Am I being uptight or is she a cheeky sod?

[HarryorHas]

Neighbour has had insulation in house and shouted over to Dh on Saturday that the builders needed to do some work. Huge scaffolding has been in our garden, by the back door since then and only two hours work has been done on the wall by the builders. That was the first thing I'mgetying a bit 😩about. I have an active toddler Dd who needs to get out in the garden and can’t.
Second thing is, I looked this afternoon and a section of the wall that divides us, part of her house, yes, but also into our back garden is jutting out and will stay like that? 🤷🏻‍♀️
She hasn’t even asked if that’s ok, is that normal? It’s just been done, but goes into our garden. That wall section has chairs and table for sitting out.
I spoke to Dh about it and asked did she ask him, does he think it’s ok like that etc..cue huge argument, where he said I need to chill out and it’s not a problem at all.
Whatsapped mum and dad who said they wouldn’t like it either.
Aibu? will add pics and hopefully it makes sense.

Your dd can run around outside as long as there aren’t men climbing on it. Scaffolding is obviously solid enough for grown men to climb on it and build houses from it, your daughter is not going to knock it down on herself.
Call council, ask what planning rules are. Ask if there should be a planning application, ask if you can object, ask if they are allowed to intrude an inch into your property, and if not then what options are there for you. It might take a few days to find the right person, no idea how it works in Portugal. If you can’t do anything then you can’t do anything.

You might think your dh is pathetic for not talking to them (and agree) but it doesn’t sound like you are able to talk to them either! Or pick up the phone to call planning!

@timeisnotaline I don’t get on with her, as said, get on really well with everyone else in the neighbourhood, I’m not comfortable talking to her. Dh talks to her fairly regularly

I would speak to her and advise her that she does not have permission to extend her wall in to your garden so the new cladding will have to be removed and they will have to take internal space to add insulation to that wall.

Then get a soiicitor on the case.

OP,
You are married and part own this house? Or not?

Your husband sounds like such a wuss.
So unattractive.

Your neighbour thinks you are both wuss's too.

That wall looks awful.

NO ONE sticks scaffolding up on another person's property without serious consultation.

It certainly wouldn't happen in a normal person's house without a contract re safety, terms, length of time, compensation for damage etc.

Your unpleasant neighbour knows she can bully you both.

Your husband is a liar and gaslights you but a complete wuss with the neighbour.
Yuk!

You have no idea how long the scaffolding will be up because she never bothered consulting.

Honestly, unbelievable.

I would not be accepting the shitty wall and scaffolding.

If you don't have any legal right to the property let it go, but if you do, I would not be accepting it.

Have a look at the gaslighting wuss you're married to.
No prize!

[quote HarryorHas]@WeatherwaxLives Yes that’s it.
So our back/kitchen door is on the left, and that big wall, part is her house but also the wall that divides us. So now that part juts out. We have the table and chairs there and then another wall, so the walk part there, that walks down to the garden/grass etc is less. Hope that makes sense! We live in another country so it’s also a different set up to the U.K.
Dh is looking at me like I’m some whinging old woman, but he basically lacks balls in any situation like this and cba..shouldn’t she have even asked/ran it past us properly 🤷🏻‍♀️Xxxxx[/quote]
Are you sure he's lacking balls, maybe he agreed to it, but now you raised it he doesn't want to admit saying he told them it was fine. For me personally I wouldn't stress, it's a small bit of your land, your table and chairs will still fit there

My non-double walls are insulated on the inside, so what your DH said makes no sense to me (if you've understood him correctly).

As others are saying, check with local Planning in the morning. You also should have documents from your purchase showing your boundaries - I would not accept any encroachment.

If the scaffolding is not removed as promised, request in writing that it is removed within 7 days or you'll be selling it on ebay. I did this once after weeks of delay, and the scaffolders were round within the hour

I don’t understand the photos and can’t see anything overhanging or jutting out.

It is a normal and neighbourly thing to do to accommodate scaffolders when work is being done next door as they can rarely confine the scaffolding to the property in question. So yes you are being unreasonable, it has been there for three days including the weekend, it would have been a scaffolding company that set it up and they would be scheduled in before the main workers.

Again I have no idea what overhang you are talking about as your photos show no such thing, but it does sound like you are whining over nothing.

That doesn't look like scaffolding to me.

YANBU.
Scaffolding is a right pain, and if it’s going to be on your land they should have warned you a while ago and given you a time limit.
As for them stealing a bit of your land - no way would I tolerate that. I’d get my own builder in to remove that overlapping bit. After all, it’s your land, you can do what you like with it.
But I don’t understand why you can’t sort this yourself OP, rather than moaning about your ineffectual husband.

I think I'd be checking they're actually going to be making good and painting etc because they're going to need the scaffolding for that too.

Dds neighbours did similar in the front garden of her first ever home. I was furious on her behalf but she didn't want rock the boat with her new neighbours and said they wouldn't use front garden to sit out in or anything really so was going to let it go.
The previous occupant of her house had been a very old disabled man so hadn't bothered that the dividing fence they had put up years ago was about a foot over in their favour. Soon as my dd and dp moved in they 'helpfully' said they would replace the old tatty fence with new. They put new fence in same place whilst dd and dp were out. The front gardens are about 18ft long so a foot strip all the way down to boundary has been pinched effectively. Fortunately my DH was replacing their flush lounge window with a lerge bay so had to take part of the fence down to have room to work on that side of it. When finished he 'helpfully put the whole fence back where it should've been in first place effectively claiming back the foot strip.. They came home and kicked off saying' that was crafty'. DH just said 'Pot and kettle' and laughed at them. Never been mentioned since apparently.

Sorry but your dh is not correct. I am aware of how things work in Portugal. They could have had the walls insulated internally, however externally is much more efficient. The neighbour should have informed you and asked if you would allow the work since the insulation would take some cms from your side. It is also common practice to inform neighbours about building noise by putting a note in their post boxes with info about dates, etc. It seems like your neighbour is not very considerate or she has made an agreement with your dh and he failed to inform you.
I would try to find out what he actually discussed with her.

Your husband sounds useless. He just said yes without running it past you first, seems like he cares more about her opinion rather than yours.

In Portugal it is very difficult to get the Câmara Municipal to enforce the law, unless you have connections. So my guess is that at this stage you will have to live with it. Bad luck, OP. Be more proactive next time.

It’s not jutting out very much though is it? I was expecting something huge!! I was wondering if you’d uploaded the wrong picture...have you?!! I know it’s annoying (especially the scaffolding) but just ignore it. I like a PP suggestion of getting an end date for the work. Maybe put a trailer of flowers up the wall so it’s less noticeable?

All I want is for Dh to talk to her and let her know it sticks out, but he’s too mardy

aside of the fact that your subsequent posts say that he has agreed it with the neighbour, why the heck can't you do it? You're the one having the attack of vapours about something that isn't yet finished.

Stop faffing. Check what the regulations are, if you need to check with local authority about planning permission, do that. Get all the info you need then ask the neighbour which steps they have done, and to show you a picture of what it will look like when finished.

If necessary get the boundaries redrawn and make the neighbour pay for the, what, 20 square inches?, of your property then you're all square.

And then if that "jutting out bit" (which i expected to be at least a foot from the description in the OP) is still there and your DP has already agreed that it's ok, put some tubs of climbing plants there to cover it.

But stop being so passive.