If you are married with children, do you ever fantasize about being single and child free?

[chuckb4ss]

Or is it just me?

Yes, much of the time. More the single bit than child free.

Yes I do sometimes. But it would only be for a short period of time, a week at most. I'm very happily married and my DC's are really not that much hard work at all but I often daydream about having a break from the relentlessness of it all.

No never.

Yes, especially when I've had yet another bad night's sleep with the 2 year old in the bed being constantly rolled over, elbowed and kicked. Then DH wakes up and tries it on while 2 year old whinges to get up and all I want is to have a large bed all to myself, waking up naturally and to silence. I then wouldn't have to put up with the sad face of dh because I shockingly didn't fancy it, I could use the toilet without an audience and drink coffee in peace. (In case you couldn't tell, this has been my morning today). Don't get me wrong, I love my DC more than anything, and no I wouldn't knowingly wish them away. But my life is tremendously shit at the moment, so I do fantasise q lot about how it could be, were I single and child free. Sigh.

I think this would be the perfect month -
A week as a family
A week just me and the DC
A week just me and DH
A week on my own
Not sure where they would go though !

Appalling grammar in there, sorry. The 2 year old is doing the rolling, kicking etc - they aren't getting beaten up!

Not really. I never wish I was single, but I definitely dreamed about being childfree for at least the first year of my child's life.

Now that she's older and more interesting (and easier) I don't think about not having her, but I would like a few more lie ins and time at home alone.

@alreadyinmypyjamas I do that too! I'm glad I'm not the only one. Like other pp, it's just fantasy day dreaming rather than hopeful wishing.

From time to time. I also fantasise about being a pop star and being kidnapped by pirates. I am also a maladaptive daydreamer.

I wouldn't really want to lose my husband and family. I'm nuts about them. I just need a bit of escapism now and then. Surely everyone does.

• All the time. I regularly look up one bed properties in my single prove range on Rightmove, too.

I've never lived alone so I do feel like I've missed out on that.*

Exact same. Purely fantasy, but it’s an enjoyable one.

I don’t fantasise about being single, but I do fantasise about what life would be like for me and my husband if we were child free.

When we have a bad day yes.

Not really but my friend has just left her husband and moved into a lovely little cottage. She has her teen every other week or so.
Her new house is just exactly how she wants it and there are no large hairy smelly men in it (I have 2 of those) and I can’t help thinking how lovely and quiet and tidy it is.

Ha ha @PJsEveryday - I think we are kindred spirits!

Yes, but what I really think I'm fantasising about is the idea of having the house to myself and grown up children - basically not being needed so much all the time.

I'm an extrovert in character but never being alone during lockdown has even got to me. My poor DH who is very introverted is really struggling with us all being omnipresent.

A weekend alone in a spa hotel would sort me out.

alreadyinmypyjamas I think we are

All the time. Quite normal. I'd have a hut in the middle of the forest where I only came out after a week.

@Hoppinggreen

Not really but my friend has just left her husband and moved into a lovely little cottage. She has her teen every other week or so. Her new house is just exactly how she wants it and there are no large hairy smelly men in it (I have 2 of those) and I can’t help thinking how lovely and quiet and tidy it is.

Well yeah but what does the teen make of it?

You know them, it could be he or she is really happy - but it must be hard for them, no matter how smooth the parents tried to make it for them.

Never and I think that’s because I have always had free time alone though I see many of my friends at different stages and ages not getting this. Many women get utterly subsumed by parenting and marriage and lose themselves even if they don’t want to.

I fantasise about divorcing my husband, living in my own flat and having the children every second week.

This may well become a reality later this year.

I was in a LTR for all of my twenties. When I hit 30 I had a bit of a midlife crisis and yearned to be single, go wild, live by myself and all the things I felt I'd missed out on. So I dumped him. Turns out the grass was not greener at all.

I've been with my "new" OH for 10 years now and perhaps because of that experience I really cherish him and never think "what if".

Kind off, I miss the freedom and spontaneity of life before DCs but that’s also an effect of the pandemic rather than just the family life.

Milkthecow that’s a whole different issue
My point was just about the peace and quiet of living on your own

No. It makes me feel sad!

But I am really looking forward to the kids leaving home and having the space and time to just potter around and please myself.

@Hoppinggreen

Milkthecow that’s a whole different issue My point was just about the peace and quiet of living on your own

I’m not being contentious but it isn’t. Once you have children, you can’t just do that as it will impact them. It would be different if it was hypothetical but you were talking about someone you actually know? Unless I’ve misunderstood and apologies if I have.