To change my 7 year old’s school?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

AIBU to consider taking my 7 year out of his school and placing him in another purely because I think the other school is a better one for him?

Me and my husband have had some concerns about our son’s current school and despite raising them twice and being given reassurances by his teacher and HOY, nothing has changed.

There is another school nearby (though not as convenient as his current school) which has a fantastic reputation, I know there’s space in his year group if we were to transfer him, but the thought of taking him away from his friends is hard to make peace with.

Has anyone else moved their child in similar circumstances and it turned out ok?

Me and my husband just don’t know what to do for the best.

No they shouldnt but it is a fault of the system.

I watched an interview on This Morning with William Carter who was dyslexic (and now doing a PHD) and he said he found secondary incredibly hard because of his dyslexia but because he managed to get at least 5 Cs (which is the requirement) he was left alone.

And there just isnt the funding as the PP said at the moment the time and effort goes on bringing those who need it up.

Moving to the other state school isnt going to get you what you want I think because they will still be tied to the curriculum and asked to report on the same results.

Also schooling hasnt been "normal" for a year - what was around last September wasnt normal schooling at all and the rules and procedures in place have changed quite a bit in terms of what they can do as well that I think you possibly arent taking into account either
As I have said I dont think you are going to find what you want in the state sector

I think many state primary schools will be like this - they get no credit for children who are above the agreed standards for the year groups but get criticised for having children who are not reaching them. So of course the resources have to go to help children reach the set standard.
The problem is that some children may get into coasting if the work is too easy - you have been home schooling for the past year how about continuing the job - send to school for the friends but continue to home educate.

My parents moved me at 7. I was so happy and settled at the school I was at and the move was awful for me. Trying to make friendships in a class with already well established dynamics wasn’t easy and the culture of the school was very different to what I was used to. My own experience would make me say if he’s happy, leave him there. Especially as what you’re describing will go on in most state schools. But you know your son best, wishing you all you need to come to the right decision for him x

We moved ours aged 6.
A year on, it's the best thing we could have done.

I didn’t even get him to do the work because it was a waste of everyone’s time

Tbh op I think this comment is very telling.

If the work is so simple for him why not just do it in 5 minutes? Homework, imo, teaches all kinds of skills and habits that extends beyond what the actual work is.

Your child will have the same attitude to education that you so. If he's reading your attitude of 'it's boring, it's too easy, it's pointless' correctly then that will be influencing him too.

Ds2 is way ahead in maths. He gets different work set in school but occasionally the odd standard worksheet slips through which is far too easy for him and he still does it - because the attitude instilled is important.

Have you actually approached the school to ask why the work he's given is too easy? Maybe it's not quite as easy for him as you think and they have a very good reason for it.

The maths worksheets and standard reading level books are a small part of what they experience, do and learn in Year 2 so unless the school is severely under performing in all areas, your son is not stuck in a corner reading alone for 80 % of the day.

What about the project work they do, the geography, history etc - is it all too easy? Have you asked?

Focusing only on reading levels and the difficulty of maths worksheets is a poor measure for you to assess the worth of the whole school. I'd have imagined your dh would be more attuned to that as a teacher.

But was the purpose of the exercise to know that dogs bark or to know what a noun was? Two different things, did he had to read the question independently. I’m not saying work couldn’t be differentiated better, I couldn’t possibly comment but the work possibly not as low level as you are making out. It sounds appropriate for a year two but maybe your child needs more of a push. That could be a deeper understanding, or problem solving, appalling learning to new situations etc

Currently most schools are trying to work out gaps which is difficult as all children have a difficult experience.

We home schooled for the first lockdown, between last March to May I think it was as my husband was furloughed, but he’s been in school this lockdown as my husband has had to work through this one and I’m at work too (both key workers).

When we home schooled last year, when he was in Year 1, we did all our own work with him which we sent in to the teachers which she was happy with. She said it was at an age ability much higher than she’d expect (maths and english) and that she’d pass that information on when he moves into Year 2 to ensure he was given work that was a standard more appropriate for him.

