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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think he’s lying about vaccine

74 replies

Partychaos · 15/03/2021 15:33

My dad has a lot of health issues making him CEV he’s been shielding since last March. He has always refused to have a flu jab (despite it being recommended as he has COPD) before Christmas he was very outspoken about the COVID vaccine. We discussed it, although I accepted it was decision to make. I asked him what he was worried about and a lot of it was misinformation he had read on Facebook. I didn’t force my viewpoint on him just corrected some of the things he had read.
He got invited for a vaccine and when I was at his house (I’m his carer and he’s in our household bubble) I asked if he wanted me to book his appointment for him. He agreed and didn’t raise any objection. I booked him for his first jab in February and his second in April.
Last week I asked what date his second jab was as I couldn’t remember which day it was (and didn’t have the screenshot with me) He said he couldn’t remember. I said it would be on the card that everyone gets. Apparently he didn’t get the card that says your name, DOB, which vaccine it was and the batch number and the date.
I questioned it as everyone else I’ve seen on Facebook and myself personally got a card. He said no they just give me this and pulled out a leaflet for the Oxford vaccine. Like the leaflet which comes with medication with side effects and things and said this is all he got.
I questioned why he wasn’t given the vaccine card and he just shrugged and said he didn’t know he needed one so never asked.
The thing is he’s been booked in for stuff before e.g a prostate exam and when I asked how it went he told a huge long tale about the hospital parking. Then he ended up in hospital and it turned out he had never gone to the appointment and he just lied.
AIBU in thinking he’s lying that he went?
If he’s not lying I’m not sure how they will be able to give him the second jab as they surely can’t just take his word of which vaccine and date he had it on.
My kids are at school/nursery and if he hasn’t had even the first immunization I’m stressed to bits that he will catch it from them.

OP posts:

MazekeenSmith · 15/03/2021 15:35

YANBU to be suspicious but colleagues of mine didn't get a card or book the second vaccine when they got the first so it's possible

HalfSizeMe · 15/03/2021 15:35

Some centres aren't giving out cards.

You can go on the website under "manage booking" with his permission to see if he has his second booked.

Crunchymum · 15/03/2021 15:36

The card I have only has the batch number on it.

No DOB, no date for second dose.

ErickBroch · 15/03/2021 15:36

He's either lying or just lost it! Call 119 and talk to them.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/03/2021 15:36

I think he is lying. If not his gp should be able to help.

Btw the card says only name/vaccine/batch number/date not dob.

Original poster

Partychaos · 15/03/2021 15:37

I booked the second one for him at the same time as the first. Would the manage my booking say if he had the first one? I’m guessing if he didn’t have the first one that the second one would be cancelled?

OP posts:

Crunchymum · 15/03/2021 15:37

I have just checked and the card has my name, the batch number and the date of my first dose.

Pepper54 · 15/03/2021 15:38

My DH and DS were both given cards (different centres in different counties).

Mintjulia · 15/03/2021 15:41

My ex has had his first jab but no date for the 2nd yet. I don't think it's very consistent.

If you have your df's NHS number, try to book the 2nd appt on-line. If he didn't have the first jab it will say so.

willibald · 15/03/2021 15:43

I never got a card or a second appointment date.

FallenSky · 15/03/2021 15:43

If you go online to check the next booking it will say if he missed the first one. I've heard of people not getting cards, our GP network Facebook page encouraged people to contact the vaccination centre if they didn't so they could pick one up. If he's had it it will be on his medical notes and as I said, will show on his bookings.

LIZS · 15/03/2021 15:44

Dm has lost her card but her second was booked with first so she knows date and time. However they also keep batch details on file.

AliceSprings123 · 15/03/2021 15:51

Doesn't ring true,OP. We're all given one, aren't we? And there's a space for the 2nd appt. date, too, which is given at the time of the 1st.
But, what to do?
Given Data Protection, but that you're his Carer, can only suggest you speak to his Surgery for their advice? You'll be able to voice your suspicions too. - they'll have all his NHS details and they might be the pathway to finding out the truth.
Does that make sense?

