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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think that if the only black adult in your family says they have experienced racism...

999 replies

Overcastcloudy · 11/03/2021 14:14

... it's counterproductive to send a white man out to say, We're very much not racist?

That just is never going to end well. Ask Ian Murray how it worked out for him.

I couldn't care much either way about the Royal Family. Just baffled at the headline of William saying this.

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Overcastcloudy · 11/03/2021 19:23

I don't care about MM. I struggle to see her as not-white so this whole thing is confusing. I don't understand how people see her as anything but white. Hair is too straight & skin too light for her to seem anything but white.

Jesus wept. I bet you think that isn't racist.

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fluffysocks89 · 11/03/2021 19:24

If we didn’t have a RF we wouldn’t have any of these problems. The fact Andrew seems to be getting off the hook, backed by the queen is another problem. Yet we give this family umpteen palaces, vast amounts of money and ridiculous privilege. We look up to them like gods. Why are we putting up with this?

StoneofDestiny · 11/03/2021 19:25

The Queen had to be forced to pay taxes! That's not a good reputation for a multi millionaire to have.
The Queen expected the heavily taxed public to pay for repairs to her house Windsor Castle - what a nerve!
The Queen is publicly supporting Andrew to avoid public scrutiny

Not a totally blemish free reputation at all

Cokie3 · 11/03/2021 19:28

@derxa I think you need to go to specsavers. Harry looked depressed and near tears when he made the accusations, no smile, no smirk. In fact, the criticism of him has been that he looked thoroughly miserable and utterly destroyed.

I don't know what you were on but you clearly saw something that no one else in the world did, not even the Harry and Meghan haters saw.

phoenixrosehere · 11/03/2021 19:31
  • People have lost all sense of proportionality. I'm sure Meghan did feel out of her depth. I also think that the Senior Royals are so used and hardened to press batterings that they underestimated how hurt Meghan was by the constant press negativity. People forget that what Meghan has been subjected to was nothing compared to what Camilla went through in the 90s and 00s at the hands of the press.

What a weird comparison! Camilla had an AFFAIR with Prince Charles. Not only that, Camilla didn’t have this thing called Social Media to contend with and having said press be circulated all over the world.

SnackSizeRaisin · 11/03/2021 19:32

I don't think you have to believe someone just because they happen to be black. If this incident genuinely occurred they need to say who said it and when. Not in public necessarily but it's only fair to tell the RF themselves.
Yes I'm sure she has suffered racism at the hands of the press and on twitter etc. Sadly there are many racists in this country. Every family probably has someone who would make an inappropriate comment, my family certainly does amongst the older generation. Most of it would be due to ignorance which of course is no excuse.
However none of that means she ought to be automatically believed. There are many other lies in that interview and to be honest the pair of them just come across as attention seeking. The US is hardly a racism free country anyway.

BlackBucketOfCheese · 11/03/2021 19:34

MN truly is a festering pit of racists who never want to hear from minorities.

Yes it is hard to hear you’re racist but hey, why not use this as a time to learn and better yourself?

StoneofDestiny · 11/03/2021 19:36

I don't think you have to believe someone just because they happen to be black

Correct.
Nor just believe them because they are white.
Nor just believe them because they are Royal.

phoenixrosehere · 11/03/2021 19:37

What a useless bunch the Royals and their advisors are. Any dimwit would know the question about the Royal Family and Racism and/or the Harry Meghan interview would be asked of them while out visiting places!

Right. Their advisors needed to be fired ages ago. They don’t seem to have moved with the times and that’s going to continue to bite them in the bum. History is going to keep repeating itself if they don’t get their sh*t together.

derxa · 11/03/2021 19:37

[quote Cokie3]@derxa I think you need to go to specsavers. Harry looked depressed and near tears when he made the accusations, no smile, no smirk. In fact, the criticism of him has been that he looked thoroughly miserable and utterly destroyed.