So when he started Year 2 we did think he’d be set more challenging work, and it was only after 6 weeks of simple work that we first addressed it with his teacher. She acknowledged our son was bright and that he didn’t struggle with anything and was ahead of the other children so she would ensure he was set work to do that would challenge him and help build on his skills/knowledge, but it didn’t materialise.

So we mentioned it again a few months ago when he was still doing easier work in class and she said that as the majority of children were being homeschooled she couldn’t set anything different for my son as they all had to be doing the same work.

Now the whole school is back I said to my DH we should just give it until half term whilst things normalise a little and his teacher can find her footing again in terms of what stage everyone is at etc, and then ask again about having some harder work set for my son.

My husband isn’t being quite so understanding though and thinks the school are really failing our son and that it’s a teachers job to accommodate to everyone’s ability, not just focus on one group of children and ignore the needs of the others

Like I said though, he’s a teacher so is looking at it from a different angle than me. I’m viewing it from the angle of a parent whilst he’s viewing it through his professional eyes.

Applying new skills even!

Moved my dd age 6 str8 after Xmas. Best thing we did

Your husband teaches comp? In primary they are all in the same class so it's very different. If you wanna move him I would just move him. X

The question was just a fun way to introduce what a noun is.

I would try to work out why he is starting to refuse school and would be very wary of assuming it's because he is bored.

Also, the problem is the range of needs across a class, which are very wide ranging. I have three sons, one of whom finds school a doddle and the youngest who is like your son in yr 2 who is currently engaged in the struggle of his life to learn the basics.

Schools should concentrate on children like my youngest and just be glad that children like my eldest just glide through.

I would try and encourage your ds to ask his teacher for more work rather than just relying on it to come to him.

I moved a child mid year 2. Just before lockdown. Similar reasons.

It was a rollercoaster of wondering if I did the right thing. Then we entered lockdown #1.

It was tough but a year on child is much more settled and likes classmates. Doesn't have a main friend as such but gets on with everyone really well. Both sexes.

I'd say you sound like your mind is made up.

I would say new school isn't much more challenging though.... despite many discussions.

It's hard to ask this if the busy teachers without sounding like a boasting pushing parent.

Could you consider private ?

Sorry one more thing.

The parent dynamics are much more set than the kids. The parents in child's class are soooo cliquey and established I've given up even smiling to them.

But that's not why I moved the child.

But was the purpose of the exercise to know that dogs bark or to know what a noun was?

If the purpose was to know what a noun is you’d imagine they’d have a list of words and ask the children to highlight which of them are nouns.

Instead they were asked which noun barked and they were given 4 options. Even if the kids had no idea what a noun was they’d still all circle the dog because most 7 year olds know that a dog barks and a house doesn’t.

Just to clarify - it’s purely his maths and English that we have the issue with. All the other lessons he does are completely age/ability correct for him and he enjoys them and learns from them.

We did initially get him to do his worksheets based on the 2, 5 and 10 times tables etc but he’d answer all 20 questions in about 30 seconds even with one eye on the TV. It was pointless because he wasn’t learning anything from it. He didn’t even have to think......it’s like the equivalent of someone asking an adult, “what’s 2+2?” - you just know it and the answer comes to you without any thought required at all.

His math skills are amazing, which his teacher knows, so I don’t even understand why she’s sending home work asking him to answer questions on his 5 times tables. She knows he knows it.

It just annoys us (my husband much more so) that he’s being set work that serves no purpose. We want him to be challenged and supported to improve further, not just be brushed off with homework that his teachers know he can do rather than giving him sums on his 6,7,8,9 times tables for example which is something he would learn from and actually have to think about his answers.

Like I said, I’m happy to leave it until half term before addressing it again, if not until the start of the next term really whilst the teachers figure everything out, but my husband isn’t quite so laid back about it.

