Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think all contraceptive options are rubbish?

68 replies

ThatchersCold · 09/03/2021 01:17

I really need to sort out some contraception and fast, but I can’t choose what to go for, all the options seem crap.

I’m 40 and I’ve always had very light, regular periods. My most recent contraception was a copper coil, which I liked the convenience of, however my periods went from 3 days and light to 8-10 days, very heavy and incredibly painful, it felt like contractions every month. So not keen on that.

I had a mirena coil before that and that was terrible. It made me feel so depressed and loads of my hair fell out and never grew back (quite common apparently). So again not wild on the idea of them.

I haven’t been on the pill since my twenties, I was on quite a few different types in my teens/twenties, and I didn’t really like any of them. Hormonal contraception doesn’t generally agree with me, it really affects my mood and skin, and I gain weight. I’ve never tried the injection or implant for these reasons, at least if the pill doesn’t agree with me I can stop taking it!

I had a diaphragm many moons ago but they are so fiddly and not the most reliable I gather.

So that kind of leaves condoms, which I hate, and I’d like to find a longer term option.

Am I missing something? I’m hoping maybe I am, and that maybe hormonal contraception has moved on since I last took it and there’s something amazing out there that I don’t know about Grin.

I’m also aware that not everything may be suitable for somebody of my age, so need to factor that in. I’m not overweight and don’t smoke, but I do vape. Otherwise pretty healthy. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Letsallscreamatthesistene · 09/03/2021 01:28

Abstinence

Iamagenius · 09/03/2021 01:30

I got my husband to have a vasectomy!

ShrikeAttack · 09/03/2021 01:38

Hormonal contraception was horrible for me once the pill was no longer an option. The mini-pill was disastrous. You're not missing anything.

It's abstinence, vasectomy, abortion or barrier.

DramaAlpaca · 09/03/2021 01:41

Suggesting abstinence isn't exactly helpful, and OP doesn't mention a DH who she can persuade to have a vasectomy.

I was going to suggest a Mirena, I found it great in my 40s and it saw me through the menopause. I wouldn't fancy the side effects you had though.

The diaphragm isn't easy to get these days as few people know how to fit them. I always preferred it to condoms back in the day and it's a pity it's gone out of fashion. I suppose condoms are better from a protection from STIs point of view.

It must be very difficult if you react to hormonal contraception. The only thing you didn't mention is the mini-pill (if that's still around, I'm old enough not to need contraception any more so not sure!) If I remember correctly it doesn't mess with your hormones quite so much, but you have to be very careful to use it correctly.

It might be worth contacting a sexual health clinic as they are very knowledgeable on this stuff, more than your average GP I'd say.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 09/03/2021 01:50

Suggesting a mirena coil, which is something OP has already tried and ruled out, is just as unhelpful.

Extra points for suggesting contacting a sexual health clinic though.

SelkieQualia · 09/03/2021 01:50

The mini pill has been fantastic for me.

IHaveBrilloHair · 09/03/2021 01:56

I got sterilised at 30 after getting pg on the pill, then again with a mirena coil.

DramaAlpaca · 09/03/2021 01:58

Letsallscreamatthesistene (great username) if you read my post properly you'll see I didn't actually suggest a Mirena coil. I said I was going to suggest it but wouldn't because of the side effects OP had previously experienced.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/03/2021 01:58

Tubal Ligation or vasectomy. I got my tubes tied and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Pyewackect · 09/03/2021 01:59

@IHaveBrilloHair

I got sterilised at 30 after getting pg on the pill, then again with a mirena coil.
Me too. I got sterilised at 28 after 3 unplanned pregnancies.
ComtesseDeSpair · 09/03/2021 02:01

If you aren’t planning on any more children then I think the snip - you, OH, or both of you - is pretty optimal. DP and I went for it, double knot to be safe, and I’m definitely glad I did.

There are apparently a couple of newer progestin-only pills which some women report giving fewer side effects, but you’d possibly have a bit of a fight with your GP to prescribe them as they’re more expensive than the older ones they like you to try first.

