If you are married with children, do you ever fantasize about being single and child free?

[chuckb4ss]

Or is it just me?

I am not married, but yes, I do. Not in a sense that my children disappeared, but just imagining myself as a completely different person.

Single, but not child free. Yep I dream of this often. I just think life would be so much easier. No compromises.

I think that’s normal. I don’t actually want that, but sometimes I do wonder what I’d be like if I didn’t have children so young (I was 19).

Married with kids. Yes.

Yes, and I feel awful thinking it sometimes. Think I would just like a week alone in the house doing my own thing. Then I might miss them.

I dream about being single quite often. I don't really want it for lot of reasons but do fantasise about being able to entirely please myself. Would keep the kids though.

Yup, particularly during lockdown and school holidays when the house is truly a complete tip and no one cares but me, I search rightmove for little one bed flats and decorate it in my head how I would have everything and how it would all stay tidy 😂 I also imagine my hobbies as having time to keep fit and the food that would be in my fridge 😂

Never. Been there, done that and it is lonely and boring and expensive. I would like the house to myself sometimes though!

Yes, especially the single bit!

I sometimes wish I'd done more with my life before getting married and having kids. I settled down at 18 and missed out on so much, but I'm hoping to enjoy it all in a few years when the kids are grown up.

I'm divorced, but still currently in same house. When we move, I'll get two days off a week. And. I cannot fucking wait.

Do I think it would be more enjoyable to be child free in the midst of a pandemic? Yes.

I think it's human nature to think about "what if".

@Milkthecow

Never. Been there, done that and it is lonely and boring and expensive. I would like the house to myself sometimes though!

Surely being child free is actually cheaper than having kids?

In a way gallery, but I do think it gets vastly underestimated how expensive being single can be.

All bills and shopping has to come out of one salary which is obvious but this tends to cost more - I’ve explained that badly (up at night with DD) but I mean for instance a £800 mortgage is an awful lot from one salary but £400 each from two. Same with broadband, electricity, etc. Then council tax and paying for half a person who does not exist.

Then if you aren’t going to be a total recluse you do have to fork out for things. A weekend at home with the family is nice and chilled in non lockdown times but when it’s just you it’s very hard. I fantasise about a weekend to myself now because it would be a novelty but I also know every weekend spent that way is miserable. Paying for things like national trust membership, or gym membership, are all more expensive on non family deals.

Yes but it’s only a fantasy I wouldn’t really want it. When the children were very young I used to go and stay with my single friend in London and marvel at her lifestyle. Her quiet peaceful flat, getting up late and going out for brunch in a nice cafe at weekends. Going out in the evenings without even thinking about babysitters and just doing exactly what you want without thinking about anyone else. However when I got home and DH and the children were really excited to see me it was the best feeling. And somehow leaving my friend in her flat made me realise I would have been lonely.

Yes definitely. Like PP I had my children young and didn't do much being a 'grown up' alone beforehand. I think longingly of the freedom I will have in my 40s! DH isnt always in my fantasies, though I don't plan to leave him, it is just daydreaming.

Yes I sometimes slip into a fantasy world where I live alone in a beautiful, remote cottage by the sea.

Then I snap back to reality. I wouldn't ever want to be without any children and family but the odd little mental wander into a completely different life (particularly during lockdown) is a little bit of fantasy escapism to me.

Never. I didnt think it was going to happen for me so I'm incredibly grateful for Hubby and kids.

I fo imagine it, especially the childfree part. But the truth is that my DS has improved my life so much by being in it. He amazes me everyday and I just love him so much. It's hard work sometimes (he's 2.5) and was even harder when he was newborn, but it's all been worth it.

I also imagine being single but my DH ismy best friend, so life wouldn't be as great without him.

No.

Not really, but I married and had DS when I was a few months shy of 40, so (a) I had a good, long period of being unmarried and contentedly childfree and (b) I’m perfectly well aware I would have been equally, if differently, happy if I’d stayed that way.

I don’t, but my baby is only 3 months old so that may change

All the time. I regularly look up one bed properties in my single prove range on Rightmove, too.

I've never lived alone so I do feel like I've missed out on that.

Yes, quite often actually. I’d like my old career back too.