Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

I envy you. You can still sit and watch tv and drink coffee in peace. Enjoy it whilst it lasts.

63 replies

MoanyMonday · 15/03/2021 14:16

This nugget of advice is what a parent in my antenatal group has just told me when I mentioned my 15 month old cannnot walk yet. He's been cruising for about 8 months and crawling since he was 6 months old but because he cannot yet walk I'm apparently spending my days sitting on a sofa drinking coffee and watching netflix. I'm honestly baffled at what she thinks he is doing whilst I do these things.

So given that I'm clearly not knowledgeable on having a toddler who actually toddles am I being unreasonable and woefully naive? I was actually hoping my life would be much easier when he can finally walk. Is it really a million times harder having a walker compared to a child who can crawl at the speed of light, navigate the stairs and competently climb onto and then launch himself off a sofa.

Also any advice as I have clearly been parenting my non walker wrong all this time. What is this magic trick I'm missing for keeping him in one place as I have shows to catch up on and I'd blooming love to not have to wait until he's napping to enjoy a cuppa.

OP posts:

IslaRoseGraceEtc · 15/03/2021 14:19

My ds was so frustrated at not being able to walk, he whinge constantly. Life was a lot easier once he could (once we'd toddler proofed up to 2ft high)

Some people always have to know better and always have to have it harder than you!

Ginuwine · 15/03/2021 14:27

It sounds like one of those bonding-moaney things some people say to try and connect, like "be careful what you wish for" kind of stuff.

I wouldn't read too much into it

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/03/2021 14:30

I wouldn't read too much into it
This. It's just (mainly sleep deprived) people making random conversation.

Wingingit15 · 15/03/2021 14:30

@Ginuwine

It sounds like one of those bonding-moaney things some people say to try and connect, like "be careful what you wish for" kind of stuff.

I wouldn't read too much into it

This, yes. She was probably just making small talk!!

BendingSpoons · 15/03/2021 14:32

My first walked at 15m, my second at 9m. I preferred early walking. He entertained himself more easily with his new found freedom! A baby who crawls and pulls to stand can find all the same fun items like plug sockets, glasses on a side table etc

PeteWicksSexyPirate · 15/03/2021 14:33

Sounds like the other parent was trying to be nice, not put you down

LittleLionMan23 · 15/03/2021 14:34

My DS was the same, crawling at 6m and cruising at about 9m but didn't walk til he was 16m.

I got people saying the same thing to me, to enjoy it while it lasted but I was desperate for him to walk! He was so frustrated and full of pent-up energy all of the time, and didn't have enough of an outlet for it so was really miserable. As soon as he started walking, he was much happier.

Sciurus83 · 15/03/2021 14:34

I think you're looking for offence where none was meant. 15 months is on the later end for walking, she probably didn't want to say that and was trying to say something positive without comparing milestones between kids which is a horrible minefield especially in antenatal groups with kids around the same age. Sounds like it came out awkward, is she generally a judgy type or did she just get this one a bit wrong?

Sansaplans · 15/03/2021 14:35

I think every stage is challenging in different ways to be honest. Being able to walk usually also brings being able to climb, and it's definitely more of a challenge ensuring rooms are somewhat toddler secure! But that said, once they have more experience you can pop out without always using the pram (although sometimes means carrying them back which is a pain!), and I found the frustration of not being able to walk led to DS being really unsettled and annoyed.

Beamur · 15/03/2021 14:38

You have a crawling ninja.
Toddlers are hugely stressful! I had a permanent backache from stooping and constant fear she was going to fall. Although she was so round she would have just rolled...
It's a smile and nod comment.

Chosennone · 15/03/2021 14:39

Thought this was going to be a thread about furloughed people being moaned at!

Don't take it to heart its probably going to happen any day now and probs won't make that much difference!?

Batinhernightdress · 15/03/2021 14:41

People honestly look at offence in everything. She was being kind, its so sad some people want to see the bad in everything, it must be an exhausting existence.

WhySoSensitive · 15/03/2021 14:43

I found it easier when DS started walking. He found it easier to go where he wanted and play with what he wanted. A couple of weeks navigating the uneven floor though!

