Houseshare problems - tenant's new boyfriend refuses to leave

[FirstAvenue]

Name changed, looking for advice here. I'll try not to go into too much detail.

I own a five bedroom house in a town a fair distance away and I let out four bedrooms under Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements. It's an all female house as I have found that way it is generally easier to manage from a distance.

I do everything as professionally as possible, I advertise empty rooms, take references from applicants, tell them the house rules and give the tenants a proper tenancy agreement which states that they have exclusive use of their bedroom and shared use of the communal areas.

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend." Now it's not that I am a prude, it's just that I have learnt from previous bad experiences that the house becomes overcrowded and untidy and generally starts to smell if the house is over-occupied. It's very hard to let a room if the house smells.

One of the girls, let's call her Ann, got a new boyfriend about six months ago and recently he appears to have "moved in". She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby. Unfortunately it is not just a case of staying in her room, he seems to spend most of the time watching TV in the living room and has even set his laptop up in the kitchen.

One of the other girls, let's call her Betsy, has complained about his continued presence. Betsy says that she took the house on the basis that it was girls only, and that she feels uncomfortable with him being in the house all the time in his dressing gown.

I've asked Ann to stick to the house rules and to make sure he only stays ever other weekend, and she has at various times in the last two weeks a) denied that he stays there in the week, b) says he does stay over sometimes but the other girls don't mind, or c) says that he is her partner and she wants him to stay as much as possible. It is clear that she is not telling the truth.

Betsy however made a further formal complaint to me last Tuesday, and after a number of texts and phone calls to Ann during which time the boyfriend did not depart, last Friday I had to write an email to Ann asking her to make sure that house rules are obeyed and that her boyfriend only stays two nights a fortnight. I did not get a reply.

Betsy went away for the weekend but when she arrived back last night the boyfriend was there and he was still there this morning. She is now dreading going back home this evening, and it is my understanding that he has now stayed there for 11 consecutive nights. Betsy is now asking me what she should do if he is still there this evening.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve this?

Also are the utilities bills split equally? If so Ann’s taking even more of the piss if Betsy’s subsiding this.

Hi OP, I'm an HMO Property Manager for a living and @Lockheart @JustLyra and @Boomboomboomboom have given you really good advice. Tenancy law can be unforgiving so you need to tread carefully.

You need to service notice, both S21 & S8 on Ann. Don't under any circumstances accept any rent or form of payment from the boyfriend as you may accidentally create a tenancy that pushes you into mandatory HMO licencing territory. By issuing notice you are correctly and legally dealing with the situation.

The police will not want to be involved with a tenant having a guest in the house. It is a civil matter unless there is an issue under Covid law but even then I suspect it's really unlikely they will want to be involved.

If Ann is saying she is looking to leave shortly and you really want to keep Betsy as a tenant then it may be best to try to mediate the situation between Ann and Betsy temporarily until such time as Ann can find somewhere else but serving notice on Ann in the meantime at least starts the process.

There is a huge difference between an occasional overnight visitor and a boyfriend who has seemingly moved in.

Both for the comfort of the other tenants and legally for the OP.

Surely the boyfriend is there without your permission, therefore he is trespassing on your property. Ask him to leave, and give Ann 6 months notice at the same time

People really have no comprehension of renting rules do they. It might be the OP's property but she rents out the use of it to tenants as their homes. Therefore it is up to the tenants to give permission to people to enter, not the OP. The OP (and any landlord) can actually trespass in their own property if it's rented out as once it's rented it's the tenants home which they have a right to quiet enjoyment of without the OP acting like a controlling parent. Tenants need more rights in this country, not less.

Do you have anyone local who can pay them a surprise visit so that you can then tell Ann that you know that the boyfriend is still there? This won't put the spotlight on Betsy.

Surely the quickest way to deal with this in the short term is to either report them or threaten to report them for breaking lockdown rules every time he enters the house?

I shared many a house in my student days and never once thought it was any of my business who my house mates had staying as long as they didn't eat my food or hog the bathroom. This Betsy is going to struggle wherever she lives if she can't handle bfs staying over. She needs to perhaps move back to her parents until she can afford a place of her own.

