AIBU to think DH's knobber friend parks like this deliberately?

[anxietyaunt]

He does this every time he pays us one of his glorious visits and I can't get into my own driveway. DH claims he doesn't do it deliberately. I call bullshit. I have attached a (badly-drawn) pic showing our street and the abundance of places he could park instead. There is a key at the top but basically he could park anywhere I have put a tick.*

*Some ticks may look aggressive and deformed.

He could just sit down on the loo to avoid creating a splash zone, no ? So it’s a choice.

Oh my goodness - a properly funny MN thread.

Well done OP and thanks for brightening up my afternoon

Love this thread. Both your first diagram and picture of thumb man are ace.

I’m sure it’s on purpose. It’s such an easy way to mark your territory/ piss people off whilst being very difficult to cal out. “Oh I’ll move if you need to go out” is an answer that is easy to give but misses the point! You don’t want to have to ask!

My exh has a tendency to park over the drive when he comes here, and now I think it’s deliberate too!

Not Wayne. Not Chris. I suspect there’s a Thumb Man in every town.

I would say, "Go & move your car now, there are places all down the fucking street, & don't park over my fucking drive again, what kind of idiot would block the drive when their are other options literally next to it?"

I find a very effective tactic in these situations is to say “can you move your car please?” And when he asks why or says no just say “no worries if you can’t manage it, Chuck us your keys and I’ll do it”. They either move it or you do. Everyone wins

Your thumb man drawing has slayed me !!!

Brilliant!

AND I think we all know one!!

As an aside, I agree with the previous poster that if he visits don't let him in til you've made him move your car and if you're out and can't get on the drive I'd aggressively honk my horn until all the neighbours are out looking and he has to do the walk of shame to move it.

Cock headed twat.

I meant don't let him in til he's moved HIS car.

@anxietyaunt

Okay, I don't want to get nasty. But I have to get this out. I call him knobber not just because he's a knob. He also looks like an actual knob. He's all one colour. Hairless. Featureless. Pale. Veiny, but otherwise non-descript. Like a giant thumb. Or maybe he's just morphed into that in my mind's eye because I loathe him so much and now that's all I see. Bloody Thumb Man.

Thank you OP, thank you! I burst out laughing at at this description especially "all one colour" for some reason. And your subsequent photograph illustration is superb.

This has cheered me up immensely and I didn't even need cheering up!

Obviously I have no solution to your problem.

Its made me laugh how much this has got to you, that you did I diagram. Which is a very good one😁 He sounds a total knobber, could you get some cones? Not helpful really but I feel your pain and it comes through in your post how aggravating this is. I already dont like him on your behalf, and I think I remember your previous posts . Hate it when people out stay their welcome, I've had it myself in the past

@NoParticularPattern

I find a very effective tactic in these situations is to say “can you move your car please?” And when he asks why or says no just say “no worries if you can’t manage it, Chuck us your keys and I’ll do it”. They either move it or you do. Everyone wins

Okay, I don't have a solution but "NoParticularPattern" most certainly does.

I hope you don’t clean up his urine? We had a neighbour like that. One night my parents threw a party...I was about 8, and went to the toilet to find it covered in wee. I walked back out, up to the neighbour and said you’ve peed all over the floor and need to clean it up. He never did it again.
I’d probably drop a few carpet tacks around his wheels next time he’s there

Oh my God you need to hide those pictures before your husband gets home
This man has got to you, he has to go

Write “Knobhead” on the t-shirt and “Stop parking across my driveway you Knobhead” and attach your picture on his windscreen with lots of sticky tape.

If you happen to be home, check the loo after he's been and if he's 'missed' the loo, call out "darling, nobhead has missed the loo again, please mop up his wee wee when you have a minute"

Your artwork is superb! Thumbs up for thumb-man 👍🏻

Love the diagram!! My brother used to have a mate like this, he was a complete wassock but it actually turned out he was bullying my bro quite a bit and the crap behaviour was “look what I can do in your house and you won’t even call me on it”. In the end he stood up for himself and the guy pissed off - DB is better at picking decent mates now!

your typical mid-life crisis sleek, heavily-tinted, got-a-small-penis-but-trying-to-make-up-for-it-with-my-hot-wheels wankmobile.

Love this - thanks OP I get your pain but this thread has cheered me up!

Agree with pp about offering to park his car for him. Make a big show of suggesting that he parks like a cunt because he’s a shit driver and offer to show him how to do it.

To knobhead: “You’ve parked like a twat again Steve. Move it now.” Every time, no further engagement. Better still if you can catch him at the door and shut it until he moves it.

To your DH: “Why are you ok with him repeatedly disrespecting us.” DH will bluster and say “he’s not, he doesn’t think blah blah”. Hold firm, point out he is an adult and has been told several times so clearly is doing it on purpose so why is DH ok with him disrespecting you both like that. Repeat until it bloody sinks in!!

< Wonders if there is any spy kids thumb merchandise on ebay >

ok noones said it yet and i know but i have to

why is your dh having mates round right now when we're not suppsed to

also-when he opens the door just say alright mate can u move the car anxietyaunt will be back soon

He’s a knobber alright. Lovely diagram.

@PoppityPop

Who the hell is voting YABU????

The parking cunt