AIBU to want Mother’s Day to be a bit different from a normal Sunday??

[mumof2exhausted]

My boys are only young so I know I can’t expect a lot from them but can’t help being bit disappointed with husband. I basically got a lie in until 9am (but I was up in night as feeding newborn so this is necessary so I can function rather than a treat). Cards kids made in school which were lovely. Box of chocolates (that I don’t particularly like) from husband. And then that’s it. Husband went out on long run (he’s training for marathon ) come in shattered now and lying on sofa. I’ve made my own breakfast, the kids lunch, put a wash on and cleaned kitchen. Then I’ll start on Sunday dinner in a bit when my dad gets here.

It’s not a “leave the bastard “ post. He’s a good dad / partner etc it’s just I know he thinks Mother’s Day and the like are pointless. Are other mummies being pampered today?? Am I being unreasonable for expecting (hoping) for just one day of me being looked after?

Also think I was doubly emotional as it’s first Mother’s Day without my mum as she passed away last year. He’s also said sorry for not thinking about that. All good now - hope those of you who aren’t having a great day manage to make it better

Had gifts from DD8 and toast and coffee in bed

Did some exercise then picked up and lunch to take to my own mums. I've given her money flowers chocs & giant balloon.

Also sent flowers & wine to MIL x2

Will not be amused if I have to make dinner tonight.

@mumof2exhausted

Thanks all! Good to see I’m not alone! Had a chat with husband and explained that whilst I love being a mum it is relentless and with little ones often thankless. He has said sorry for not making more effort, I am officially off duty for the rest of the day. I’m about to have a bath and read my book, then have a nap then a takeaway for dinner with a glass of wine. Genuinely excited.

life is so much easier when you actually TALK with your partner and don't expect him to be a mind reader.

Enjoy your day!

It’s your day, make it special. Order or pick up your own flowers (single carnation if money is tight) and a special treat, cake to share. Let it be known to all who know you it’s a simple special day.
Don’t wait for others to make it happen.

Think the message of thanks has been lost and mother's Day for most is a cause of frustration and disappointment. I think it of a day for children to get excited and make plans to suprise mother. Think it gone bit OTT commercial and men spoiling the mother of children.
I'm trying to be bit nicer to myself today and take it easy. Prepared meals, uniforms ready for tomorrow but I'm not going to do any unnecessary house work. I'll just sit watch TV colour play with children.

I'm a lone parent so not much pampering but my wider family do think ahead to make sure my day doesnt go unnoticed. So I get a little gift and card which is lovely.

Back when I had a partner I was disappointed at the lack of care for mothers day. To me it would have shown a little appreciation for the many many things I do. A simple gesture like making a drink for me, or even cancelling the run and taking kids out for a bit of peace would make all the difference.

However I think a lot of partners dont get that it's a chance to show this. They think it's some commercial event that you do cos you have to. It's a shame.

So YANBU.

You're neither reasonable or unreasonable, and neither is DH.

He doesn't buy into these days, you want to be pampered. At least you've talked about it now and he knows moving forward.

For what it's worth both DH and I are similar to your husband. Mother's day and Father's Day aren't big things in our house either and neither of us has a day off or pampering. It's a card here and otherwise it's a normal day here.

Hardly different here, except I have the day off work. I’m the only woman at work with children under 18 that works Sundays and my boss said I deserved a lie in. I got given cards hastily made this morning by my eldest two. Don’t really expect anything else, as I’ve never received anything else. Irks though that DH contributed to £100 hamper for his mum that his sister organised. I’ve cooked Sunday lunch else it would be heated food from the freezer. DH has been fairly ‘present’ most of the day, which makes a change, as he’s usually holed up in his office when I have a day off.

DD (15) did get me nice stuff but I would have preferred a hug (without me practically begging) and doing things without me nagging / asking like making me a cup of tea or clearing her floordrobe I feel ungrateful writing that though!

This year, because of lockdown you couldn't go out. But from now on, book a day out for yourself that you'll enjoy. Tell your DH you want him to make brunch, then you are off to your lunch with friends/swimming/spa/facial whatever you enjoy.

DP gave me a card, wine and chocolates on behalf of DC (age 5 and 1). This afternoon he's gone to deliver a card, wine and chocolates to his DM and they are having a social distanced walk together. DC and I are watching a movie and I'm letting them have some chocolate they have left from Christmas as it's a special day.

I have made breakfast, emptied the dishwasher and made lunch. I will also make dinner but all other household tasks are not being done today by me as it's Mother's Day.

I can't complain as I don't organise anything for him on Father's Day (except a gift and a card, same as he gets me).

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby So sorry for your loss 💐

My sunday sounds very much like yours although I was up at 630 with my dds. I got hand made cards and a box of chocolates to, and I was bloody delighted. Lamb is in the oven and we're all chilling right now after a walk. Everyone's expectations are different but to me this is perfect

Feeling a bit disappointed here too. My DC are both adults, one living at home and one not. DD1 was supposed to get me something from the two of them but didn’t go shopping until last night and apparently there were no flowers left, only one type of chocolates and no suitable cards!
However, she didn’t get up to give me the hastily made card and chocs until after midday. DD2 rang me in the morning but obviously I hadn’t had anything to thank her for at that stage.
I’m not expecting a huge fuss or pampering, but I do find it odd that they know I have sent flowers to my DM and MIL, and in previous years we have always gone to visit them with a gift, so why do they not plan ahead a little bit for me? As I am typing this, I realise that it’s DD1 who has let the side down and I shouldn’t feel disappointed with DD2.

@SittingontheSidelines thank you. The day was made a bit more bearable by a surprise visit from my OH. He's a Truck driver, he lives near to where his Depot is so I don't see much of him, but his last delivery just happened to be where I live. I honestly thought he'd forgotten it was Mother's Day cos he never said anything whilst we were talking on the phone but as soon as he gave me a cuddle he wished me a happy Mother's Day and told me that even though our Baby isn't here with us I am a Mum and to never let anyone take that away from me. I may have welled up rather a lot

To be honest, while I understand your feeling, it is no reflection really on your man, or on his feelings for you. It feels like there an increasing number of ‘manufactured’ days that need observing - Valentines Day, Mother’s Day - I see a move towards Grandparent Day now. This on top of finding gifts that matter for Christmas, Birthdays, Anniversaries...it can be too much for the more cynical chap to handle at times, so remembering the day at all and having chocolates to hand is not so bad?

Not a popular message I am sure :)