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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad that the world of work as we knew it has gone forever?

809 replies

Youngatheart00 · 15/03/2021 21:07

My work confirmed today we are moving to 100% remote working and will only get together a few times a year for team meetings. I find this so sad. I loved my working life - I know realise so much of that was down to the people. Now all I do all day is stare at screens and give myself a migraine.

They are justifying it by saying ‘most people’ want this despite me never seeing any such survey. It’s a blatant cost cutting exercise.

Anyone else fed up and lonely?

OP posts:
MargosKaftan · 16/03/2021 16:55

If a job changes to the extent that if you'd seen it advertised just over a year ago you wouldn't have applied for it, even if it was more money, then its time to look for another job.

Some people do suit working from home long term with little human interaction. MN is full of people who only want to spend time with their dh and dcs and have positively loved not having other people to talk to for a year. But most people aren't like that.

Update your cv and let recruitment consultants covering your job area know you are looking for a new challenge. Few companies will stick to no office space - this is no longer the right role for you.

Flowers24 · 16/03/2021 17:09

I feel sad for those too whose work is also their social life and i am not sure i believe they have real 'friends' at work.....

Flowers24 · 16/03/2021 17:12

@TheKeatingFive

Im amazed people are 'friends' with work colleagues, most of us just tolerate others?

Why is it so hard to believe that some people like their work colleagues? The lack of imagination on this thread is quite something.

Like maybe but real friends? come on
milveycrohn · 16/03/2021 17:13

Some companies in the City have said they will be back in the office (not sure when). They said that people cannot work as effectively at home, without mentoring junior staff, etc.
Obviously, if everyone except you goes for a team meeting, you can see this, when in the office, but not at home.
Ultimately, I think there will be a mix of office and home working.
My former employer was already reducing office space and 'hot desking', but I have now been told this will be impossible in a post covid world

TheKeatingFive · 16/03/2021 17:14

Like maybe but real friends? come on

Yes Hmm

MargosKaftan · 16/03/2021 17:14

The social life thing as well - perhaps this is a London / city issue, but I found stopping working in London meant my social life got more restricted, because I wasn't already there. So many times I'd meet friends after work in Central London, then we'd get our various trains home in different directions. Once I stopped going into the city and us already all working within a mile of each other, meet up wasn't practical for the evening - too far to travel to each others houses when one lives in Kent and one in Reading, a couple in Essex and another in Bedfordshire.

By the time we'd finished work, got home and then got a train into town, we were meeting an hour/2 hours later than just popping for a drink straight from the office.

Lockdown has made my DH realise how few friends he has in our town, most of his social life had continued like that and none of his friends live within half an hour drive of us, most are 2+ hours drive.

MargosKaftan · 16/03/2021 17:19

Some of my friends are people I worked with 15 years ago. Yes, often "work friends" become "real friends".

Would you say to a school child that their school friends aren't "real" friends? Or uni course friends? Why is it hard to believe that people you spend all day with will often become genuine friends, if the thing you are doing all day is paid work rather than study or being at toddler groups etc?

Particularly in jobs where its more of a vocation so your colleagues are more likely to be people like you.

Nesski · 16/03/2021 17:19

I love being in the office, I choose to work at my company as we have similar common goals, similar work ethics, different interests but are interesting to talk about! PP have mentioned 'work first then friends' well I'm in a department that are supportive of eachother, like each other's company and you will find people who are of similar age to you going through similar life experiences! And those that say 'find some friends outside of work' well a lot of colleagues I know moved to the city (not just London) with no friends, no family, and an inclusive set of colleagues would surely welcome them with open arms! It is innate for humans to want to be part of a physical community in some shape or form and with work taking up so much of your life, it's understandable why people would want that, so yes OP, I am sad for you, and make sure you let your company know that lack of f2f interaction was a key driver in making you leave (if that's what you choose to do).

wusbanker · 16/03/2021 17:21

Totally depends, I used to be in a job really close to my house with colleagues who were all young and unencumbered, we had a lot of fun. Now I live further from work and don't really like my colleagues so much prefer home working.

pigsDOfly · 16/03/2021 17:23

Like maybe but real friends? come on

I met one of my best friends at work. Why is that so unlikely?

