’t seem to realise that people’s rent and mortgages are tied up to it and seem to think all about travel costs. Has left me with sleepless nights for last month as they’ll need to consult with us on contract change.

My company arrangement re London weighting is you keep it you already have it, but if you move, you may lose it. It’s still a bit vague. We all have new homeworking contracts.

We won't go fully remote but I'm kind of hoping for split office / home working going forward. My colleague wants 100% office.

Despite all the people in here saying their workplace has permanently shut their office?

There aren’t that many saying that.

It’s not that difficult to rent new office space.

What competitors do will have a huge bearing on what happens medium term. Unless the whole sector goes wholly wfh, it will be difficult for companies to remain competitive if they do.

I think the PP is absolutely right, it’s not a long term development (though there will be more flexibility for a while at least).

I totally understand op. I love working remotely and hope it continues but my hubby hates it and needs the office environment.

@WonkyCactus

I was just thinking earlier that this has been the best and easiest year of my working life. I used to get so stressed about interactions with colleagues and the social side of work. Now I don't have to worry about any of that, I can just get on with the job. Dreading having to go back into the office, even part time.

I agree with this. I’m a quiet person but felt compelled to socialise with people I would never choose to include in my personal life in order to ‘fit in with the team’ because that was the culture. I’m loving the new working pattern.

@Usagi12

Speak for yourself, most people I know are back in the office from 12 April. Just find a new job and cut the drama!

Have a little compassion. It's a massive transition. And as someone who is 3 months away from having no job and has been applying for 9 months, it's not that easy to get a new job. People are allowed to feel sad at loss and change.

it sounds tough for you, totally get that it must be upsetting.

But a cost cutting exercise might be necessary for protecting your companies existence and protecting jobs. There will be a lot of people who prefer it too, but I imagine with things being tough right now saving on office space could make all the difference

Saving 2 hours a day and £300 A month in fuel. Loving it

Id love it. Imagine being able to go and live anywhere you want in the country with no commuting costs fab!! Mind you I'm 59 and have a big group of friends outside of work.

I think some of the workplaces planning on going fully remote will soon find potential employees voting with their feet and choosing not to apply for jobs there, plus some people like OP who will choose to leave.

I used to work for a fully remote company, who already had that set up before COVID and people were desperate to work there. We’d receive hundreds of applications for roles, including younger people who’d just left uni. I’ve worked remotely for ten years and enjoyed many aspects of it. So no, I don’t think remote companies will struggle to recruit at all.