This isn't a boyfriend staying over, it's a boyfriend virtually moving in, which significantly affects the dynamic lf the house, to say nothing of putting up costs and potentially affecting the insurance.

And what about when they not only hog the bathroom but also fester around the kitchen and the living room? People are entitled to a reasonable degree of privacy if that's the agreement they've signed up to.

I’m fairly certain that Anti social behaviour won’t work
ASB is stuff like drugs prostitution, noise on going problems with neighbours, assault a , rent arrears more than six months and violent crime like Affray knifes in a public place and rioting .

Anne having her boyfriend over while I do thinks it’s anti social of her you have zero chance of evicting her using ASB

It also has to be extremely well documented as well from other agencies like police, social services, court convictions and even with a court conviction you only have 1 year from the conviction to start proceedings.
Can you tell I’m going through something similar 😂

Also OP be careful of people giving you advice to show up every day or send round 'burly' or intimidating friends.

Tenants of HMO's have the right to live in the property without nuisance from the landlord and i'd say both of the above cross into nuisance and could possibly be harassment if ongoing (lots of cases of landlords harassing tenants when I was at uni and once one went the rest all followed) so be careful not to tip over into illegal territory to protect your non legally enforceable house rules.

It should be a comfortable home for all inmates residents. Locks on doors should suffice if people don't feel safe. Not allowing overnight guests is ridiculous.

So a woman who has chosen a woman-only rental has to lock herself in her room because another tenant has moved her boyfriend in?

I agree that Ann needs to have her notice immediately. I’d also call Shelter for advice. Even if she breaks up with him or he never stays again, she has lied to you and not followed your rules.

Once Ann has gone, look into changing the type of contract for people in future.

Your priority needs to be Betsy in all of this. She moved in based on the house rules and someone isn’t following them. This is your responsibility.

Also, all of those saying that the police won’t be interested are missing the fact we are in a lockdown. I wouldn’t report someone staying with their partner under normal circumstances but this is one time that it could be done and be classed as illegal.

Feck thst, I’d the same experience in a house-share. Housemate worked full-time and boyfriend hung around doing nothing. He didn’t contribute to the house, didn’t tidy up or put the rubbish out. Eventually said it her and her response was why didn’t I ask her about him much earlier on. She didn’t think she should have to for ask permission. Even though moving in boy/girl friends was a breach of the tenancy agreement.
She has to leave, cheeky wagon.

@Nith

I shared many a house in my student days and never once thought it was any of my business who my house mates had staying as long as they didn't eat my food or hog the bathroom. This Betsy is going to struggle wherever she lives if she can't handle bfs staying over. She needs to perhaps move back to her parents until she can afford a place of her own.

This isn't a boyfriend staying over, it's a boyfriend virtually moving in, which significantly affects the dynamic lf the house, to say nothing of putting up costs and potentially affecting the insurance.

And what about when they not only hog the bathroom but also fester around the kitchen and the living room? People are entitled to a reasonable degree of privacy if that's the agreement they've signed up to.

Absolutely

The last two paragraphs

Mumsnet is being weird tonight. There is normally a big deal made about safe women only spaces, but Betsy should be able to deal with a male moving into one of the safest spaces, her own home, without making a complaint?
Its completely different having an occasional visitor, or a visitor every weekend even, to having someone there all the time, watching tv in the communal room, and setting up their laptop in the kitchen. That's what a housemate does, not a visitor. And I bet the other housemates will be pissed off even if they are being diplomatic and trying to stay out of it. They are getting less use of the property (and will be having to wait longer to use the shower(s), the kitchen, have less turns in the communal spaces, less turns watching tv etc and on top of that they are effectively subsidising this stranger living there. It's not the same as a guest, they were living in a 4 person female house and now they are in a 5 person mixed house, including one couple, where one of the 5 is getting free accommodation.