We meet people who end up being our friends in all sorts of situations why is this less likely to happen at work than at the school gates, for instance?

MyDcAreMarvel · 16/03/2021 17:24

Couldn’t disagree more. Wfh gives you so much more of your life back. No commute so hours extra to do as you please. No stress of a commute, better for the environment Lie ins , comfy clothes, no small talk , more time with family, in for parcels, can eat lunch at home, use your own toilet. Absolutely no negatives at all.

coffeewithcream · 16/03/2021 17:25

Lucky you. I'm back full time in a college full of students who do not like to wear masks & social distancing doesn't seem to matter.

RampantIvy · 16/03/2021 17:26

@Flowers24

I feel sad for those too whose work is also their social life and i am not sure i believe they have real 'friends' at work.....
You sound quite jealous. One of my "friends" from work offered to drive me and DD over 100 miles to a children's hospital specialising in children's cancer. Fortunately, it didn't come to that.
Yapplepearora · 16/03/2021 17:28

@Flowers24

Well aren’t you just fan-fucking-tastic. I wonder how much your friends really like you because you sound quite judgemental.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 16/03/2021 17:29

Our office has been open since the first lockdown ended, for those who want to go in. In my department of 50, one person has been in every day since then. Three others go in occasionally. The other 46 are happy working from home full time.

From what I see on video when I talk to the one guy, other departments are similar.

Nobody I know outside of work wants to go back to the office either.

ExponentiallyDepleted · 16/03/2021 17:30

@Flowers24

Im amazed people are 'friends' with work colleagues, most of us just tolerate others? I cant bear the whole drinks after work, team building or fake pretend social events, give me working from home and the odd business meeting any day.
Not at all, everywhere I have worked I have made friends and I would say that in my experience it is totally normal. There's always one or two people who have personality clashes or don't really get on but it tends to be the exception not the rule.
RampantIvy · 16/03/2021 17:32

Is it because they genuinely want to WFH or are they still being careful due to the pandemic @HeyDemonsItsYaGirl?

InfoInfoInfo · 16/03/2021 17:32

WFH suits some who don't like to socialise with others or who don't want to travel and have the space etc.

I do think it encourages social isolation and loneliness though.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 16/03/2021 17:33

Personally I like wfh and will continue to do so for the majority of time. However YANBU at all.

Think about people who live in studio flats with no space for comfortable working, or with abusive partners, or who live alone and literally have no other actual contact with people, or are just starting their careers and need to learn from others. It is a major major lifestyle change to go from office based to 100% wfh forever and I think you have every right to feel bereaved for the life you had previously. Flowers

MarshaBradyo · 16/03/2021 17:34

Like maybe but real friends? come on

What kind of work do you do? Do you support others senior etc?

I don’t see it as an issue to find you can be friends with various people, even if it’s getting on with someone at work.

Also do people with think this stay in one place and not move o/s etc

FoodologistGirl · 16/03/2021 17:35

My boss asked what we wanted to do so I’m going in once a week once I have my jab. Most of my colleagues feel the same. I love working from home. So productive and not disturbed while being creative. Plus can go out for a cycle at lunchtime and come home and have a shower. I miss my work friends but don’t miss the drama llamas and office politics or the hour commute. I’m older, but I can images younger worker miss the evenings out etc. Once a week to catch up is perfect for me.

cherish123 · 16/03/2021 17:36

I understand how you feel. People who live alone will find it particularly hard.

chaosmaker · 16/03/2021 17:37

So they need to swap employees around and companies that want office based get those staff and the WFH people get to do that. Would make sense.

sabbii · 16/03/2021 17:38

OP - I would be totally happy not having to go to the office ever again apart from occassional visits and many feel the same. Had enough of commuting, the office is nearly 2 hours away (so that is the major driver) but crucially in my work I deal with outsourced work at 3rd parties and so am pretty much an independent unit all on myself. Been WFH for a long time and have a good set-up. TBH the office is great for chatting

dizzy125 · 16/03/2021 17:39

100% remote? Sign me up! As a single mum, this is the first time I've felt like full time working and parenting is a) affordable/worthwhile and b) actually logistically do-able. And it only took a global pandemic to shift working conditions enough that I dont feel like a permanently stressed out Bee.