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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that if the only black adult in your family says they have experienced racism...

999 replies

Overcastcloudy · 11/03/2021 14:14

... it's counterproductive to send a white man out to say, We're very much not racist?

That just is never going to end well. Ask Ian Murray how it worked out for him.

I couldn't care much either way about the Royal Family. Just baffled at the headline of William saying this.

OP posts:
Tzigane · 12/03/2021 19:08

Meghan has done a disservice to those experiencing racism by not making it clear who said it.

What difference does it make those experiencing racism to know who said it? You just want to know and that's your excuse.

I really don't care who said it, I don't think it's relevant.

Marmaladeagain · 12/03/2021 19:10

@Tzigane could you point me - I've advanced searched your name with the terms "harry" "racist" but didn't get anything.

Please could you give me a keyword to search regarding your posts addressing Harry not being racist despite several well documented events of overt racism?

If not cut and paste it. Not really on to go around flinging your "bigots" out like confetti but not provide one sentence on why Harry isn't racist but the rest of us are.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/03/2021 19:12

Later on in the interview she said I think the plan is that they’ll change things so he’s not a Prince even when Charles is monarch. Not ‘I was told this’ - ‘I think’

I know - and that's why I wondered where the insistence that Charles wants to do away with Archie becoming Prince came from
After all, if H&M had been told this it's a fair bet that they'd have said so

BootsieBarnes · 12/03/2021 19:14

Also, I don't understand why if an institution is so damaging and toxic you'd want your son to be a part of it by being a Prince.

Surely by bestowing such a title on him you are then saddling him with a lifetime of royal duties and throwing him into a damaging environment that had such a profoundly negative impact on his father. He won't get the protection if he isn't a working royal, so you are effectively signing him up for life of negativity that he could have actually really been protected from.

That doesn't make sense to me.

Topmum66 · 12/03/2021 19:16

I agree that Meghan has done those of us who truly have experienced racism a disservice. Her selfish motive is clear to any discerning person which was to cause maximum damage to the RF. I do not believe she was subjected to racism by the RF at all.

There is a lot of real racism in this county but in this case of a narcissist throwing their dummy out of the pram, it is not.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 12/03/2021 19:17

So she still decided to be married into a bunch of racists then. Or did she not realise until too late ( and they had paid for the big wedding with a black American pastor).
And are her racist in-laws even the issue? I thought they were pissed off about the negativity from the press which is why they left.

BootsieBarnes · 12/03/2021 19:19

What difference does it make those experiencing racism to know who said it? You just want to know and that's your excuse.

It does make a difference. If you don't know the source you cannot take action and send an example of accountability to others who may feel they have license to be racist.

I don't want to know. I think a formal investigation needs to take place, for Meghan to be interviewed so she can freely talk about what happened. If a hate crime happened to her then it needs to be investigated and the appropriate action taken.

Vague accusations do no one any favours.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/03/2021 19:23

I do not believe she was subjected to racism by the RF at all

I don't pretend to know either way, but while some on here might not care "who said it", I'd lay bets that the palace will certainly be asking questions now that they've all been smeared by association

Best hope that H&M have some credible answers ready, because I can't see anything less cutting it

Marmaladeagain · 12/03/2021 19:26

Of course it's relevant who said it.

The same people on the thread that like to shout "bigot" also seem to be quite the fans of very vague comments - it provides the most opportunity for scattergun of "bigot" accusations.

Topmum66 · 12/03/2021 19:27

The head of the choir that sang at her wedding have come to PC defence saying they cannot believe he is racist. Also high profile black people in this country have come to the RF defence to say they are not racist.

This is why it is so important the person who asked about Archies skin tone need to be identified ASAP.

Tzigane · 12/03/2021 19:36

@Marmaladeagain

I'm not sure what is so hard about reading the thread you're contributing to but hey ho. I said that Harry seems to have wised up since those comments. (No doubt in part due to his relationship with Meghan which he has said have opened his eyes).

Your fantasy of what posters have said about Harry is just that.

Btw I've never called anyone 'bigoted' so I'm not sure why it's in quote marks.

ancientgran · 12/03/2021 19:38

@Marmaladeagain

Of course it's relevant who said it.

The same people on the thread that like to shout "bigot" also seem to be quite the fans of very vague comments - it provides the most opportunity for scattergun of "bigot" accusations.

What was actually said is also relevant.
Tzigane · 12/03/2021 19:41

@TopMum

Equally, other high profile black people are not impressed.