You need to move him to a private school

Stretching and challenging high ability students is far harder than supporting lowers. Also - how do you know that he is doing work in class for 5 minutes and then reading for the entire rest of what is, presumably, at least half an hour? Is he just telling you this or has the teacher told you?

Not being funny that noun homework is shit but I really, really would not be taking my child out of school for an issue which I imagine is kind of dependent on the teacher you have.

My colleague has a child in her class working at year 7 level. The issue is, with 29 other children most of whom have just got back from three months off, some of whom have behaviour needs, no TA... it’s not easy for her to sit and teach him an individual lesson. And if she was to give him work she didn’t have to teach him for him to understand then is it challenging him?

That said, it is poor practice to let a child be done with their work in five minutes and then read the entire time, if that’s what is happening. I wouldn’t do it, just trying to give an insight into how tricky it can be.

I think schools had to work very very hard in lockdown to make sure there was as little disparity as they could possibly achieve. It would have been very wrong of them to push him further when many of his classmates were at home with no chance or choice.

A class moves better together as a cohort if they're all on the same page. I'm surprised your dh doesn't understand this.

In lockdown, my own Dd was finishing the work set by 10am. On our WhatsApp group one of the other mums said 'shall I ask for more work, my dd is finishing it by 10am.' Another mum said 'please, please don't, I'm tearing my hair out to get ds to do this work' I think they had to dumb it down considerably this year, because it's impossible to move a class forward when they're all at such different points.

My husband teaches children aged 6 all the way through to 18 years old due to the nature of the school he works at.

My husband would love to send our son to private school but we just couldn’t afford it.

He doesn’t refuse to go to school...he just moans about it and complains that’s it too easy and that he finds it boring (maths and English only).

Otherwise he’s a happy little lad, really likes his teacher, has lots of friends and is just a typical 7 year old really.

It’s a good idea though to encourage my son to actually ask for more work once he’s finished his. It’s just so hard now as due to lockdown I can’t speak to the teacher face to face, she stays in the classroom and sends the children out when she sees their parent on the playground.

Just to be clear it really is shit practice if that’s what is happening and just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you don’t try. With regards to the homework some schools have a policy where you don’t send out differentiated homework (way more workload to tailor it to each child, parents can get funny etc) so maybe that’s it?

I really do think this could be an individual teacher issue, unless other parents feel the school has an issue with poor expectations. What does the Ofsted report say about their curriculum?

Also - how do you know that he is doing work in class for 5 minutes and then reading for the entire rest of what is, presumably, at least half an hour? Is he just telling you this or has the teacher told you?

She told me because I asked her about it. My son kept coming home from school telling me about all the books he’d read that day, so I just asked her how come he was spending so much time reading. She said that he finishes his work very quickly so she either asks him to go and help one of the other children with their work, or she will give him a book to read.

He’s always been bright and in Year 1 his teacher was really good at pushing him....she was allowing him to do work above the level that the other children were so we didn’t have any issues then.

Perhaps I am just going to have to put what’s happening down to the chaos of lockdown. I know the teachers have had a really crappy time and are doing the best I can, I really don’t doubt that, I guess I will just have to accept that my sons receiving the short end of the straw at the moment but hopefully things will be different by the time he moves into Year 3.

To be frank she could google some twinkl extension stuff on the maths topic.

It’s not really that hard to at least have SOMETHING to keep HA children busy even if it’s for an extra 5-10 minutes. High level, quality, effective challenging of HA pupils in every lesson is something that I think is really hard for even very experienced teachers, but I would get a bollocking if I was letting a child read that much in lesson time.

The helping other children I can see as being a way to solidify his understanding (and I use it at a push) but I don’t feel it should be a consistent strategy.

Regarding moving him though, I'd leave him where he is now and move him from September if you decide to. Y3 is a good time to start fresh, as is starting at the beginning of a year I think.