Those with teenagers, can i ask this?

[motherhoodismad]

Ok, your teenagers are sleeping all day , you are a single mum, do you sit downstairs feeling lonely and nothing to do, or do you start making time and enjoying time for you? Do you watch the tv and films you want to, maybe take yourself for a nice walk, or a mooch around a shop? Or do you pine and cry as you feel they dont need you anymore?

Why do you wake her up? Teens have different body clicks and sleep requirements to adults. Their biology makes them owls.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Why do you wake her up? Teens have different body clicks and sleep requirements to adults. Their biology makes them owls.

Because I refuse to allow her to sleep until 4pm in the afternoon.

I have a 2yo and a 5yo. I would saw my own arm off for even 24 hours of:
Not having to wake up with them at the crack of dawn.
For them to be able to just get themselves dressed without assistance or cajoling.
Not having to make all of their meals.
Not having to play/bake/do crafts/take them to the park/generally keep them occupied so that they don't start climbing the walls.
Not having to have eyes in the back of my head and be constantly aware of what the 2yo is doing so that he doesn't seriously injure himself or wreck the house.

I would love to watch or read whatever I want in the middle of the day without interruption.

I'm going to guess that it's easy to forget how hard work it is to have young DC's once they are teenagers (I am now very much looking forward to it ) . Honestly OP make the most of it and enjoy your freedom!

Why are people surprised that teenagers sleep all day?

Oops meant to add it's totally normal!
But I drag my teenage girl out of bed at midday if I feel she needs some fresh air.

I would sleep through winter if I could to be honest

I don't miss the early days ONE BIT, I love watching her grow up. But I miss watching films with her. It's all gaming and Netflix parties with friends in lockdown.

I'm doing a law degree at the OU.. even though I work full time. I fucking love teenagers. Mine are blissfully independent and semi mono syllabic... but they also cook, clean and do chores. So what's not to love. (They also drive - which is the BESTED thing ever !! and worth losing my mind teaching them)

Mine don't stay in bed half the day. It's a silly stereotype. I liked to stay up late as a teen but I still got out of bed in the morning because I had stuff to do. My teens have commitments that require them to be up and about by 8am, although they are frequently up earlier. They have never lived with a parent who stays in bed late so they don't think to do it either.

Mine wakes up 9am on a weekend but gets out of bed 11am. So I can't complain.

I would love this. My teen is autistic and more needy than ever, so this is a dream.

Mine has Adhd so barely sleeps at night never mind the day.

I don’t stay in bed 1/2 the day. I’m always wide awake before 7:30.

Both of mine would sleep all day. Teens brains are wired to be owls. Some schools start late to accommodate this.

www.familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers/health-wellbeing/teenagers-and-sleep/

I remember regularly sleeping til lunchtime as a teenager and still managed to grow up into a functional adult who gets to work on time.

I'm a single mum and I know exactly where you're coming from.

I definitely do my own thing and often out the house. They know what to do in an emergency.

I have very definite family time rules.
Preparing dinner - I insist on them being nearby to do jobs and help. And clear up.
Eating all meals at the table with zero tech.
Film night once a week usually.
A long walk once a week.

Their house jobs will increase in exchange for internet and money.

Then I leave them alone. And I read MN

I have 3 teenage DC. They don't sleep all day, but they do do their own thing most of the time. I actually liked the fact that as they grew up they needed me less, I used the time to go back to university to do a masters degree and then got a better job.

My two (14 & 16) sleep until 11ish and I'm more than happy to crack on and do my own thing! I leave them to it but will start making more noise after 12pm as that's my cut off for teenage lie-ins!

FWIW I was always up by 9ish when I was younger but then I wasn't online until the small hours but then times are strange at the moment!

@motherhoodismad

Ok, your teenagers are sleeping all day , you are a single mum, do you sit downstairs feeling lonely and nothing to do, or do you start making time and enjoying time for you? Do you watch the tv and films you want to, maybe take yourself for a nice walk, or a mooch around a shop? Or do you pine and cry as you feel they dont need you anymore?

I'd find out why they are sleeping all day, that's very weird and unhealthy.

What sort of oddball would feel 'lonely' or 'cry'? Develop a life of your own.

Gosh some people are awful in their comments.

Single mum of one here op and I know just what you mean. He's 14 next week.

One good thing is you can watch older shows together and have things you don't watch separately and both genuinely like and centre cooking and hanging out around watching a couple of episodes.

I realised at one stage in lockdown that tiptoeing around in the day because ds was sleeping was getting me down and so I stopped. All curtains open and all normal noise in the daytime and tough and if I want to go out and do stuff I do it knowing he's fully able to call me if he wakes up and wonders where I am.

I'm ignored and then pounced on for full attention at the worst possible moment by ds. He'll ignore me and then be annoyed that at the time where he suddenly wants to be with me I'm busy working or doing my own thing.

I love him, he loves me but we have separate lives as well as our joined up bits

What sort of oddball would feel 'lonely' or 'cry

What sort of person would call someone an oddball for having emotions

What sort of oddball would feel 'lonely' or 'cry'? Develop a life of your own.

What sort of idiot doesn't understand why a single person might be lonely in the middle of a national lockdown when they can’t meet anyone and now even their own children are social distancing from them? How clueless to you have to be to not see how that could be uspetting?

What the hell?! Mums who lament over their kids no longer needing them are a total mystery to me
Mine are now 19, 14 & 11. Give me teens over toddlers any day of the week! I absolutely love having more time to myself. It's great to have my life back to a greater extent.

What sort of oddball would feel 'lonely' or 'cry'? Develop a life of your own.
What sort of person comes out with this hurtful comment.

I normally just please myself if they don’t want to join me. If I want their company the offer of Starbucks or mcdonnalds normally makes them willing to join me 😉

I saw this today and decided to be nicer while they're little.

I like to keep myself busy. I can't believe how busy I am right now, in covid time when we are all supposed to be 'bored with nothing' to do -- I've got heaps of stuff to do.

Teens... you have to grab moments to spend time with them according to what fits with their activities, too. Like tonight little DS was suddenly helping me with the 3D printer. 2 hours or so earlier I realised big DS needed his train pass activated so I said "Let's walk to train station to make sure that's sorted" and that was 40 minutes done. So much to do rest of the time...

ps: big teen was out of bed at 6am today to do paper-round

My 13 year old does this and my 10 year old still hangs with me
I reckon I’d clean more , garden more and exercise more ? Or get a dog 🐶