To want to spend a couple of days in the body mind and brain of someone who is neurotypical?

[jincompoop]

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2019, but obviously I've always had it, I just didn't know what it was.
I spend so much of my time overwhelmed and stressed. Tasks that would take a NT person 10mins can take me 10 times longer.

Work is the hardest thing. I'm waiting for a coach through Access to Work but right now I'm just trying to stop myself from drowning.

It's just so weird. I look at my colleagues, and what they do / how they do it, and I don't understand. I just don't get how someone can organise themselves and multitask. How they can be flexible, take on something extra at the drop of a hat. And get as much done as they can in the time we've got.
I would absolutely love to swap brains for a day, just to see how it feels like to have those skills. How does it work?? Sitting here in my sofa I don't feel abnormal, or disabled. I don't look like there's anything wrong. But then when I try to function it all falls apart.

Ive tried three different types of meds, none have helped and increased by BP which is already high.

I'm exhausted.

I have ADHD too and have often thought about this. Would live to experience the mind of an NT abnd see what it's like in there! Pretty peaceful and ordered I reckon!

On the note of medication, have you tried guanfacine? I believe if I remember what my psych said correctly it lowers BP and heart rate? Might be worth looking into.

Yes Wikipedia says it's actually used to treat high BP....

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanfacine

Speaking as a NT person I’d like to be in your shoes for a day or two

It’s tough for us to understand how your brain works

Btw My son has adhd. I’d love to really ‘get’ it To be able to explain to friends family and school ‘

I’d also like to see how my severely autistic nephew sees the world. That would be fascinating- he sees the works around him very differently to nt people too

I'm on here because I've been trying to write a 1-page letter for 3 hours. I also need a shower, and to pick any of the 1202991290192 things that are everywhere up. I'm not physically incapable, but I just... can't.

I feel ya. It's hard work, especially when you know you COULD physically do something, but your brain is just like "nope". Exhausting.

I am NT; colleague is not. I thrive on last minute changes, juggling work, deadlines, fast paced days. It would be their utter nightmare.

But then they are very good at producing flow charts, instruction booklets etc - all the stuff that tells people how to do something. I just want to get on and do it!

@RavingAnnie I've never heard of that one. I've tried Ritalin, Concerta and Elvanse.

@therocinante does that ever make you feel like a fraud? I mean, it's just ridiculous that we have a neurological condition that makes carrying out boring tasks so hard. When you say it out loud it's just silly. But in reality it's so debilitating

[quote jincompoop]@therocinante does that ever make you feel like a fraud? I mean, it's just ridiculous that we have a neurological condition that makes carrying out boring tasks so hard. When you say it out loud it's just silly. But in reality it's so debilitating [/quote]
Yeah, I don't tend to talk about it or tell people about my diagnosis - like you say, it feels stupid to be like "yeah my brain just sometimes says no, no I'm not lazy I just can't make myself do stuff that's boring, yes I know everyone has to do things they find boring".

Thankfully (well, not really for them or the chaos levels in our house) my DH has ADHD too so he's completely gets it. But generally I keep it to myself because I either get a blank look because I'm not a hyper 8 year old boy so they don't really believe it, or I get "yeah I get spaced out and don't want to do things sometimes too, I just have to force myself" (AWESOME, does that involve not washing your hair for 2 weeks because you just can't and then hating yourself for it? What about sitting on the sofa paralysed by the inability to do anything other than stare at your phone for 4 hours followed by crying because you feel broken? No? Didn't think so).

On the plus side, awareness is getting better. And I've joined some really good online communities (Reddit's /ADHDWomen and there's a Discord too) which mean I don't feel too alone with it; it's just really comforting to speak to other people who don't look at you like you're lazy.

Diagnosed myself just this week, in my forties. It’s in some way a huge relief to know why I feel like my entire life is a battle against my own brain. But at the same time I broke down and cried for ages, because I’ve struggled all my life and been so hard on myself, and for what?

