To want to spend a couple of days in the body mind and brain of someone who is neurotypical?

[jincompoop]

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2019, but obviously I've always had it, I just didn't know what it was.
I spend so much of my time overwhelmed and stressed. Tasks that would take a NT person 10mins can take me 10 times longer.

Work is the hardest thing. I'm waiting for a coach through Access to Work but right now I'm just trying to stop myself from drowning.

It's just so weird. I look at my colleagues, and what they do / how they do it, and I don't understand. I just don't get how someone can organise themselves and multitask. How they can be flexible, take on something extra at the drop of a hat. And get as much done as they can in the time we've got.
I would absolutely love to swap brains for a day, just to see how it feels like to have those skills. How does it work?? Sitting here in my sofa I don't feel abnormal, or disabled. I don't look like there's anything wrong. But then when I try to function it all falls apart.

Ive tried three different types of meds, none have helped and increased by BP which is already high.

I'm exhausted.

Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep - I think you're inside my head. Which is both disturbing because I feel totally exposed ... and yet reassuring because I'm not the only one like this.

@bumpertobumper

There is a lot in this thread I can relate to so much! The wanting and needingto get things done, but being so completely blocked from getting started, or maintaining focus if I do. Always a last minute panic, it's exhausting. And the critical voice in my head that says I am lazy, adhd is a cop out, i should just pull myself together. I am mid 40s, undiagnosed, and mourn the things I 'should' have achieved. I have a nice life and have done ok, but the fantasy of what I was going to do with my life. Working on acceptance, but it's hard. It really helps to hear all your perspectives, I am not alone, thanks!

Identify with this! I’m nearly 60 and only found out about ADHD, and realised I probably had it, five years ago when a friend was diagnosed and I googled it and so much was familiar and made sense of my experience. I went to see my GP but she just said she didn’t think it would be helpful to get a label at my time of life.

Dilbertian - there is comfort on community.

I'm really struggling to get back into work because the level I'm at requires 'attention to detail' and I cannot do detail. I'm shit at it. Unless it's totally irrelevant and then I get sucked into a black hole of pointlessness. What I am amazing at is writing and being creative and weird problem solving which is more strategic level stuff, but I haven't got the years at 'attention to detail' level to get those roles, plus I'm scared of doing them without abit of mentoring/handholding.

I'm trying to get a professional qualification atm so I can take n the strategic role, but the thought of walking in at that level after a 'home study course' (however professionally approved) and being all "hey everyone - listen to my big ideas" and then relying on a team to do all the (to me) boring detail shit just realy really scares me.

See I told you my attention to detail was shite. Comfort in community

I have autism and adhd. I don't think I could hack experiencing a switch just for a couple of days, I would feel too jealous switching back to this and it only being a couple of days, I'd want longer to try and actually have a swing at a "normal" life.
A couple of years at least I would love that, I'd even take a year.

Am procrastinating over contacting the GP atm
GP's in my experience are useless and run the same algo every bloody time. Tablets, CBT and sick notes being the standard response. I had decades of the same responses from various GP's.
I got better helping myself.
See my post above.

@Ephe17 to be fair to my GP, he did a referral for me at the first appointment that I said that I thought I might have ADHD. I
Went in there armed with lots of info, and "evidence". He did ask how I could do my job (it's a pretty responsible involved one) and asked if I'd ever need fired (no, but I'd left jobs because they were too much).
I made sure I could relate my specific experiences with having ADHD traits.
Maybe I was lucky, but I'm so glad I gave it a try.

@Ephe17

Am procrastinating over contacting the GP atm GP's in my experience are useless and run the same algo every bloody time. Tablets, CBT and sick notes being the standard response. I had decades of the same responses from various GP's. I got better helping myself. See my post above.

My GP went down the CBT route. It didn’t help but the CBT practitioner was lovely and when I explained that I thought the reason it wasn’t helping might be ADHD, she referred me quickly for assessment. Bit of a wait then, but a year later I finally know why I am the way I am.

Two lost jobs and a bankruptcy too late but if it can keep me in the profession I’m in now, not too late overall.

@CoRhona

I am NT; colleague is not. I thrive on last minute changes, juggling work, deadlines, fast paced days. It would be their utter nightmare.

But then they are very good at producing flow charts, instruction booklets etc - all the stuff that tells people how to do something. I just want to get on and do it!

While I can see you are trying to find the positive, that is incredibly patronising. To paraphrase, you are good at everything fast paced and actually effective, but they're great at instruction booklets (which we all know that barely anyone uses). Damning with faint praise and all that.

Bet they'd not love being in your NT mind for a day, they'd have to see what you really think of them...

Don't be ridiculous. It's not patronising, it's recognising and accepting diversity. FYI I am one of the people who would be utterly over-stressed by the poster's role, but love and be good at her colleague's role.

Speaking as an NT, I usually start my day with very good clarity . I plan out what I’m going to do for the day when I’m having my breakfast. I’m extremely well organised, and I can context switch between tasks at speed. When I switch tasks, I compartmentalise and I don’t linger on thinking about the previous task. I work fast and probably send about 40 emails a day. I can drop everything at a heartbeat because I can rationalise priorities and I don’t get too emotionally attached. It’s taken years of practice to be as efficient, I’m a very busy working mum so I do get curve balls but keeping my feet grounded I.e. no one’s dying and it’s just a job (to me) helps me a lot. Without fail I will also go out for a walk rain or shine and I am sure that helps regulate me too. Hope this helps and i am enjoying reading this thread.

