Homebirth

[CP191989]

Have name changed as don’t want to be outing.
My MIL rang the other day fuming. Long story so will try and keep it short. Sister in law is having a baby she’s in a same sex relationship something MIL has always had issues with she says she has nothing against it but had dreams her only daughter would marry and have kids (the way MIL had)
Anyway they are expecting its fantastic but then they told MIL they are having a home birth. The issue my MIL is having is that they live in flats so according to her everyone will be able to hear they have told neighbours no one seems to have raised issues but MIL just won’t let it go. She’s calling them saying they are being unsafe things could go wrong (I can understand her worries but it’s not her choice) she then got worse saying it’s selfish on neighbours they won’t want to hear it it could go on for days. Now SIL has got upset and thinks it’s because she’s in a same sex relationship and said MiL has always made life hard for her because of this. They now aren’t talking. I just wanted to see what others honestly thought. Is it unreasonable to have a home birth in flats? I agree with SIL that her mother has always handle her sexuality badly.

Now MIL has us all running around!

Also sounds like you are now going to give sister in law advice based on you asking a crowd
of folks on here to advise you because MIL thinks SIL needs advice on something she has no doubt discussed with her own medical team and partner and is in fact the expert on as it is HER life!

Hmm MIL set the hares running didn’t she. She’s no don’t got further drama up her sleeve ...

Of course home births aren't going to have higher adverse outcomes, they don't advise at-risk women do it and anyone who had a difficult first birth is unlikely to go with it for subsequent.

@Pukkatea

Of course home births aren't going to have higher adverse outcomes, they don't advise at-risk women do it and anyone who had a difficult first birth is unlikely to go with it for subsequent.

Someone always says this on homebirth threads and of course the research accounts for this, by comparing women with the same risk profiles prior to labour. Did you really think that you thought of this but that the professional researchers and medical experts who produced the statistics didn't?!

I think it's a terrible idea and would be worried sick if I was her mum, but sounds like there's more to it, and it isn't her decision to risk assess, or to worry about the neighbours so YANBU.

@ShowMeHow I have no intention of sharing this with SIL as stated I have shared my concerns with her when she rang and talked about it with me and I 100% support her choice I would never ever ever want someone telling me what to do with my child my body and my birth so would never for someone else.
I only did this as I was interested to see what others thought and I’m glad I did as the links are really interesting because I’ve never understood why someone would choose a home birth so thank you for all taking the time to comment hopefully SIL will have a safe birth and I’m sure once the pregnancy is over SIL will sit down and sort out MIL😆

I had a home birth with my 3rd. Bloody loved it. Neughbours found it exciting too. 4th was supposed to be a home birth but baby got lazy and needed to be induced. That was 2 years ago and i was told first babies arent best to have at home. But thsy cant stop you. Just tell MIL to stop worrying about it amd they will do what is best when the time comes.

MIL needs to have a serious think about the sort of relationship she hopes to have with her grand child. If she causes problems now they are not going to forgive and forget and allow lots of visits and babysitting etc.

Apart from that, an hour or 2 of noisy birth is nothing compared to weeks of a baby screaming all night long. She is being ridiculous. It's SILs choice and I'm sure tha professionals are more than able to advise her on whether a home birth is a good idea in her particular situation.

Of course home births aren't going to have higher adverse outcomes, they don't advise at-risk women do it and anyone who had a difficult first birth is unlikely to go with it for subsequent.

Exactly. And about half of those intending to give birth at home end up transferred to hospital anyway. If it was risky it would not be advised. It's actually safer for low risk women. It's really more about how you feel about having to be transferred to hospital, possibly after the birth, lots of people need to go to theatre for stitches or placenta removal. I decided I'd rather just be there for the whole thing