I would love to know what it’s like to feel “normal”. Or right now, I’d settle for knowing what it feels like to not be bone tired.

Being in a NT head would be my idea of hell. ASD here and diagnosed age 43. I lived in a fog really until then but since I've accepted I'm who I am and I'm not NT and I don't want or need to be and if others don't like it, don't understand it or think I should be more like them, they can do one.

And by living by this I'm really very happy in my own skin.

I feel for you. My DD was a mess until she got on Aderrall. The days she forgets to take it are a nightmare

[quote jincompoop]@RavingAnnie I've never heard of that one. I've tried Ritalin, Concerta and Elvanse. [/quote]
Have a look at. My psychiatrist mentioned it as I get palpitations and she said it's an option if I can't tolerate other meds.

Ha! I wondered if this was about ADHD before I clicked on it. I suspect I have it and often feel like this OP. I would like to experience silence in my head and be able to fall asleep normally.

@TiddyTid

Being in a NT head would be my idea of hell. ASD here and diagnosed age 43. I lived in a fog really until then but since I've accepted I'm who I am and I'm not NT and I don't want or need to be and if others don't like it, don't understand it or think I should be more like them, they can do one.

And by living by this I'm really very happy in my own skin.

I'm envious of people like you. Thee is nothing about my ADHD (so a different experience to your ASD) that enhances my like. Thing is, although yes what other people think of me does bother me, it's not my main issue. My main issues are the way my brain just makes everything darn thing I try to do so bloody hard. If I could click my fingers tomorrow and have a normal brain, I would. My ADHD doesn't help me, or enhance my life in any way. Yes it's me and I need to accept it, but I will never not wish that I didn't have it.

I'm autistic, have OCD and am pretty sure I have ADHD too, but trying to get the doctor to get a referral for the ADHD is difficult, and we don't have right to choose in Wales either. So I can't even get meds at the moment.

I realized I was autistic when I was 39 and it made so much sense, and more recently realized that I have lots of ADHD traits too.

I would love to know what it's like to be normal, to be able to get stuff done. With my OCD as well and the rituals from that, even when I can do things they take so much longer.

I must admit I'm jealous of people who can just do things that I struggle so much with.

I was diagnosed with autism last year. I've spent a lot of time in tears over it ever since. The sudden realisation that no not everyone struggles like I do or finds life so hard. Everyone around me has been so positive about my diagnosis and won't listen when I say no it's a disability and it's awful. My house is a mess, my life is a mess. I would give anything to be NT.

I'm autistic. The following things have greatly eased anxiety, brain fog, over thinking, depression, difficulty sleeping etc.

1. Cut out artificial sweeteners especially Aspartame.
2. Take high dose Vitamin D at least 5000 IU a day.
3. Look to heal imbalance in microbiome. Kefir helps greatly with this.
4. Take high dose Magnesium.

@TheCrowening

Diagnosed myself just this week, in my forties. It’s in some way a huge relief to know why I feel like my entire life is a battle against my own brain. But at the same time I broke down and cried for ages, because I’ve struggled all my life and been so hard on myself, and for what?

I would love to know what it’s like to feel “normal”. Or right now, I’d settle for knowing what it feels like to not be bone tired.

Sorry I didn’t “diagnose myself”, just realised how that reads!

@TheCrowening
But I know what you mean. It's so nice to finally know why I am this way, that's there's a reason. But I get big waves of grief about how my life could have been so different.
And my life isn't awful. I'm lucky. I'm married, have DCs, a nice house. Luckily I have a DH who's good with finances as I'm bloody awful. I've always worked and have never been fired, but I have absolutely always struggled with work and have nowhere near met my potential.
It's a bitter pill, really. And then there's the worry and guilt about my DCs, as I'm pretty certain my eldest has it too (though is nowhere near the CAMHS threshold right now).

