Those with teenagers, can i ask this?

[motherhoodismad]

Ok, your teenagers are sleeping all day , you are a single mum, do you sit downstairs feeling lonely and nothing to do, or do you start making time and enjoying time for you? Do you watch the tv and films you want to, maybe take yourself for a nice walk, or a mooch around a shop? Or do you pine and cry as you feel they dont need you anymore?

I was feeling mopey last night. Since my DC were very small we’ve always had family movie night on Saturdays. It’s always just been me and the DC so we were a little trio. Oldest stopped joining in about a year ago, youngest has now decided it’s not for him anymore so Saturday nights are a bit sad for me right now. I can watch a movie on my own, but I can do that any time really. Once Lockdown is over I can’t get out more and see friends but right now I’m mourning the loss our family nights. They don’t spend any time at all with me now.

yes this is me a bit, i am seeing some enjoyment peeking through, its another stage to adjust to maybe?

I do whatever I want, or I did until I had another baby :o

Why would this make you sad? Maybe DS1 was a particularly draining child? I am relieved since he has stopped needing attention at all times of the day. He still comes to hang out with me in the evenings when his screen time has run out.

Op you need board games!! Currently playing Frustration with dc 31,17and 12!!

Empty nest syndrome.
I'm sure you'll work it out, they'll always need their DM.
Make plans for when lockdown ends, start a morning walk to kick-start a routine.

I have 3 - oldest 2 are 16 and almost 19 - they both work so I am their taxi - that is usually the time we talk! I have a fairly active solo life and full on job though so I don't mind the down time - plus youngest is in between ages so independent but needy!

I'm the same and know how you feel! I'm trying to just embrace it, they know where I am if they need me but I did sit and mope for a couple of months but I enjoy it now. My DD is almost 13 and DS16 so just enjoy it as me time

Does anyone else still feel like they ‘should’ be engaging more with them? Mine are all happy in their rooms, doing their stuff, talking to friends. I can’t get pass the feeling I should be entertaining them ... but they don’t want me to do that and are happy 🤷🏻‍♀️

Single mum here. I miss him and quite often go to his room and probably annoy him. But I also enjoy doing my hobby and having space to be me again. Evenings I get really lonely though :( I wouldn't let him sleep all day as worried for his health.

Same @catonmylapcantmove. I keep thinking I should be doing something with them. But if I did no one would be happy- them because they really just want to chat to their friends and me because they’d be miserable so what’s the point? 🤷‍♀️

Mine sleep in if not needing to go out, usually till 2 but today was all day, just came down!

I love it when mine has a lie in tbh. She talks to me constantly once she is up. I do whatever I feel like books, browsing or cleaning tbh. After an hour or so of her being up I go in the bath for a break.

I am just pleased my ds, who is 16 in a week, is growing up and doing the normal things. I think for us we just still need to be emotionally available when they want us to be and to enjoy our me time to its fullest. Hard earned!

I'm not sure watching tv on your own in your bedroom helps, watch in the sitting room where they are more likely to join in

I could watch tv anywhere, my dd would make sure she was on her own. Lots of teens stay away from parents, they come back eventually.

Nah, It would be worse if they were hanging around waiting for you to entertain them. If they are independently amusing themselves then that is a job well done. You are to be congratulated.

I know what people mean - I do sometimes feel I should do more with them - but they don;t want to ! Every now and then we go for a walk but it usually ends in a row - between them! They can talk the legs off me when they are in the mood - usually while forcing me ti watch Tick-toks

OP please enjoy your ‘me’ ime. Treat them like cats .....don’t pussy foot around them, ignore, etc. They will come running back

They sleep all day? Really? Are they ill?

I'd be concerned if mine slept all day. Anyway, mine spends the majority of time in her room but to be honest, while she's there I relish in the peace and quiet. Watch what I want and read when I want etc. When she does eventually appear she talks non stop , so the peace is lovely.

It'll get easier when lockdown is over and we can meet with friends again for coffee or dog walks, relying on teenagers for a decent 2 way conversation can be a bit hit and miss and the best of times 😁

With mine, 14 and 11, we choose a series that we watch together and only together on Netflix and so carve out this definite time every evening that we’re together. Or we have movie nights on Sat. They’ve stopped wanting to go for walks with me so I now try and meet a friend and it’s nice not to have to entertain kids.

That sounds good, i try and watch some things with each of mine but its rare, they also like very different things. My teen has just come downstairs and I have persuaded to go for a short drive, park up and walk which seems to appeal.

My DD is 12 and hardly wants to know me, DS is still young.
For reassurance we didn't want much to do with mam as teenagers once we became a young adult we bonded again having many years of great memories as an adult with a parent.
Enjoy the stop gap.

I wake mine up and drag her out of bed. She loves me for that.

A combination of the two, during the day I don't mind but in the evening it's more lonely. We have agreed to have x nights a week to do stuff together but it's not inflexible.