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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change my 7 year old’s school?

106 replies

ThornAmongstRoses · 14/03/2021 16:18

AIBU to consider taking my 7 year out of his school and placing him in another purely because I think the other school is a better one for him?

Me and my husband have had some concerns about our son’s current school and despite raising them twice and being given reassurances by his teacher and HOY, nothing has changed.

There is another school nearby (though not as convenient as his current school) which has a fantastic reputation, I know there’s space in his year group if we were to transfer him, but the thought of taking him away from his friends is hard to make peace with.

Has anyone else moved their child in similar circumstances and it turned out ok?

Me and my husband just don’t know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Firefliess · 14/03/2021 16:25

I moved DD half way through year 3. We'd moved house when she was in reception which meant the journey to school had become longer and it was only at that time that a space became available for her in closer school. I wasn't unhappy with the first school, though there was one particularly duff teacher (who DS had had) in year 6 who I was quite keen to avoid. I sounded DD out about it before deciding and, perhaps surprisingly, she was quite up for the move. I'm not sure if I'd have done it if she'd been strongly oposed. The move went really well, she quickly made new friends (who lived closer to us, so easier for play dates) and kept up with a couple of her closest friends from the first school.

campion · 14/03/2021 16:39

We did exactly this and really regretted it. On paper and reputation the new school was better but the children had formed firm friendship groups in the Infant School and DS found it difficult to establish himself.

I think it partly depends on the child and how willing the new school is in helping them to get involved and feel welcome. If you've got a confident, positive child who makes friends easily then it'll probably be OK. If not,then leave things be.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 14/03/2021 16:40

My 8&9 yos will soon start their fourth school. The last time, when they were 6&8, was slightly tricky, but that was mainly due to DD1 having no school place for half a term. Once she started, had was reassured that the place wasn't going to disappear, she settled (and then Covid happened...).
With the upcoming move, they are a bit apprehensive but are on board with the long term plan of no more moving. They should hopefully move on to Secondary school with their friends as it's a fixed catchment area.

Maldives2006 · 14/03/2021 16:42

I think it all depends on your reasons for wanting to move him and is your son happy where he is, happiness really counts for a lot especially at the age of 7!!

GU24Mum · 14/03/2021 16:44

I wouldn't move a happy child unless I needed to (house move, serious irresolvable issue with school, etc). So I guess it depends what your concerns are and whether they'd fall into this category. If they didn't, I'd love him where he is. If they do, I'd look at the move.

Original poster
ThornAmongstRoses · 14/03/2021 17:06

The problem is that he is so bored. The work is too easy for him, they don’t give him anything to challenge him and he spends a lot of his day just reading books because he’s already finished the work they gave him to do.

We have spoken to his teacher twice about it and asked that she gives him some work that is more appropriate for him, but nothing has changed.

A few weeks ago they got a worksheet sent home that asked:

Which of these nouns goes bark?

A) a boy
B) a car
C) a dog
D) a house.

Most 12 month olds know that a dog goes bark and a house doesn’t. I genuinely can’t believe that’s the level of work they set for a 7 year old.

That’s just one example of an ongoing problem.

We do a lot of work with him at home to keep him stimulated as he absolutely loves learning, but that doesn’t stop him being bored at school.

OP posts:
HotPenguin · 14/03/2021 17:14

Assuming you are in the UK and your school has just restarted after lockdown, now isn't the right time to make the decision. The school are trying to ease the kids in gently and figure out where they all are. You can't judge it based on the work they have been given the first week back.

Original poster
ThornAmongstRoses · 14/03/2021 17:40

This has been going on for a few months now, I would way we first raised it last October at his parents evening, and again about 2 months ago when the home school work was just too easy for him and we asked for something more challenging for him.

Maybe I’m just expecting too much but I always assumed schools ensured they catered for everyone’s different abilities.

It’s got to the point now where he’s kicking up a big of a fuss each morning about going to school as he says it’s too boring and it’s pointless.

The teachers have had such a hard time so I don’t want to start harassing his teacher again, they’ve got enough in their plate, but she knows how we feel and I don’t know how long to let it go on for.

I want him to be challenged and enjoy learning and enjoy school, not be moaning about how bored he is all the time.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 14/03/2021 17:41

What school year?

Jumpers268 · 14/03/2021 17:44

I have the same problem at my son's school (he's 6). This week they learnt how to count to 20. He knows his prime numbers to 100. He finds the school work incredibly boring but I just try to challenge him at home. I, personally, have no intention of changing primary school as he's made firm friends and I think he would struggle to do that at a new school and I don't think it's worth the risk.

Tal45 · 14/03/2021 17:55

How does he feel about moving?

Whatiswrongwithmykid · 14/03/2021 18:00

I personally feel like the last thing kids need right now is upheaval after a year of lockdowns. Unless there’s a really good reason of course.

Original poster
ThornAmongstRoses · 14/03/2021 18:01

He’s in Year 2.

Last November he was being sent home with work on the 5 and 10 times tables......he was doing that at the start of Year 1 so I had no idea why they were still doing it twelve months later. I didn’t even get him to do the work because it was a waste of everyone’s time.

Like I said, I just don’t know how long to let it go on for. I don’t want him at a school that doesn’t try to challenge and push the children or try to stimulate them to learn.

