DP is still asleep. DC haven't even acknowledge that its mothers day.

[yellowbeaker]

I do so much for all of them. I am 11 weeks pg and shattered, its been a really rough few weeks for me with incredibly low iron levels and awful nausea/headaches/fatigue.
Last night the kids wanted to go get eggs and bacon etc for breakfast from the shop so I took them.

I woke up before everyone else so enjoyed some quiet time with a book. 3 hours later DP is still asleep and my 2 teens are just doing their own thing. No hugs, no cards, no breakfast in bed. (although DD has tidied her room which was rancid so I guess I should count my blessings!)

I am dressed. I feel like fucking off to my mums house with her gift on my own and leaving them to get on with it. I have never expected anything much, we have a rule in our house that gifts have to be home made or thoughtful gestures (like running me a bath, or dd gave me a foot massage a few years ago) I really appreciate stuff like that but it just feels like no one cares or can even be bothered to be nice. Facebook is filled with pics of everyone else being spoilt.

I just feel a bit hurt that DP couldn't set an alarm and rally the kids around to do something nice.

Show the same type of engagement on father's day.

I should add that DP is usually wonderfully thoughtful. He is kind and brilliant with the kids. I just thought this year more than ever he would make a fuss of me because I have been so ill with being pg.

Like I say I am super hormonal so this is probably creating a mountain out of a mole hill. Just needed to vent

@justilou1

Go to your Mum’s. Don’t even say goodbye. Have a lovely time with her. Women are invisible in their families anyway.

Agree!! And also Facebook is all lies anyways.. take the day off of it!

Understand your disappointment. Dh and dd15 both forgot - or rather, they had known at some point then forgot to remember I'm not usually one to bother about this kind of thing but I am in the middle of cancer treatment and feeling pretty hurt - especially dd15 (dh is generally helpful - but she is not).

@Acinonyx2 I am so sorry you are going through Cancer treatment at the mo. Hopefully they will pull something out of the bag later for you. If not, be kind to yourself. You definitely deserve a lovely mothers day, even if you have to carve it out yourself

Same here. Although my DC are much younger (10 and 2) so not expecting much from them but I usually get my DC to wish my DH on Fathers day and then we'll make some cakes or something. I even gave them advance notice because the same thing happened last year. I think it's really shit of my DH to not bother. I'm not usually one for these special days (we don't do Valentines) but really feel it on Mother's day.

Well your rule lets them nicely off the hook
I’d be Changing that asap

Maybe stop the rules of what the gifts HAVE to be. Imagine being a teen and giving a foot massage to your parent ! They might not even be aware it’s Mother’s Day. Have you you spoken to them and your husband ??? Probably just like other posters where you say nothing and just assume

Tbh nowt exciting here. I did get a gift and a cup of tea (from husband) my 11 Yr old got up at 12 Nd wouldn't make me a cup of tea. Both kids whom are 6 and 11 are laid on bed watching ipads. DH has nodded of and here I am on mumsnet listening to alexa having been for a walk. Not exciting

Do they actually know it's Mother's Day. It's early this year and as most shops are shut there hasn't been the usual huge retail push.

Why are you allowing them to come with you?

They aren't planning something later are they as a surprise and pretending they have forgotten? If you have mentioned it in relation to your mum then I can't see how they haven't put 2 and 2 together. I did this for my mum once, pretended to have forgotten and then set up an afternoon tea. I know it wasnt the best thing now as she would have probably been more upset for the hours I pretended I had forgotten but teenagers aren't very logical. Anyway, I hope that's what they are doing and you get a nice day later.

OP,
That's appalling.

It doesn't help that your standards and expectations are on the floor.

Why are you saying that he's fantastic etc. when it was the same last year.

It is usually the father who will organise small children for mothers day.
My husband took them to the shop to buy my favourite chocolate bar and they made a card. Perfect.

As they became teens he gave them the heads up with date to organise themselves.

It is really poor from your teenage children.

I honestly do not understand standing by and allowing yourself to be so dismissed.

It wouldn't happen in this house with mine.

Christ if they didn't bother with mother's day they wouldn't know what hit them with my upset.
Most mother's put themselves out for their families a dozens times a day, I'll be damned if I'll pretend a small bit of acknowledgement isn't necessary.

Mother's teach their children consideration of others.

Mother's are human, so raising your children to think the person who usually does most for them every day just doesn't deserve a thank you is Class A bullshit and I won't entertain it.

I received one lovely homemade card with a personal message of thanks from each of them. They always give me loads of chocolates which they will help me eat.

I am happy with their effort. A small bit of thought is not too much to ask.

You deserve better OP, so does every mother.
It's about basic consideration.

Unless religious, Mother’s Day is just a day on the calendar

Mother's Day isn't a religious holiday, that's Christmas!

I'm so sorry @yellowbeaker Go to your mum's!

Happy Mother's Day!

Defmy there is way more religious 'holidays' than Christmas. I assume you have heard of Easter? Mothering Sunday (aka Mother's Day) is link within the dates for Easter. It's technically a Christian festival - although many people don't treat it that way (like they do with Easter and Xmas).

No it's not like Easter!! There is no corresponding event in the Bible

It's Mothering Sunday. It's always on a specific date in Lent and is meant to be about returning to your 'mother' church.
Just because it's not in the Bible doesn't mean it's not a Christian festival. It has links with the church.

@Defmy

Yeah, it's religious, and not much to do with mother's originally either.

Try not to get too annoyed. My dd1 is still in bed (yes we are on gmt!) at least dd2 texted me (at university, science based course) but I got over Mother's Day disappointment years ago

Tell them you are upset and next year remind your dc, people treat you how you let them, raise your expectations and demand better

Similar day here op, my ds was the only one to remember and I'm cooking the dinner myself. I'd go to your mums and not even announce you are leaving. Us mums need to be appreciated and unfortunately walking out and leave them to it often does the jobs. Let dh and kids get on with it and enjoy your time at your mums

OP,

Is this a new relationship?

Why are you putting yourself back into the babystage for a man who is so dismissive of you?

He certainly isn't thoughtful.

Why won't he 'allow' you tell your mother?
Surely it's YOUR business who you tell?

Awful op. Teens here too. Got box chocs. But not nice. Its nice to be thankful of their mother. Hope u feel ok.

Tell whomever you darned like OP this is Your body and Your news too 🌺