AIBU to want Mother’s Day to be a bit different from a normal Sunday??

[mumof2exhausted]

My boys are only young so I know I can’t expect a lot from them but can’t help being bit disappointed with husband. I basically got a lie in until 9am (but I was up in night as feeding newborn so this is necessary so I can function rather than a treat). Cards kids made in school which were lovely. Box of chocolates (that I don’t particularly like) from husband. And then that’s it. Husband went out on long run (he’s training for marathon ) come in shattered now and lying on sofa. I’ve made my own breakfast, the kids lunch, put a wash on and cleaned kitchen. Then I’ll start on Sunday dinner in a bit when my dad gets here.

It’s not a “leave the bastard “ post. He’s a good dad / partner etc it’s just I know he thinks Mother’s Day and the like are pointless. Are other mummies being pampered today?? Am I being unreasonable for expecting (hoping) for just one day of me being looked after?

I got nothing. Not a handmade card or even a mother's day greeting. It's ok to be sad. I am.

Also, I always remember mother's Day for my mum and it's because my dad taught me it was the right thing to do even from being very young. I'm sorry it was a disappointment for you too. Be good to yourself.

Is he usually good? Lockdown has made every day Groundhog Day - I’d forgive him if he’s usually good.

If he’s not, and he never makes the effort that you’d like him to for Mother’s Day, it’s worth having a chat with him.

Nothing for me either. DS are 10 and 2 so not really expecting much from them, although I did remind them several times over last few days. It's mostly my DH I'm annoyed with. Same thing happened last year. We're not really into these special days so I don't know why I'm so upset but I always do something, even if it's small, for Father's day.

I got breakfast in bed. Last week I got a card made at nursery. That's it. I'm doing school work as usual, just gave DS his lunch as usual. No different really except the breakfast.

What happens if you say: “I’m not cooking Sunday dinner today, I’m having the day off as it’s Mother’s Day”. ?

I understand your point of view but I do think it's hard in lockdown. I had a lovely present but all we can really do is go for a walk and have a curry later!

Sorry OP - I have read other threads today & a few Mums seem to be having rubbish days or not very special. DD12 is adopted & used to go to a lot of trouble but the last couple of years, I haven’t even had a card & DH got nothing on Father's Day either 😢 I’m trying not to let it bother me but it does a bit. And I do think your DH could have at least bought chocolates you like! It’s not much to ask.

Well... nothing will change unless you do something about it. Your DH had the morning off to do his run while you did the housework... so I guess you have this afternoon off to do what you want while he does the housework (incl dinner)?

Guess it's about expectations. I told kids and dh I wanted breakfast made - they did but then dh often makes it on a sunday. Kids - that handyman cards would be lovely. Iv just made them all lunch and dh is making dinner (which he usually.does on a sunday).

If it's any consolation that's what all my mother's days are like.

YABU. It's a ridiculous made up day to profit card and gift companies.
You should not need a special day to make you feel appreciated
You shouldn't need gifts and cards to feel appreciated.

I don't think there's anything wrong with saying what you need. If you'd like a bit of a fuss, then tell DH that. People aren't mind-readers, especially if it's not an important day for them.

Alternatively, when it comes to fathers day in June. Don't make a fuss of him either.

I don't know what you really mean by being "pampered". To me that means sitting on a comfy chair while someone gives you a foot rub and feeds you grapes or something.
I've told DH I'm not changing any nappies today and we are getting a takeaway so I don't have to cook, but I don't expect to be waited on hand and foot because we have two young children and that's just not realistic.

I was talking about mothers day last night with OH. He looked quite sheepish when he said he'd not gotten me anything, that when I had previously reminded him, he thought it was to make sure he sent something to his own mother. And then he got defensive and said it was up to the kids (aged 10 & 13) to do something. And obviously this morning the kids didn't have a clue. Anyhow on my 'suggestion', OH has made lunch and washed up. Kids have been guilt tripped into making me a card, and I'll be f*cked if I remind them when fathers day comes around.

I’ve had two nice cards from my baby and toddler and a thank you card from my partner, all organised by him obviously. Some flowers, a present and my choice of breakfast and lunch. I feel like that’s normal. We’re not really present people and don’t really make a fuss, but it’s important to teach our boys to show appreciation. We want them to get into the spirit of things in life. I’ve been up since 6 and I’ve still put the washing on and helped clean the kitchen, but the general
vibe is that I’m to have an easier day of it than usual.

We're wallpapering DS' room today. At my request!

The weather is crap and I'd usually be digging the allotment on a Sunday, but chose not to get wet today (I don't always mind as I have full waterproofs!), so it's a step up from normal, I suppose! 😂

I’m home alone with 3 kids while my husband is on 12 hour shift. I had some hand made cards and truffles. Iv got a splitting migraine, I’m hungry and my youngest has been up since 5. I’m so tired and fed up today. My son (11) has been so loving though. My daughter (13) has been horrible all day.

I’m in 2 minds on this one really. On the one hand Mother’s Day is bull**## really - commercial made up thing. But on the other hand you still want it recognised. I got a nice photo card and a bottle of champers but our kids are 2 and 6 months, I’m on mat leave and my husband works full time so I don’t expect not to do usual things with the kids as that isn’t realistic. Also I’m making tea as MIL who usually does Sunday tea said she needed a day off today so it’s nice she gets a break too. She got cards from everyone and a bottle of bubbles.

I would have told DH that he’s cooking the food and you’re heading out for a solo walk.

Mums please let your dh know what is important to you. Don't feel sad or blame them for not automatically knowing. Yes, some men are not loving and caring but many are.

I got a card, a book and some chocolates.
Dcs gave me hugs, we all had a big breakfast together where we split tasks and now it’s a normal day. I’ve done laundry and cleaning, dcs doing homework, playing on gadgets and watching football later with dh who is also doing chores and set up the dinner which will need to be put in the oven later.
No pampering but just a reasonably nice Sunday.

Imo opinion men need a little reminder and a few pointers as to what you'd like. Reading a few threads on here, it seems that a lot of mums have expectations in their head of what they'd like and how they'd like the day to go, and they expect their DH / partner to be a mind reader. Don't get me wrong some men are thoughtless twats (as are some women!) but I really do think communication is key. This year I told DH I didn't want to cook Sunday lunch and I wanted my DC to have an idea of what the day is about, appreciating their mum. That's what's happened, I got a few token very small gifts (chosen by my DC) and my handmade cards and it's all been very chilled. It's been my best yet because I TALKED to DH!

I think wanting to be pampered all day is ott especially with young children.

DH hasn't even acknowledged its Mother's Day. I did get a handmade card from DS that he made at nursery but obviously he's too young to know what Mother's Day is all about. We don't usually do hallmark celebration days and this is just continuing in the same vein so I don't know why I'm so sad about it but I have taken myself upstairs and had a bit of a cry.
I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself now, but if he asks me what's for dinner later we will have words!