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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Houseshare problems - tenant's new boyfriend refuses to leave

647 replies

FirstAvenue · 15/03/2021 16:05

Name changed, looking for advice here. I'll try not to go into too much detail.

I own a five bedroom house in a town a fair distance away and I let out four bedrooms under Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements. It's an all female house as I have found that way it is generally easier to manage from a distance.

I do everything as professionally as possible, I advertise empty rooms, take references from applicants, tell them the house rules and give the tenants a proper tenancy agreement which states that they have exclusive use of their bedroom and shared use of the communal areas.

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend." Now it's not that I am a prude, it's just that I have learnt from previous bad experiences that the house becomes overcrowded and untidy and generally starts to smell if the house is over-occupied. It's very hard to let a room if the house smells.

One of the girls, let's call her Ann, got a new boyfriend about six months ago and recently he appears to have "moved in". She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby. Unfortunately it is not just a case of staying in her room, he seems to spend most of the time watching TV in the living room and has even set his laptop up in the kitchen.

One of the other girls, let's call her Betsy, has complained about his continued presence. Betsy says that she took the house on the basis that it was girls only, and that she feels uncomfortable with him being in the house all the time in his dressing gown.

I've asked Ann to stick to the house rules and to make sure he only stays ever other weekend, and she has at various times in the last two weeks a) denied that he stays there in the week, b) says he does stay over sometimes but the other girls don't mind, or c) says that he is her partner and she wants him to stay as much as possible. It is clear that she is not telling the truth.

Betsy however made a further formal complaint to me last Tuesday, and after a number of texts and phone calls to Ann during which time the boyfriend did not depart, last Friday I had to write an email to Ann asking her to make sure that house rules are obeyed and that her boyfriend only stays two nights a fortnight. I did not get a reply.

Betsy went away for the weekend but when she arrived back last night the boyfriend was there and he was still there this morning. She is now dreading going back home this evening, and it is my understanding that he has now stayed there for 11 consecutive nights. Betsy is now asking me what she should do if he is still there this evening.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve this?

OP posts:
JustLyra · 15/03/2021 23:40

@oil0W0lio

presumably that’s why you only rent out four of the bedrooms OP is playing fast & lose?? (what are the implications👀)
And for clarity i wasn’t suggesting the op was playing fast and loose, just that she knows the difference between 4 and 5 residents in a HMO
JustLyra · 15/03/2021 23:42

@Mamanyt

You have politely requested that Anne abide by house rules, not once, but SEVERAL times. Is this a tenancy-at-will? That is, there is no actual lease, but tenant and landlord agree that tenants occupies? If so, you may move direction to eviction...or you could in the USA. Double check this. And if you can, DO SO. If there is a lease, send her a registered letter stating that you have discussed this issue (and be specific on which issue) several times, and this is a warning that any further infraction of this rule will result in immediate eviction procedings. And follow through.

My guess is that she will get miffed and move out in a flounce. Have her room inspected immediately, as she may well damage things on her way out the door.

There are no immediate eviction proceedings.

If the OP wishes to evict a tenant then she must given them the legally required notice, which at the moment is 6 months.

ConsuelaHammock · 15/03/2021 23:57

Yes the boyfriend wins if you want to make it a win or lose situation. Betsy loses .
The landlord has no right to tell a tenant how to live their life . They really don’t. And neither should they.

oil0W0lio · 16/03/2021 00:00

The real reason OP is concerned is not that the girls are unhappy, all this mother hen stuff is just an act what she is really concerned about is that it's having a fifth person put her in breach of the rules covering HMOs.... she's looking for a way to cover her arse

ConsuelaHammock · 16/03/2021 00:02

We rent another house to a couple and their three children . They have just moved in two teenagers. I won’t go into the reasons why but not once did they ask us if it was ok. I really don’t think those giving off about the landlord enforcing rules understand that the tenants call the shots. Every time !

ConsuelaHammock · 16/03/2021 00:03

As long as the fifth person isn’t on the tenancy agreement, she’s fine oil. Don’t worry !

SoulofanAggron · 16/03/2021 00:04

The OP’s big problem now is that if Betsy reports that she’s informed her of the boyfriend moving in then the OP is going to face issues with the HMO license.

@JustLyra He hasn't moved in as such, to be fair, it just probably feels like it.

ConsuelaHammock · 16/03/2021 00:05

You have two choices op . 1.Ask Ann to leave . It will take months . 2. Suggest that Betsy leaves. There are no winners in this situation. Do not get involved any more than you have done already. You’re not their mother. I’m assuming they are adults.

oil0W0lio · 16/03/2021 00:06

Not once did they ask us if it was ok
Of course they didn't, just as I don't have to ask anyone's permission to do things in my own home!
You are a landlord not their legal guardian, you have no say over how these people live their lives provided they are within the laws.