Firstly you need to find some way to prove that the boyfriend is there, which means getting someone to go round daily. Then you need to serve her notice. In the meantime I dont know if you are able to charge her more because of the 5th person effectively living there or whether that breaks covid rules. You could also find his details and report him to the police for breaking covid rules. I think you are going to have to send someone over in person though. What's to stop her denying it and saying that betsy is lying? You cant put it all on betsy to have to spy on them and report them

Reminds me of being at uni and a girl moved her boyfriend in. He spent all day sat on our sofa even when she was at uni. It was really irritating ...

For those saying that it is like a prison etc - I am a grown women with a child but as I am in rented accommodation I am not allowed a partner stay over more than 2 nights a week. As it is seen as living together and would need to go on the tenancy.

Can you go and visit, dont tell either Anne or Betsy what each other has said, if he is there tell him to leave. Has Betsy got proof he is there.

She moved in based on the house rules and someone isn’t following them. This is your responsibility.

Except the only thing OP as the LL can do is serve notice.

That’s it. That’s literally all she can do.

The house rules aren’t enforceable. Anyone who wants to guarantee to live in a female-only situation should either live with flatmates of their own choosing (under a single property joint tenancy, not in an HMO where the LL lets rooms singly) or perhaps as a lodger with a female occupier-LL.

I feel sorry for Betsy but in terms of ‘enforcement’ the OP as LL cannot really help her.

I agree with @FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken . It's just not as relaxing having a random bloke around when you go downstairs or whatever. It'd be one thing if he kept in the room (though still not in agreement with the rules set by the homeowner) but impinging on other tenants is even worse.

Mumsnet is being weird tonight. There is normally a big deal made about safe women only spaces, but Betsy should be able to deal with a male moving into one of the safest spaces, her own home, without making a complaint?

I think Betsy is totally within her rights to complain, of course she is.

But as to how it gets resolved, that is much harder.

Legally there are no quick fixes to resolving this.

Is the boyfriend otherwise homeless, then? Shit

Even if he is that isn't ops or betsy's problem or responsibility

He should not have a key for example, and he should not be there if she is not.

Totally agree

It doesnt matter that other tenants dont mind this man staying over

Exactly! It's still a piss take - and frankly I'd be genuinely surprised if they weren't actually pissed off but afraid to speak up - I mean it's not like women often feel unable to speak up in the face of unreasonable and dominating behaviour by a man is it!

In their shoes (and I have been) at the very least I'd be pissed off at his maybe increasing costs of utilities, or blocking use of kitchen/bathroom

It's also really annoying to not feel comfortable to be in your own home in a state of undress EVER!

I hope there are at least decent locks on the bathrooms and bedroom doors? Cos to be honest I would be wanting to lock my bedroom door at night if there were a man I barely knew staying in my home!

@mybonnieliesovertheocean2 covid regs are why 6 months at the moment there's effectively a ban on evictions to prevent those tenants who are suffering financially from losing their homes, this of course is not an altruistic measure the last thing this govt needs at the moment is a surge in homelessness

@GetOffYourHighHorse many of us have been students in such situations it IS annoying and a piss take if said boyfriend is there hogging the bathroom and kitchen, eating the food, creating dirty dishes and not washing them, using towels, using all the hot water (yea I know most modern places this isn't as much an issue then but it was back then and still is in some places now - it certainly still needs paying for by someone! If not the tenants then the op - why should they be paying for hot water, electric, gas, for someone who's not even paying rent?!?), hogging the tv etc

I had a boyfriend while at uni first time and I house shared, the main person I house shared with behaved totally fairly and her boyfriend didn't stay over any more than mine which was roughly as op has said is ok eow due to ldr but 2 other housemates I had in that time their boyfriends and them totally took the piss!

Final straw for me in one case was when he marched into the bathroom when I was showering despite the fact that the shower could clearly be heard from outside the bathroom AND we had a sign we'd made for it showing if it was occupied! The lock was buggered and yes in hindsight we should have pushed to get that sorted BUT quite honestly the freeloading git shouldn't have been there! His girlfriend wasn't even there she was at her parents for a bank hol weekend and I didn't even know he was in the flat! I will admit I lost my shit at that point and moved out the next week and never spoke to the housemate again, but I should never have been put in that position.

You're lucky - and quite unusual I have to say - if they never took your food or hogged the bathroom or were otherwise intrusive and annoying!