Me too. Am procrastinating over contacting the GP atm. Feels so silly but like you all said I'm exhausted. It's just so fucking tiring being in my head. I feel like two people sometimes, the NT one criticising what the ADHD me is doing.
"But why are you eating? You're not hungry. You don't need it. You don't want to put weight on"
"But I feel so awful. Tired and sad. I want to feel good and food makes me feel good."

"But why are you fucking about on your phone when you have a project due?"
"Because I feel completely overwhelmed by the project plus I know if and when I sit down to it there's a chance I go into hyperfocus mode, forget the world exists and make myself ill or forget to pick the kids up or fall down a rabbit hole of inconsequential Internet li ks that are only tangentially related to the project but suck up my time like a sponge"

Just a constant argument inside my own head. Make it stop.

Also the not being able to do a single household job without ending up doing ALL of them until I'm exhausted or, worse, starting to do every single one I come across but never finishing any of them.

Not the same as you OP, but I have a hidden disability that affects my life and state of mind in a daily basis....and has for the last 20 years. It affects everything and I hate it. The constant restrictions, the constant worry and fear, and just that general feeling of being different.

I get so jealous sometimes when I think about people who don’t have to worry like I do.

I would give anything to be able to live in the mind and body of a person who could live their life freely without having constant fear and anxiety in the back of their head and not have to worry about how they need to restrict their lives in order to remain well.

I totally get what you mean OP

Completely get where you are coming from I have dyslexia and I suspect ADHD (although the latter undiagnosed). My short term memory is really bad and I struggle with things like remembering people’s names or relating an interesting fact I’ve heard as I’ll only be able to remember part of it. I can’t tell jokes as I can’t remember punchlines or I get muddled and tell the punchline at the wrong time 😅
It baffles me how NT people seem to do things so easily and fluidly. For example in my last job I went quite a way outside my comfort zone and led some training for parents of children with learning disability (my two sons have ASD). I had to work my pants off to deliver the 10 week course - it took me most of the week to prepare for each 3 hour session. I had to put everything down on cards and have multiple run throughs. Record myself. Go through the slides again and again. I dreaded learning everyone’s names - we used name badges at first but by week three I couldn’t really justify using them still as everyone else had got them down pat. The other session leaders were so good at thinking on their feet and could just wing it. If I’d have done that I would have forgotten what I’d covered and what I hadn’t. I was really pleased with myself in the end as things went well and my hard work paid off but wow I had to put in the hours and stretch myself.
I have so much admiration for people in the public eye that are able to think on their feet and talk about a topic off the cuff - I think people are so media savvy these days we expect everyone to be good at public speaking but it’s or easy (at least not for me).

There is a lot in this thread I can relate to so much! The wanting and needingto get things done, but being so completely blocked from getting started, or maintaining focus if I do. Always a last minute panic, it's exhausting.
And the critical voice in my head that says I am lazy, adhd is a cop out, i should just pull myself together.
I am mid 40s, undiagnosed, and mourn the things I 'should' have achieved. I have a nice life and have done ok, but the fantasy of what I was going to do with my life.
Working on acceptance, but it's hard.
It really helps to hear all your perspectives, I am not alone, thanks!

I feel like two people sometimes, the NT one criticising what the ADHD me is doing.

Yes!!

[quote jincompoop]@therocinante does that ever make you feel like a fraud? I mean, it's just ridiculous that we have a neurological condition that makes carrying out boring tasks so hard. When you say it out loud it's just silly. But in reality it's so debilitating [/quote]
I totally relate to

But then they are very good at producing flow charts, instruction booklets etc - all the stuff that tells people how to do something.

Don't assume that the tasks you struggle with are'boring', and therefore you sound like you're using a get-out clause. I struggle to write letters, things that would take dh 10mins take me hours or days, and I need his help. OTOH I can get happily lost for those same hours or days creating an instruction manual or a filing system that is a precise model of clarity. A job that would frustrate dh and stress him out unbearably.

Boring is relative.

(Though it is weird to me that I can create order and rationality in systems for others, but myself live in mess and chaos.)