I don't know what you were on but you clearly saw something that no one else in the world did, not even the Harry and Meghan haters saw.[/quote]
I suggest you look again

fluffysocks89 · 11/03/2021 19:39

@StoneofDestiny

The Queen had to be forced to pay taxes! That's not a good reputation for a multi millionaire to have. The Queen expected the heavily taxed public to pay for repairs to her house Windsor Castle - what a nerve! The Queen is publicly supporting Andrew to avoid public scrutiny

Not a totally blemish free reputation at all

She also tried to use state poverty fund to heat Buckingham Palace, money set aside for schools, hospitals and low income families. Not content with the 775 roomed palace at her disposal, she thinks she’s entitled to separate funds to heat it. This is the woman worth over £400 MILLION.

Hardly has she put a foot wrong.

TableFlowerss · 11/03/2021 19:41

[quote Cokie3]**@TableFlowerss* The Queen didn’t ask to be born in to that role. She’s not set a foot wrong in her long reign.*

Well that one certainly comes down to opinion. I can think of many instances; the week Diana died (the whole suggesting he marry Diana and not Camilla in the first place), and I just loved how Alistair Campbell called her out (yes, I am aware it was a movie, but I am talking about where what Alistair said in the movie was corroborated and was what he said in real life) how she has handled (or rather, not handled) the Prince Andrew revelations. That's just two examples. She might not give interviews where she explains herself, but imo she has been left very, very wanting indeed, many times over the years. She's always seemed manipulative and cunning to me, but because she's the Queen, she can.[/quote]
Well we’ll have to agree to disagree on this point. I don’t believe she’s manipulative or cunning at all. I think the reason M&H referred to it as ‘the institution’ is because the decisions aren’t based on what the Queen says. I assume it is like a company and whilst she’ll have a say, they’ll have a protocol etc...

The media are atrocious here and I don’t blame MM for despising them. It’s one thing posting a negative story, but they can be vile at times all in the name of profit and grabby headlines.

No body knows what truly goes on behind closed doors (in any family) and I’m not say MM didn’t feel that way. I’m saying that there is always two sides of the story and the RF don’t get involved in airing their dirty laundry in public.

I think there have been times in the past where the public thought the RF should make public announcements etc... re Dianna but they don’t get involved in the media frenzy that is the press/media. Their approach is to keep quiet and probably so not to fuel the flames with he said she said.

I think this is where MM issues arise. She wanted them to intervene etc but they haven’t done historically, so they aren’t going to change their protocol for her. For example the whole ‘MM made Kate cry tabloid spread’. I bet that that is rubbish and MM confirmed it was rubbish, but it sells papers and it’s shight, but the papers write what they want most of the time and you’ve got to take it with a pinch of salt. I don’t believe everything I read etc is true and I believe most people are the same mindset.

So if the RF had to do a press conference to say exactly what is/isn’t truth, they’d be releasing statements every week.....

Cokie3 · 11/03/2021 19:42

I did @derxa. I've seen the interview 3 times. I suggest you watch it once for the first time. Since you clearly haven't seen it even once yet.

TableFlowerss · 11/03/2021 19:42

I just feel there’s two sides to every story

georgarina · 11/03/2021 19:42

He has a right to say his family isn't racist? If someone spent time with my family and called them racist I would defend them because I know they're not.

BlackBucketOfCheese · 11/03/2021 19:43

As for the Queen’s wrongdoings, she also hasn’t walked away from her POS husband. If my husband made those comments I would leave him. Unless it is an abusive relationship that is too dangerous to leave unaided, staying with someone who is racist is a sign that you too are racist and complicit.

DigitalGhost · 11/03/2021 19:45

So they can't say they're not racist because they're white? 😵‍💫 Okaaay

Sprining · 11/03/2021 19:47

Why say anything - what about the don’t complain, don’t explain that the Rf supposedly adopts?

phoenixrosehere · 11/03/2021 19:49

The US is hardly a racism free country anyway.

So and the U.K. isn’t either and has more than proven that to the rest of the world. At least in the US, tabloids wouldn’t get away with as much as the tabloids do here since you have to have enough actual evidence to back up what is said because media outlets don’t want to be sued for defamation and slander and have to pay money out of it with other media outlets reporting about such things.