AliceSprings123 · 15/03/2021 15:53

See others have made good suggestions too while I was one-finger typing.

emilyfrost · 15/03/2021 15:55

@AliceSprings123

Doesn't ring true,OP. We're all given one, aren't we? And there's a space for the 2nd appt. date, too, which is given at the time of the 1st. But, what to do? Given Data Protection, but that you're his Carer, can only suggest you speak to his Surgery for their advice? You'll be able to voice your suspicions too. - they'll have all his NHS details and they might be the pathway to finding out the truth. Does that make sense?

No, not everyone is given one, and not everyone gets their second appointment when they have their first either.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/03/2021 15:56

Just manage his booking for the second one. I’m sure it will flag up the fact the first one wasn’t attended.

bruffin · 15/03/2021 15:57

Doesn't ring true,OP. We're all given one, aren't we? And there's a space for the 2nd appt. date, too, which is given at the time of the 1st.

I booked my 2nd appointment the same time as first, but dh was a tier 6 and gp booked his appointment at a different centre and he has not had 2nd appointment yet

FlamedToACrisp · 15/03/2021 15:58

My DH and stepson booked through GP, and were not given cards and have not received second appts. I booked online and went to a diff centre and got a card but it didn't say the second date on, although I know it because I booked both together.

That said, I wouldn't believe your Dad, but I'd accept it's his decision as an adult not to have the jab.

willibald · 15/03/2021 15:58

@AliceSprings123

Doesn't ring true,OP. We're all given one, aren't we? And there's a space for the 2nd appt. date, too, which is given at the time of the 1st. But, what to do? Given Data Protection, but that you're his Carer, can only suggest you speak to his Surgery for their advice? You'll be able to voice your suspicions too. - they'll have all his NHS details and they might be the pathway to finding out the truth. Does that make sense?

No, we are not. I was one of many. You checked in, they ticked off your name, you went to the chair (mine was given to me by my GP) and then they give you a leaflet, said you'd be contacted for you second dose and you left.

Spied · 15/03/2021 15:59

I had my first jab in January. I've still not got an appointment for my second.
I did not get a card or anything at all when I had it. Walked out empty handed.

CecilyP · 15/03/2021 16:01

If he’s not lying I’m not sure how they will be able to give him the second jab as they surely can’t just take his word of which vaccine and date he had it on.

The information will be on his medical record at the GP. I didn't get a card when I had my first vaccine. I expect to get a letter inviting me for the second but, as yet, I have no idea when that will be.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/03/2021 16:03

Doesn't ring true,OP. We're all given one, aren't we? And there's a space for the 2nd appt. date, too, which is given at the time of the 1st.

Not all of us. I wasn't

JustLyra · 15/03/2021 16:03

Not everyone gets a card.

I got checked in, jabbed, given a leaflet and told my appointment for the second would come out in due course.

DH got his in a different area (he got his for work reasons). He got a card, a leaflet, jabbed and told his appointment would come out in the post.

DS1 got both appointments at the same time and got a card.

Bluetrews25 · 15/03/2021 16:07

If he doesn't want the jab then he doesn't have to have it.
If he gets ill then that is his lookout, unfortunately.
I do sympathise, but you have to let people make their own mistakes when they have full mental capacity.
If he wants to see your DCs, then let him (when permitted) and don't you feel responsible if anything untoward results. He had his chance to be protected. (And let's hope he takes it)

There will be a lot competing for the Darwin natural selection awards...

NerdyBird · 15/03/2021 16:08

I had mine today. I was first given a leaflet and the vaccine information sheet (like you get with most medicine) and then the card once I'd had the jab. Has name, vac name and batch no. No second date butvwas told I'd be invited again via same method (text service). He could possibly have not got a card or maybe lost it and doesn't want to say. But with his previous form I can see why you are wondering.

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