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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think all contraceptive options are rubbish?

68 replies

ThatchersCold · 09/03/2021 01:17

I really need to sort out some contraception and fast, but I can’t choose what to go for, all the options seem crap.

I’m 40 and I’ve always had very light, regular periods. My most recent contraception was a copper coil, which I liked the convenience of, however my periods went from 3 days and light to 8-10 days, very heavy and incredibly painful, it felt like contractions every month. So not keen on that.

I had a mirena coil before that and that was terrible. It made me feel so depressed and loads of my hair fell out and never grew back (quite common apparently). So again not wild on the idea of them.

I haven’t been on the pill since my twenties, I was on quite a few different types in my teens/twenties, and I didn’t really like any of them. Hormonal contraception doesn’t generally agree with me, it really affects my mood and skin, and I gain weight. I’ve never tried the injection or implant for these reasons, at least if the pill doesn’t agree with me I can stop taking it!

I had a diaphragm many moons ago but they are so fiddly and not the most reliable I gather.

So that kind of leaves condoms, which I hate, and I’d like to find a longer term option.

Am I missing something? I’m hoping maybe I am, and that maybe hormonal contraception has moved on since I last took it and there’s something amazing out there that I don’t know about .

I’m also aware that not everything may be suitable for somebody of my age, so need to factor that in. I’m not overweight and don’t smoke, but I do vape. Otherwise pretty healthy. Any suggestions?

OP posts:

CreamRose · 09/03/2021 09:16

YANBU. I have been prescribed the mini pill by my GP but I’m really reluctant to take it as we want to try for another baby in the next year. The idea of a coil makes me feel sick!

AnotherEmma · 09/03/2021 09:22

"Am I missing something? I’m hoping maybe I am, and that maybe hormonal contraception has moved on since I last took it and there’s something amazing out there that I don’t know about"

You could try the Kyleena, it's a hormonal coil but it's relatively new and has a much lower dose of hormones than the Mirena. It might be worth a try to see if you get on better with it. I had one fitted a couple of months ago and no noticeable side effects so far.

AllTheCakes · 09/03/2021 09:25

Agree with cycle tracking too. If you are regular and sensible then it can work. You could track your cycles and avoid sex when you are fertile.

GameSetMatch · 09/03/2021 09:49

I used the contraceptive patch for a while, it was really convenient just changed it every week but it started to make me feel nauseous after a few weeks, though i think it’s fairly unusual.

Original poster

ThatchersCold · 09/03/2021 09:49

Thanks, I’ll have a read about the Nuvaring and Kyleena, I haven’t heard from them.

I agree that hormones aren’t great, and used cycle tracking for a long time but after 3 accidental pregnancies I concede that it doesn’t work very well for me. Also I’m in a LDR now and because he works away we don’t get too much choice about when we get to see each other, I won’t see him for two months, then we’ll have a week together and have a lot of sex, and you can guarantee that week will be an inconvenient time cycle wise. I think if you get to see each other regularly then cycle tracking can be better, as you can lay off shagging for a few days and it’s not the end of the world.

OP posts:

Original poster

ThatchersCold · 09/03/2021 10:00

Just read about the Nuvaring and Kyleena and both have common side effects of hair loss, which I’m very paranoid about now after my mirena experience. I used to have lovely thick hair, and now it’s so thin and wispy, I can’t afford to lose any more

OP posts:

AnotherEmma · 09/03/2021 10:04

That's interesting. I have been losing hair but I assumed it was because I had DC2 six months ago (I remember shedding hair after DC1) but maybe it's the coil

redheadwitch · 09/03/2021 10:06

If men were the ones who had to take contraceptives, there would be far better options out there.

I am currently not on contraceptives after a horrendous experience with the coil. Any time I visit the GP (usually for a for a non-gyno related issue), I end up being quizzed about why I'm not on a contraceptive. Because I dont want to be! Why is this only my responsibility? Two people make babies and short of snipping my DPs bits my self, why is it on my shoulders solely to resolve this? I guarantee men dont get quizzed about what contraception they are NOT using when they visit the GP for IBS.

Original poster

ThatchersCold · 09/03/2021 10:14

Yes it is crap that women have to carry the can here. Stuck between a rock and hard place.

OP posts:

Carboholic · 09/03/2021 10:29

YES.

memememe · 09/03/2021 10:35

just a word of warning, i was sterilised and it caused my periods to be so very heavy after (10 days of bleeding so bad i couldnt leave the house) so heavy that im now on the pill to stop them, ironic right. its very common apparently,

Original poster

ThatchersCold · 09/03/2021 10:51

@memememe yikes, well I guess that kind of defeats the point of it if you’ve ended up on the pill anyway. Sorry you have to go through that.

OP posts:

suspiria777 · 09/03/2021 10:55

through the thighs, "oxford style"?

or just cunnilingus. nobody ever got pregnant from cunnilingus.

Original poster

ThatchersCold · 09/03/2021 11:18

@suspiria777 excellent thinking out of the box (see what I did there) but they also sound like shite options

OP posts:

WaitingForNormality · 09/03/2021 11:33

I actually totally agree OP!

I was on the pill, then the mini pill for late teens/early 20s. Came off it at 25 and it took forever for my cycle to return to anything nearing normality (18months+). I then had DC and refused to go back on it. I gave the coil a try after GP recommeded this but found it disagreed with me entirely so had it removed. Once again, cycle was entirely screwed up for another few years.

I'm pregnant now and whilst DH is not thrilled at the idea he's agreed to have a vasectomy once the baby is born. He is 100% done with having kids after this one, and so am I. Plus, he's seen me go through one hideous birth and recovery and will have to endure a c-section and another recovery when I have this baby so I feel it's his turn to take responsibility of contraception...even if it does hurt a bit!

Cloudyrainsham · 09/03/2021 11:41

Agree. I’ve been terrified of getting pregnant since an unplanned pregnancy at 40. We’ve used confirms ever since. I’m post menopausal now, it’s been 3 years since my last period and we still don’t have sex without a condom.

BabyYoda · 09/03/2021 11:43

No advice, I’m in the same situation. I get migraines so my options are limited and I’ve never really got on with any of the ones I have tried, since taking a break from contraception to have kids I really can’t face getting back on the rollercoaster of trying a new one and having horrific side effects! I was going to get the copper coil until I heard loads of stories of people getting pregnant on it! My husband was finally on board with getting a vasectomy then COVID happened and now I just avoid him (easily done with 3 toddlers).

Original poster

ThatchersCold · 09/03/2021 12:16

@BabyYoda I had the copper coil fitted as emergency contraception and thought as it was there I’d stick with it. I had it for a year, and the pain every month was immense, and the bleeding was crazy. 8-10 days of bleeding in a 25 day cycle isn’t ideal. Also it gave me really bad BV - very common so I’ve heard.

OP posts:

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