DP is still asleep. DC haven't even acknowledge that its mothers day.

[yellowbeaker]

I do so much for all of them. I am 11 weeks pg and shattered, its been a really rough few weeks for me with incredibly low iron levels and awful nausea/headaches/fatigue.
Last night the kids wanted to go get eggs and bacon etc for breakfast from the shop so I took them.

I woke up before everyone else so enjoyed some quiet time with a book. 3 hours later DP is still asleep and my 2 teens are just doing their own thing. No hugs, no cards, no breakfast in bed. (although DD has tidied her room which was rancid so I guess I should count my blessings!)

I am dressed. I feel like fucking off to my mums house with her gift on my own and leaving them to get on with it. I have never expected anything much, we have a rule in our house that gifts have to be home made or thoughtful gestures (like running me a bath, or dd gave me a foot massage a few years ago) I really appreciate stuff like that but it just feels like no one cares or can even be bothered to be nice. Facebook is filled with pics of everyone else being spoilt.

I just feel a bit hurt that DP couldn't set an alarm and rally the kids around to do something nice.

I am still pissed off about it, has made me realise what an utter doormat I am for all of them.

Didn’t cook last night because, ‘I didn’t have time’. Don’t think I will have time for the rest of the week come to think of it. They can’t have fish and chips every night can they!!!

@Workinghardeveryday glad you are finding your anger. If he won’t listen then I would leave him. You will be less stressed when you are not his skivvy.

@Workinghardeveryday

I am still pissed off about it, has made me realise what an utter doormat I am for all of them.

Didn’t cook last night because, ‘I didn’t have time’. Don’t think I will have time for the rest of the week come to think of it. They can’t have fish and chips every night can they!!!

We teach people how to treat us.

It really is true.

You are totally taken for granted.

You can't change them but boy can you change you.

Stop making meals every day.
Stop making nice meals when you do.
Stop doing any laundry except your own.
Any little jobs that benefit any of them. Stop.
Don't enter their bedrooms at all.
Make plans to be out for a couple of hours on a Saturday and sunday for a long walk or coffee with a friend.
Tell them to ask their father when they ask for anything.

When asked can you do a specific thing say "NO I'm tired", as your father.

Refuse lifts ANYWHERE.

You would be amazed how quickly they cotton on once they start here "No, it doesn't suit me to do that".

I have 4 good children and a great husband but that doesn't mean that at times I haven't felt a bit taken for granted.

I can honestly say they are in the horrors at me "downing tools" because I made it into an Art form.

When you down tools you really need to go all out.
What's for lunch? Dont know.
Where is X? No idea.
Can you help me with this. Nope.
Will you drop me to X? Not a hope.

Truthfully I only had to do this once because my eldest was giving me cheek and I had had enough from the pup.

Well he was a different boy after a few days and sincerely apologised.

He has sailed close to the sun a few times in the years since, but even a couple of hours of him getting a dose of Mother doing a 'work to rule' has him back on track.😁

You are doing far too much and they all sound like ungrateful pups.

You need to look hard at yourself as to why you have allowed it to get to this.

You work so hard, you deserve so much better.

The need a hard dose of reality.

You are failing them if you allow them to think it is ok to behave like this.

Let the word 'No' become your go to.
Channel that annoyance.😁

Hey OP I hope you had a nice day in the end. Did any surprises materialise?

I hope your day for better.
Teens!! 😀 give it a few more years and when they are more adult they will,hopefully be more considerate,your dp can't be blamed really.

@ billy1966 thank you for your post, you’re so right I know. I just give in after a couple of days. I see all the housework as my job. I am part time and he is out all day. At weekends he is tired, all he ever wants to do is watch telly! Even when it’s a lovely day he is more than happy sat watching telly.

I should just stop everything and let them fend for themselves, especially with no one coming into the house or doesn’t matter if it’s a tip!!

@Lacucuracha I felt like telling them all to F off last night, especially after dd15 called me a stupid cow!!!!! Was like a kick in the teeth. All because she had to wait for a lift after school because I was stuck in traffic, she could see my car, we were talking on the phone and she was whinging it was embarrassing standing waiting..?!! Called me a stupid cow and hung up!! She then got in the car and there was total silence. When we were getting out the car I said to her, ‘I might be a stupid cow but at least I am not a nasty bitch!’.

When we got home I told her she was bang out of order speaking to me like that. She then went on to tell me she hates all my cooking, doesn’t like warming teas like dumplings, shepherds pie etc. She would much prefer a salad! She only eats lettuce and cucumber. Guess what she is getting tonight 😊. No meat just lettuce and cucumber!!

What a Madam, sod the lettuce and cucumber, let her sort her own meals out then.

She is a right madam. I am hoping she grows out of it!!!

You’re right! I will tell her going forward she can sort her own meals out and clean the kitchen when she is finished 😊

My goodness. She wouldn't have been allowed into any car with me.
That is a truly dreadful way to speak to anyone.

Please have a good look at why you allow your child to speak like that to you.

Nasty is right. She is growing up to think that is acceptable.
Just awful.

There is no honour whatsoever in how you allow yourself to be treated.

@billy1966
You are so right. I don’t know why I didn’t. I think yesterday I was just so down I didn’t have it in myself to tell her there and then. I did consider drying away though, she could have easily walked home.

Just let her try it again, I am ready for her this time! I feel bullied by her and I have told her that before, she doesn’t care! I think she blames me that we don’t allow anyone in the house, that she didn’t see her boyfriend for months because I am CEV and shielding!! I have explained it’s actually the law and it’s not allowed. Her response is that everyone else is doing it!!

No excuse.

We haven't had anyone in this house in so long I actually can't remember.

I'm being honest with you, not harsh.

You are not the emotional punching bag of your daughter.

The expression "treat me badly once, shame on you, treat me badly twice, shame on me", is one to think about.

I love my children with every fibre of my being but I would go through them for a short cut if they spoke to me like that or name called me like that.

She sounds really awful.
She has gotten the message that it is ok to speaking to someone anyone like that.

What an appalling example to your younger children.

My eldest could give me a bit of lip, moztly because he was being asked to get off the ps4 or do study/piano etc.
I went zero tolerance on him because he had younger siblings and I wasn't having them thinking Mum will accept cheek.

She is a rude madam and you really should withdraw any and all services.

It is awful for you but it is awful for her that she thinks that is the way to speak to anyone, especially her mother.

You should tell her that until she apologises for how she spoke to you that she is not to ask you for another thing.

And as for cooking for her, let her eat beans and toast for a week.
Frankly I wouldn't care.
Sort her out or between her and the twins coming up behind her, you have at least a decade of this ahead of you.

Under ANY circumstances stof lifts indefinitely.
Let her ask her father🙄