Savethewhales · 09/03/2021 02:08

Vacectomies sometimes shown they don't work, so only thing is if both of you get sterilized or just not have sex at all

ShrikeAttack · 09/03/2021 02:10

I think you'd be fighting a GP for a tubal ligation sub 30.

starrynight21 · 09/03/2021 02:24

At 40 you should be able to get a tubal ligation - and then you'll be sorted.

happymummy12345 · 09/03/2021 02:32

May not be any help because I've only ever been on the pill and had no problems at all. But if you feel you don't want to try that again then I'd go with something previously suggested.

But as I say my experience has been that I'm extremely lucky in that I've never had any problems with the pill. I was on Regevidon from when I was 16 until I came off it when I was 21 when my husband and I wanted to ttc. I never had any problems at all.

I had my baby then at the 6 week check I went back on it as I was exclusively formula feeding. I specifically asked for that one because that's what I was on so it seemed to make sense.

I had problems taking it. It made me feel sick and I couldn't take it. So I switched to Microgynon 30, and it was the best thing I've ever done. It was better for me in every way.

As I say I've never had any problems with weight gain or my hormones or anything else. On my first pill my withdrawal bleeds were fine. On my second they were slightly shorter and lighter, it just works better for me. (I know I've been told in the past they are exactly the same. But I can't explain it. It was the doctor who suggested I change so I assumed there must be some differences). Now I take my pills back to back, without my week break. I do this for 6 months. So I take 6 strips in a row without a break. Then I have a break for 1 week, when I have my withdrawal bleed. Then I start again for 6 months. So I only have 2 bleeds a year.
It's brilliant and doesn't impact on me at all

I couldn't imagine having proper periods. I'd hate it. When I was off the pill ttc I hated it so much. Again I never suffered with my proper periods before I was on the pill, I had no cramps or anything. It's just the pill makes it much easier still

trindi · 09/03/2021 02:52

Following. Are we the same person?? I've had the exact same experiences as you.

Pill = weight gain and acne

Mirena = the craziest mood swings I have ever encountered. I felt like I was possessed by a demon. Was on YouTube at 2am like a mad woman begging my DH to get the damn thing out because the doctor didn't believe me. Also constant infections.

Copper Coil = 10 days of the heaviest period followed by 10-14 days off. It's hell.

Can you get sterilisation at 28? I honestly don't know what to do Sad

justanotherremainer · 09/03/2021 03:12

I feel the same as op and pp in that I have never found a method that worked for me. When I was married, or in ltr I have used natural methods. Risky but it worked out for me.

Now I’m getting divorced and on lockdown so no need!

When I get back out there I may just go for tubal ligation.

I’m 43.

sweetnessnfight · 09/03/2021 03:14

The merina coil is good, no periods, don't notice it.

sweetnessnfight · 09/03/2021 03:15

Sorry just read how the merina coil affected you.

ShrikeAttack · 09/03/2021 03:15

0k.

I'm a million years older.

I've had five abortions.

Contraception isn't regular or sound.

ShrikeAttack · 09/03/2021 03:18

I'm 48 BTW.

howsicklyarsekissy · 09/03/2021 03:22

I have the same issues with hormonal contraception and so do alot of my friends. I really think there should be something better by now in this day and age. I am sure if men had to deal with the horrible side effects a lot of us suffer there would be money poured into finding something better.

ShrikeAttack · 09/03/2021 03:26

Completely agree @howsicklyarsekissy

Sapho47 · 09/03/2021 03:41

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Suggesting a mirena coil, which is something OP has already tried and ruled out, is just as unhelpful.

Extra points for suggesting contacting a sexual health clinic though.

I was going to suggest a Mirena, I found it great in my 40s and it saw me through the menopause. I wouldn't fancy the side effects you had though.

She didn't suggest it though.

YukoandHiro · 09/03/2021 03:42

Eurgh I'm going to be in this position soon. Can't do hormonal as it flares up my bladder pain condition. Was thinking about copper coil but already have heavy periods post DC so not sure if that really is worth trying. Husband refusing vasectomy. We're probably going to have to stick with condoms for another 10-15 years :(

Maybe I'll look into tubal ligation (I'm almost 40)