The choir head said that PC can't be racist because he invited them to the wedding. Rather missing the point that they wouldn't have been invited at all if Harry wasn't marrying Meghan. Do they really think that was PC idea?!

queenofarles · 12/03/2021 19:42

PC looked genuinely happy at the wedding, walking Meghan down the Isle was a very sweet thing .

This is what Harry said about it : "I asked him to and I think he knew it was coming and he immediately said, 'Yes, of course, I’ll do whatever Meghan needs and I’m here to support you'"

I’m starting to think Harry and Meghan suffer from selective memory loss,

Topmum66 · 12/03/2021 19:45

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Tzigane · 12/03/2021 19:48

For posters so belligerently belittling of racial issues there's a disproportionately keen interest in who-made-the-racist-comment. Far more concern than for the people it was said to.

Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum · 12/03/2021 19:49

Madness to think it does matter who the conversation involved. They are labelling a whole family as racist by not saying. Who would like that to happen to their own family?

As they are an extended massive family. The chance of it actually being an uncle or cousin is high. Labelling them wouldn't gather so much attention though would it.

Tzigane · 12/03/2021 19:52

@Topmum66

So you're suddenly interested in what black people have to say when they support your world view, but dismiss them when they don't. Ace.

It's offensive slash racist imo to imply anyone thinks M should be believed "just because she's mixed race".

phoenixrosehere · 12/03/2021 19:52

Why are people assuming it was Charles or William that said something about the baby’s possible skintone? The way Harry spoke about his father and brother doesn’t really suggest (at least to me) that it was them. They said that it wasn’t Queen Elizabeth or Prince Philip. It obviously wasn’t Kate. They only said it would be very damaging for whomever it was. Why couldn’t it be Camilla?

She seems to be the only person who was barely mentioned if at all during the whole interview.

kaleishorrid · 12/03/2021 19:52

@homebird46

No, you can be any kind of narcissistic arsehole you like, but you don’t deserve racism in response. It’s a criminal offence for starters.
Exactly!
Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum · 12/03/2021 19:53

@Tzigane

For posters so belligerently belittling of racial issues there's a disproportionately keen interest in who-made-the-racist-comment. Far more concern than for the people it was said to.
We get you are sat at home in an

I ❤ Meghan

T shirt

But you seriously believe anything someone says because of there skin colour and believe other people should too?

Topmum66 · 12/03/2021 19:57

@Tzigane is that so well I suppose you need to have a word with yourself then Wink you can’t even see the inverse hypocrisy.

I am a BAME woman. You disgust me trying to call me racist. Do a better job of defending race.

Marmaladeagain · 12/03/2021 19:59

Oh well that's all fine and dandy then - so his relationship with Meghan is what has managed to help Harry from tripping up saying obnoxious racist terms. He's learned hasn't he (even though he has never, ever publicly addressed being previously racist) but must be in that book of "hidden" coded racism.

Funny, I never needed to get to know Meghan to work that out myself.
I wonder how I managed all these years not to call someone a racist slur? You're blaming his family still I see, even though the only documented person is Harry being racist.

So to clarify - he's not the racist then, but I am (the hidden type or whatever it says in the research on coded terms for hidden racism).

Sorry too long on the politics threads over the years so I'm used to being called a "bigot" for wanting to leave a trading bloc with ever closer union at its core.

Yes, sorry it's a "racist" that you're purporting people such as I am - those who think Meghan presented a very purposefully vague version of all events as "tandem" etc. and Harry presented an even vaguer version.

I prefer to make judgments based on lots of other information as well as what's in people's heart which seeps out in how they think about others in general.

I like to think the best of people's motives until proven otherwise, H&M kind of keep doing the opposite of what I'd think people with kind hearts would do.

Topmum66 · 12/03/2021 19:59

@Tzigane

So I’m a racist because I fight for BAME, am BAME but don’t believe Meghan suffered racism at the hand of the RF? You are truly ignorant.

Tzigane · 12/03/2021 19:59

@Topmum66

I agree that Meghan has done those of us who truly have experienced racism a disservice. Her selfish motive is clear to any discerning person which was to cause maximum damage to the RF. I do not believe she was subjected to racism by the RF at all.

There is a lot of real racism in this county but in this case of a narcissist throwing their dummy out of the pram, it is not.

So the racism you have experienced is 'real' and the racism other people have experienced is what - fake? Unreal? Doesn't count? Who are you to be the arbiter of what is 'real'? How much does it have to hurt to count? How dark do you have to be? Etc
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