I'm trapped... can anyone offer any advice?

[Multipotentialite]

Potentially outting hence name change.

DH & I used to earn about the same pre-children. After we had children, he became the main earner because I was working part-time hours. We moved to a new area 2 years ago because of his new job. I did not love it but I thought I could get used to the area.

Truth is I cannot get used to living here. It's making me more and more miserable. Lockdown did not help. Now that the children are back are school and I'm starting to earn properly again, I will be earning more than DH.

I want to move to London. DH is worried he will not get a job earning as much. I want him to start looking.

How can I approach this? This will be the end of our relationship if it needs to. I feel sick living here.

I do think you need to give your place more of a 'go'. Lockdown isn't really the best way to judge a place.
The moron in the coffee shop might be a 'one off'.
If after giving things a proper go in normal times, then try Bristol or Oxford.

When I read your first post I thought you were definitely being unreasonable. But then I read the later posts and I am so sorry and angry that you are experiencing racism and that sheds a totally different light on this.

I dont think there is an easy solution when it comes to uprooting your family. But I also think that it is completely understandable to decide that this is not a tolerable way to live and to decide as a couple to start to explore alternatives whether that is a move back to London or to somewhere like Bristol.

Is it only coffee shop woman you've had issue with?

If so, it seems a bit dramatic to leave...diverse though it maybe, you can also experience racism in London and you can't move City each time there's an isolated incident.