Livingtothefull · 11/03/2021 19:50

@StoneofDestiny

What a useless bunch the Royals and their advisors are. Any dimwit would know the question about the Royal Family and Racism and/or the Harry Meghan interview would be asked of them while out visiting places!

Is that really the best answer the second apprentice to the throne could come up with, and if that's what he was advised to say then they need a new team.

Or wait - better solution - get rid of the monarchy altogether.

I completely agree with all of this. This family have expensive PR people (paid for at our expense) and should have had a better answer ready - even none would have been better than this.

It was just not good enough to claim they are 'not a racist family' when besides Harry & Meghan's accusation there are several documented examples of the RF being racist.

BTW just out of interest let's compare & contrast the Palace statement about the bullying allegations with the racism claim:

On bullying: "...(O)ur HR team will look into the circumstances outlined in the article. Members of staff involved at the time, including those who have left the Household, will be invited to participate to see if lessons can be learned.

"The Royal Household has had a Dignity at Work policy in place for a number of years and does not and will not tolerate bullying or harassment in the workplace."

On racism: "The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning. Whilst some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately'.

Is it just me that thinks this is so much weaker by comparison? No clear statement as to how the racism allegations will be investigated and who and what will be included.

Vague and potentially dismissive language used - 'issues raised, particularly that of race'. A suggestion in there that Meghan/Harry may be lying, exaggerating or just oversensitive - 'recollections may vary'.

And most of all - no reference to any clear and unequivocal statement that racism is not tolerated. Is any such statement included in their Dignity at Work Policy as well? They don't say.

Finally - it is just not good enough to state that the matter will be handled in the family. The fact that the 2nd in line to the throne's attitude is 'nothing to see here' speaks volumes about how effective such handling is likely to be. This is not just a regular family, this is an institution which receives large amounts of public money.

Let's not forget that unlike bullying (however reprehensible) racism is specifically illegal and individuals may be potentially criminally liable. So the latter demands at the very least an equally robust response.

So overall - not nearly good enough.

derxa · 11/03/2021 19:51

@Cokie3

I did *@derxa*. I've seen the interview 3 times. I suggest you watch it once for the first time. Since you clearly haven't seen it even once yet.
I've seen the clips over and over again. Harry's been so cruel and vindictive. This should have been dealt with properly at the time. Racism is always wrong but Harry has left a cloud of suspicion over the family. Conveniently not the Queen or Prince Phillip who of course they adore. Of course the main incidences of racism we know about are Prince Phillip and Harry himself.
pointyshoes · 11/03/2021 19:52

@TwilightSkies

Meghan could claim to be a rabbit and people would believe it.

Do you think she hasn’t experienced racism from the royal family? Why would she lie?

Why did she lie about their secret wedding before the big public do. Both said the Archbishop of Canterbury married them “ just the 3 of us”. Can’t have been a legal wedding then - 2 witnesses are required.
Sprining · 11/03/2021 19:56

I had two weddings -a legal one and a previous one that was not legal. But nonetheless, I consider my non-legal wedding the real one, as it has the most meaning for me. What’s the big deal

StoneofDestiny · 11/03/2021 19:57

As for the Queen’s wrongdoings, she also hasn’t walked away from her POS husband

Nor has she publicly rebuked him.
If he was in any other job and out representing his 'firm' and made the remarks he did, he would have been sacked.

No way are the Royals ever subject to the same laws or standards the rest of us are.

And it's the only job I've ever heard of where there are two paid apprentices, one of whom has been an apprentice for over 70:years. Seriously - what mugs we all are tolerating and paying for this crap.

Overcastcloudy · 11/03/2021 20:01

@pointyshoes

Why did she lie about their secret wedding before the big public do. Both said the Archbishop of Canterbury married them “ just the 3 of us”. Can’t have been a legal wedding then - 2 witnesses are required.

Eh? I understood her to be saying it was a private, unofficial ceremony so that they could have a private moment that was meaningful to them. Not that they were looking to legally marry before the day. No one lies and namechecks the Archbishop of Canterbury as a witness to the falsehood.

Are you ok?

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