I think I know what you mean op
Today for example, supposed to be on walk with friend, but the world just SO noisy for me, she ended up saying I should go home (and walked home with my ear defenders on cos you know the NOISE!) as I was completely unable to hold a conversation and trying to stop having a meltdown (lucky friend recognised I was struggling because I did not until I actually got home!)
But I have never know anything else and I cannot even imagine what it would be like if it was different

Oh I should day I not adhd but I am autistic

I thought I was just lazy, disorganised and over sensitive until a friend pointed out it might be ADHD... I'm not diagnosed - so maybe I AM just lazy, disorganised and over sensitive

What I struggle with is that sometimes I'm almost over-active and will work like crazy for 4/5 hours and get LOADS done, but then will struggle to do anything for the next few days.

To do basic tasks I have to have certain music or TV on or set a timer for myself to "beat".

ASD, bipolar disorder and newly-diagnosed ADHD here, and feel this so much. Fed up to the back teeth of people wabbling on about all the supposed strengths I must have as an autist, how it's really a "superpower" (vom), how it's a difference not a disorder, and all that patronising over-optimistic shite.

@CookieDoughKid

Speaking as an NT, I usually start my day with very good clarity . I plan out what I’m going to do for the day when I’m having my breakfast. I’m extremely well organised, and I can context switch between tasks at speed. When I switch tasks, I compartmentalise and I don’t linger on thinking about the previous task. I work fast and probably send about 40 emails a day. I can drop everything at a heartbeat because I can rationalise priorities and I don’t get too emotionally attached. It’s taken years of practice to be as efficient, I’m a very busy working mum so I do get curve balls but keeping my feet grounded I.e. no one’s dying and it’s just a job (to me) helps me a lot. Without fail I will also go out for a walk rain or shine and I am sure that helps regulate me too. Hope this helps and i am enjoying reading this thread.

It's interesting to know what's on your head. I'm cannot do any of those things!

@Ephe17

Am procrastinating over contacting the GP atm GP's in my experience are useless and run the same algo every bloody time. Tablets, CBT and sick notes being the standard response. I had decades of the same responses from various GP's. I got better helping myself. See my post above.

I don't take artificial sweeteners, I ferment my own food and take regular supplements including vitamin d and magnesium. I'm glad they work for you, it makes me wonder what kind of mess I might be in if I didn't do this already, but it's not enough, whatever.

@Dilbertian

Don't be ridiculous. It's not patronising, it's recognising and accepting diversity. FYI I am one of the people who would be utterly over-stressed by the poster's role, but love and be good at her colleague's role.

See, neurodiversity is so fascinating because I would thrive on the fast paced, creative thinking, reactive role but quickly end up in tears or giving up on a more systematic, details based role like the one described. I think this is one of the trickiest things about neurodiversity, there are so many commonalities, but each person can be so very very different in the things they struggle with and the things they thrive on.

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teenager.

I have coped well overall, throughout my adulthood, but I am working to understand how I manage from one day to the next, and honour those coping mechanisms rather than see them as something wrong with me.

Doing that has made a huge difference in my self esteem, for a start.

I'm lucky in that I have always worked from home, more or less, and currently have a boss that is happy with me working to a schedule I set for myself, allowing me space to settle into my workday by 10am instead of 9am on the dot, or answer emails at 7pm when I have had time to mull them over and come up with a solution, or whatever else flexibility I need.

It's a constant juggle between exhibiting "normal" behaviour and allowing space for my own needs. Currently my house is a tip, and I find it stressful to see the crumbs on the countertop or the recycling on the side waiting to go out, but can't seem to get on top of it - but it's only us at home, it's not an end of the world scenario, and tomorrow is another day.

I keep trying. I guess that's what matters.

@CookieDoughKid

Speaking as an NT, I usually start my day with very good clarity . I plan out what I’m going to do for the day when I’m having my breakfast. I’m extremely well organised, and I can context switch between tasks at speed. When I switch tasks, I compartmentalise and I don’t linger on thinking about the previous task. I work fast and probably send about 40 emails a day. I can drop everything at a heartbeat because I can rationalise priorities and I don’t get too emotionally attached. It’s taken years of practice to be as efficient, I’m a very busy working mum so I do get curve balls but keeping my feet grounded I.e. no one’s dying and it’s just a job (to me) helps me a lot. Without fail I will also go out for a walk rain or shine and I am sure that helps regulate me too. Hope this helps and i am enjoying reading this thread.

I’m sure you mean well, but the point is you can do all those things because you’re NT.

Completely agree TheCrowening. I just wanted to give a little insight. But I am a planner and I will make lists for work tasks in my notebook. Would planning help non NTs?

Quick question for all of you: do you have to tell the truth? My 9 year old has ADHD and dyspraxia and we've noticed that he is utterly incapable of lying or even being vague/imprecise with the truth.

It's tricky at school for him cos he blurts out the truth and it's led to him being bullied for example.

@InvincibleInvisibility

Quick question for all of you: do you have to tell the truth? My 9 year old has ADHD and dyspraxia and we've noticed that he is utterly incapable of lying or even being vague/imprecise with the truth.

It's tricky at school for him cos he blurts out the truth and it's led to him being bullied for example.

Yes I am the same Can be good and bad! But I am pretty much incapable of lying even now I am mid 30s

Thanks, we did wonder if it was linked to ADHD.

Its useful for us obviously but socially its not always good.

@CookieDoughKid

I am excellent at planning. I just fail spectacularly in actually executing said plan.