Original poster

MoanyMonday · 15/03/2021 14:43

I hope she was just saying it as a passing comment, although tone is always hard to convey in writing and it was done by message not spoken. I'm still confused that she thought he doesn't actually move though and just stays in one place. As a PP said I can well believe he can absolutely get into as much mischief as a walker.

I think this is part of the problem. When you have a child who is slightly older literally everyone comments. It's probably stuck a cord as it feels like the only thing people comment on and like you I'm positive he eill6be a much happier child when he can actually walk.

15 months is on the later end for walking

From everything I've read it really doesn't seem to be that late although it does seem to be those who bum shuffle who walk slightly later than those who crawl. I'm pretty sure 15 months is still in the average category isn't it? She can be very opinionated but I generally ignore any boastful comments.

OP posts:

Pantheon · 15/03/2021 14:47

My dd was about 15 months when she started walking. I found it easier than the crawling/ cruising stage, especially when you go to parks and playgrounds.

Original poster

MoanyMonday · 15/03/2021 14:47

@Batinhernightdress

People honestly look at offence in everything. She was being kind, its so sad some people want to see the bad in everything, it must be an exhausting existence.

I'm honestly not trying to find offence but yes it's probably a sore point. Her child walking earlier than mine is down to nothing she did just as mine not walking isn't because of anything I've not done but it's honestly the only thing people seem to focus on when asking how he. I'm sure it's something many parents hace found when they have a child who is a little later to walk.

OP posts:

BlackBucketOfCheese · 15/03/2021 14:49

She sounds like one of those people who finds only victim-hood and (yet somehow) superiority in parenthood.

Iggly · 15/03/2021 14:49

I didn’t have a chance to enjoy a hot cup of tea until the kids were much older!

But once ds started walking, it was a nightmare because I had to quickly learn what needed baby proofing 😂

Crowsaregreat · 15/03/2021 14:54

When they first start walking, there's a difficult stage where they fall and hit themselves a lot and you have to be on guard. It's less stressful indoors when they can walk rather than pulling at things, you can also tire them out by chasing. It's more stressful being out and about if you have a bolter (legging it through playground gates etc).

I wouldn't read much into it though, she probably was making an off the cuff comment without thinking anything through. The overall message I would take is that she is tired of chasing her kid around. Once you're past each stage, it all becomes a blur so she just thought non-walking kid = quiet times.

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/03/2021 14:54

I cant help thinking that you are feeling far more about him not walking than you are letting on here. You seem to be giving her comments far more brain space than they deserve which suggests that they have hit a nerve. Unless there is back story with this person (sister? frenemy?) I would try and be more Anna.....

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/03/2021 14:57

@BlackBucketOfCheese

She sounds like one of those people who finds only victim-hood and (yet somehow) superiority in parenthood.

Based on that comment only?

Your post says more about you than this random woman making throwaway small talk at a playgroup! Op, you're over sensitive (you admit yourself that your child's non walking is a sore point) and seeing personal slights where there are none.

Loopyloututu2 · 15/03/2021 14:57

I think you are feeling a bit sensitive about to your ds not walking and projecting onto the other parent. It sounds like a silly throwaway comment and he/she was just making small talk.

UserTwice · 15/03/2021 14:57

DS didn't walk until 17 months and I found this "be grateful he's not walking" type comment incredibly grating. Because he was frustrated by not being able to walk, and that made him very hard work. He was 1000 times better once he actually could walk, and I never once wished that he couldn't.

BlackBucketOfCheese · 15/03/2021 15:02

Based on that comment only?

Nope based on the subsequent comments from the OP.
Also because I have known people like that, people who always find something to be hard done by and yet some how better at.

OP, your child is well within an average bracket.

Original poster

MoanyMonday · 15/03/2021 15:03

Maybe I am letting the comment get to metoo much although surely it goes without saying that even though he's not walking it's obvious that I don't have time get sit and drink coffee and watch tv as he's still an active 15 month old.

If I'm being honest I think she probably sees him as very behind because her child walked very early and as some have suggested this isn't the first comment she's made about my child or other children in the group. I'm normally so good at just letting it wash over me but yes todays comment has indeed struck a nerve.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3