AIBU not buying her a new ipad

[IssyKS]

DS11 threw a massive strop and smashed her ipad in temper. She is clumsy and has gone through a few ipads and phones but this was intentional. She only got it at Christmas so it's still pretty new. Damaged beyond repair. I didn't think she had the strength tbh.

I don't feel she should be rewarded with a new one but I'm conscious that's the only way kids have to stay in touch socially so it feels like a big punishment.
She doesn't really respect things so I'm thinking this may be a good learning opportunity and she could do some little jobs around the house to earn some money towards a secoond hand one. That still may take weeks though.

Any ideas on how you would deal with would be most welcome

thanks

Thanks for all the advice. I do try to add boundaries, in fact the whole incident was because screen time ran out. I asked her to come and chat to me about what additional time she needed. I was fine for facetime, but no more flipping roblox for a bit.

Lots of you have hit the nail on the head about not valuing herself and things. I think your advice about posting on the adoption boards is a good one. To be honest. It's absolutely lovely this weekend without screentime :-)

[quote RoseMartha]@IssyKS do you have a post adoption social worker assigned to your family? [/quote]
In the process of having one assigned, I think transition to high school coming up has triggered some behaviours. The school was assigned this week and whilst it's positive, it's also scary to move from somewhere

@NellietheNumpty

I think I would structure the discussion in a different way. Something like.. I can see you felt very angry when the iPad was smashed. That must have been really difficult for you. Would it help if you talked to me about that? I know a bit about this but would it be ok to talk to an expert and see if I can pick up tints on helping lovely children like you. The iPad is not important finding s way forward together is important.

that's really helpful. I'm trying to use it as an opportunity for learning

If you ask to have your thread moved to the adoption boards you’ll get much more relevant advice from some very experienced adopters. I adopted my DD at 6 and anger/self regulation is a huge challenge