And I think that the younger the child is the easier it is for them to make a change.

My husband is a teacher and he feels far more strongly about the issue than I do, but it still bothers me.

It seems that he’s given some work that takes him 5-10 minutes then he just gets a book shoved at him and is told to read it whilst the teacher and TA focus on the other children. Surely he shouldn’t be being excluded from learning like this?

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 14/03/2021 18:05

I have a feeling that state education whatever the school may not give you want you need - the curriculum change and the way things are taught doesnt allow for as much movement and it is really down to individual teachers.

If you were to move I think the private sector may well be more for you.

DD now year 7 mentioned today how boring she found years 5 and 6 for that reason and is now really enjoying learning. But she loved her Primary School and the friends she made so staying def suited her

Firefliess · 14/03/2021 18:05

@Whatiswrongwithmykid

I personally feel like the last thing kids need right now is upheaval after a year of lockdowns. Unless there’s a really good reason of course.
I'm not sure. Socially there's bound to be quite a bit of shuffling round of friendship groups as they go back after what's quite a long break for young children. And academically they're bound to have had different home learning experiences, so there will likely be a bit of consolidation of existing learning and teachers having to cope with kids at different places, so maybe not a bad time to go in as new.

I would talk to your DS OP. If he's not happy at school he might be quite up for a change.

Jumpers268 · 14/03/2021 18:06

My son said they're re-learning things they've already learnt. I think it's because a lot didn't get home schooled (no judgement at all). How sure are you that the other school will challenge him? Is it a teacher issue or a school issue?

Secretroses · 14/03/2021 18:08

From what you have said, I would strongly consider moving him I think... It might be hard for him to resettle in a new school, but it sounds like they are just not good at stretching the more able pupils... Has this been picked up in the most recent ofsted report?

Rollmopsrule · 14/03/2021 18:08

I wouldn't move him for the reasons your giving. He's 7 - friends count for alot. My kids went to an excellent school on paper - very academic. Unfortunately DDs class had some awful kids in and we had quite a few issues. I think if your child is happy and settled in his class leave him there and keep working with the school to provide more challenging work for him.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2021 18:12

You're going to find exactly the same as the next school. So I wouldn't move him. At 7, the difference in abilities is HUGE. . In a class of 30, 10 will be like your son, 10 will be where the work is aimed at, 10 will be way below and using any spare resource the school has. If you're in the 'top' 10, IMO let your dc enjoy the easy ride of primary and gather confidence.

Bunnybigears · 14/03/2021 18:17

So you first raised this issue in the middle of a pandemic and all the upheaval that has caused to schooling and have raised it twice so the second time must also have been during the pandemic. I'm not suprised the teacher hasn't managed to do much about it. Theh will be busy setting work to see where everyone is, identify those who have fallen behind etc. Reading books never hurt anyone, if he was told to watch TV when he finished the work I would be worried, being told to read a book is a great way for him to learn more without even realising it. Can he take a non fiction book he is interested in to read when he has finished his work?

KatharinaRosalie · 14/03/2021 18:19

We did it last year, I was also agonizing over the decision, especially as DC1 is a sensitive one and had formed decent friendships in his old school, and DC2 flat out told us she was fine and didn't want to go.

But it's been brilliant, they found new friends instantly and the school is just so much better fit for both (one needing some additional support and one needing extra challenges like your son). I was the child who was bored to tears at school and that's honestly no fun, it's not relaxing and enjoyable, it's boring and tedious.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2021 18:23

@Bunnybigears raises a good point. We've been in lockdown for nearly a year, many kids have had NO home schooling. They were the ones that were behind anyway. No school, not the current one nor the other one, are going to prioritise the kids who are ahead right now. And rightly so. Let him read, it's good for him.

Italiandreams · 14/03/2021 18:24

Counting in 5’s is year one, multiplication and division linked to 5 times table is year 2 so can’t comment without seeing work but the school does seem to be following the national curriculum. Was the other task reading and grammar based, if so not age inappropriate because I don’t know many 12 month old that would know what a noun was or be able to decide that text. But I can’t comment properly without seeing the work and objective.

Original poster
ThornAmongstRoses · 14/03/2021 18:35

because I don’t know many 12 month old that would know what a noun was or be able to decide that text. But I can’t comment properly without seeing the work and objective.

I would imagine that if you held up a picture of a dog and a picture of a house and asked a 1 year old which one barks, they’d probably know. Hopefully so anyway Grin

When I first spoke to the teacher the schooling was going on as normal. All children had been back in school for quite some time by that point.

I don’t mind him reading, but spending 90% of every lesson reading a book isn’t exactly fun for him. He’s the top reader in his class and he’s now coming home with books that he’s already read and being told to read them to me again. I have asked them for harder books but they say the next stage books aren’t age appropriate.

Since that we have started sending his own books into school with him which is all well and good, but if he’s just being ignored in class and told to read then he may as well do that at home.

I get that the lower ability children shouldn’t be ignored, but nor should the higher ability children either.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2021 18:42

You're right, they shouldn't be; but they are. For your situation, I would be very surprised if the other school wasn't the same.
Our, fabulous, primary has a choice - use the TA to stretch the 5 yr old who's reading Harry Potter, or to help the 5yr old who can't spell his name yet. If they don't help the latter, that child falls further and further behind.