Wow. I'm really surprised by some of the responses on here. All the people saying "you need to put your daughter first"... I think you do, and I think you do it too much. Seriously, all the ridiculous people saying "you must put your daughter's whims above anything and everything you might want or need for yourself" are the reason why you feel guilty about leaving her alone, even though she's quite capable of handling herself.
You definitely should talk to her about her feelings, and make special plans one on one with her, as it seems it my help her and your relationship.
But you shouldn't let her dictate what you do and with whom, or pander to unreasonable demands. If she wants pasta she can make it herself, and she can clean up the pan afterward.
It may be a cry for help but what would really help her are structure and boundaries, not giving in to her. I think you need to leave her alone and go out. Have some time for yourself - with your boyfriend or anyone else, doesn't matter. If she pouts when you come home, let her get on with it. It won't harm her to realize you're a three-dimensional person with needs like anyone else. Would you consider counselling for your guilt ? With respect feeling such guilt that you can't leave your child on their own doesn't sound normal.
Can't believe the martyrs on here. I doubt they actually would take this kind of crap from their own kids. Yes, she's had a hard time, but so has everyone else. It's not a "get out of jail free" card for her to do whatever she wants and treat her mother like this.
And as for mother's day, who cares ? Some people celebrate it, some don't. You can do whatever you want on that day, it's not an important celebration like Christmas, and not observing it is not a court-martial offense.
Good luck OP. Hope you can sort it out. I'd also encourage your daughter to look for a job or give her more responsibility around the house.