ConsuelaHammock · 16/03/2021 00:08

So it’s ok to move two more people into a house but poor Ann can’t have a shag more than two nights a week?

JustLyra · 16/03/2021 00:08

@SoulofanAggron

The OP’s big problem now is that if Betsy reports that she’s informed her of the boyfriend moving in then the OP is going to face issues with the HMO license.

@JustLyra He hasn't moved in as such, to be fair, it just probably feels like it.

He’s been there nearly two weeks, is comfortable enough there to be hanging around in his dressing gown and Ann previously said “she will move out as soon as she can as long as the boyfriend can stay in the mean time”

I’ll eat my hat if he’s not living there.

ConsuelaHammock · 16/03/2021 00:09

I don’t care that they moved them in btw. I’m pointing out that they didn’t ask us. Just like Ann didn’t ask her landlord if she could have her boyfriend over .

JustLyra · 16/03/2021 00:10

@ConsuelaHammock

As long as the fifth person isn’t on the tenancy agreement, she’s fine oil. Don’t worry !
If he’s living there then the fact he’s not on the tenancy agreement doesn’t matter.

You can’t just have 5/6/8/10 people in a house and dodge HMO rules by only putting 4 on the tenancy.

The OP needs to be very careful as the fines as hefty.

ConsuelaHammock · 16/03/2021 00:10

If he pays for another place then he doesn’t live there.

ConsuelaHammock · 16/03/2021 00:13

I doubt that the op is trying to dodge anything. She can’t be held accountable for a boyfriend staying over .

DishingOutDone · 16/03/2021 00:18

I think Betsy is the one who needs to get legal advice, it sounds like the others in the house are making her life pretty shit.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 16/03/2021 00:20

You can’t just have 5/6/8/10 people in a house and dodge HMO rules by only putting 4 on the tenancy.

Other than the lack of contract and I'm sure the lack of his name on any utilities or any payment going from him to the OP so sounds like hes still a guest and not a tenant no matter how hard youre pushing this incorrect line

SoulofanAggron · 16/03/2021 00:23

The real reason OP is concerned is not that the girls are unhappy, all this mother hen stuff is just an act what she is really concerned about is that it's having a fifth person put her in breach of the rules covering HMOs.... she's looking for a way to cover her arse

@oil0W0lio I don't think this is true of OP. At the very least, having people contacting her about it is probably stressful and annoying and she wants it to end. And landlords who are also decent people do exist I'm sure. Smile

And maybe she doesn't want to get in legal or financial trouble- that is perfectly reasonable and normal. None of us would want stress or financial penalties. Nothing wrong with that. So, if she doesn't want to get in trouble and mess up her and her loved ones' lives in any way- good for her. A mature and sensible human being would seek to avoid that.

Her motivation isn't really relevant and might well be a mixture of the above factors.

Years ago I rented a room in a shared house under a house 'rule' that the landlord gave for the house and I broke the 'rule,' which was very unpleasant for the other tenants. (I won't say what it was so as not to derail the thread.)

As a healthier and more mature person I recognize it was wrong. The house rules were not laws, but I still shouldn'tve broken them, as I had agreed to them. The landlord only consented to my having the room based on that agreement.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 16/03/2021 00:23

@DishingOutDone

I think Betsy is the one who needs to get legal advice, it sounds like the others in the house are making her life pretty shit.
Or Betsy is that one bloody housemate who thinks she has a right to an opinion on everyone elses life and will 'tattle', its like some people adopted that role in primary and ever since they need to tell an authority figure when a perceived rule is broken
DishingOutDone · 16/03/2021 00:24

Ann? is that you?

oil0W0lio · 16/03/2021 00:26

and I broke the 'rule,' which was very unpleasant for the other tenants. (I won't say what it was so as not to derail the thread.)
hey that's not on 😡 deliberately taunting us with some juicy gossip and then not telling😮

JustAnotherPoster00 · 16/03/2021 00:26

Lol, is that you Betsy? Grin

SoulofanAggron · 16/03/2021 00:26

So it’s ok to move two more people into a house but poor Ann can’t have a shag more than two nights a week?

@ConsuelaHammock She can have several shags every night of the week, he just can't stay over every night, that's all.

JustLyra · 16/03/2021 00:29

@JustAnotherPoster00

You can’t just have 5/6/8/10 people in a house and dodge HMO rules by only putting 4 on the tenancy.

Other than the lack of contract and I'm sure the lack of his name on any utilities or any payment going from him to the OP so sounds like hes still a guest and not a tenant no matter how hard youre pushing this incorrect line

It’s not incorrect. If he’s moved in, and Ann’s “Ann has previously said she will move out as soon as she can as long as the boyfriend can stay in the mean time” sounds like he has, then the OP needs to be careful.

It’s incredibly easy as a LL to get caught out by that and the penalties are harsh.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 16/03/2021 00:31

So he should be afforded all the protections of a tenant then?