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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Day off school on birthday?

553 replies

Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 09:36

What are your thoughts on giving a child the day off school on their birthday? If they are asking for the day off..

OP posts:
Nebulacoffee · 06/03/2021 12:57

Tangent, but why not ask your son why he doesn’t like school? Ask him what would make it better?

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 06/03/2021 12:57

At secondary I wouldn't be aware of who was having a birthday. At primary I definitely would know and there's probably a chart on the wall of which month everyone's birthday is in - the class will sing happy birthday and (in olden times) could give out sweets to their friends.
I would only take it off for a special trip or visit from a far-flung relative.

ThanksItHasPockets · 06/03/2021 12:59

At secondary I wouldn't be aware of who was having a birthday.

It doesn’t matter. The kids always grass each other up Grin

Blackberrycream · 06/03/2021 13:03

@ThanksItHasPockets
Absolutely.
He’s gone to Pontins!
I saw her playing out yesterday!
They usually grass themselves up by accident too.

Coasterfan · 06/03/2021 13:06

No, we don’t do this. we go for a meal after school and then have a weekend away of their choice the weekend before or after if their birthdays fall on a week day. My two quite like the attention at school on their birthday and seeing their friends. I don’t really see the harm if you want to do it though, when mine were primary I always took them out a couple of days early for Christmas if term finished after 20th and we took them out once a year to go abroad as well so I don’t really see the difference.

luckylavender · 06/03/2021 13:07

No way.

Tianatiers · 06/03/2021 13:10

No way, I think it's actually quite nice they get a little fussed over at school on their birthday and then you can give them a birthday treat at the weekend.

I'm a bit of a hypocrite though, as an adult I always take the day off work (if I can) as I hate working on my birthday!!

MummyJ12 · 06/03/2021 13:10

I always send my two to school on their birthdays. I have one who loves school and one that hates it. My 8yr old daughter would prefer to go and be with her friends rather than be stuck at home with boring old me! Everyone makes a fuss and she enjoys being little miss centre of attention for the day.
My 13yr old son goes and still hates it (but at the moment he hates everything!) we make it nice for him before and after school and I pick him up rather than make him get the bus home.
I think it may have been different if they were homeschooling on their birthdays (September and October meant that schools were open) I may have let them not do anything if they’d have been at home with me, but as schools were open, they went.
I hope he has a lovely day, whether you send him to school or keep him home.

Newkitchen123 · 06/03/2021 13:10

OP... Shall I let him stay off?
Majority.. No
OP Well I am

OP teacher has day off every year
Majority. No she doesn't
OP yes she does

1forAll74 · 06/03/2021 13:10

NO WAY.

OverTheRainbow88 · 06/03/2021 13:10

I’m a teacher and if my son hated school I would let them have the day off for their birthday.

With regards to the teacher going on hol for her birthday every year, there’s no way that would happen, even for a wedding. Unless they work part time and can go on a long weekend and not miss school.

mum2jakie · 06/03/2021 13:14

Surely the OP had already decided to give their child the day off? Not sure why they bothered to ask!

MadameMinimes · 06/03/2021 13:14

Nobody has said teachers aren’t ever off. What they have said is they can’t take days off for their birthday or book leave for holidays and “weddings” every year. Teachers have no contractual right to book leave on days of their choosing. If a teacher is off it will be for a very limited number of reasons. Sick leave, compassionate leave (which is not generous), emergency leave due to an emergency at home or childcare. It’s not like other jobs where you can just book a week off to go abroad if someone in your family is getting married. My family are all well aware that if they booked an event or wedding on a school day then I wouldn’t be able to go.
We had a member of staff who was refused the week of leave that they requested for their child’s wedding abroad (long haul) and instead they were offered a couple of days either side of a weekend to travel, attend the wedding and make it back. They went anyway and ended up fired for gross misconduct. They tried appealing/challenging the decision and lost. The head would have been legally within their rights to say no to the request altogether and offer no days at all and the person still would have been able to be fired for gross misconduct if they’d gone.

spanieleyes · 06/03/2021 13:15

As a teacher, I did have my birthday off last year. Mind you, I had buried both my parents the previous day so I had permission to stay off both days. Otherwise, not a chance.

ThanksItHasPockets · 06/03/2021 13:17

[quote Blackberrycream]@ThanksItHasPockets
Absolutely.
He’s gone to Pontins!
I saw her playing out yesterday!
They usually grass themselves up by accident too.[/quote]
Yes!

"He's not ill, Miss! He was on Xbox Live last night!"

Then there was the memorable day when a skiving kid sent gloating pictures of Alton Towers to their mates, who had an exam. They took the photos to the headteacher. Teenagers don't care much about loyalty when they perceive an injustice!

Tianatiers · 06/03/2021 13:19

@mum2jakie

Surely the OP had already decided to give their child the day off? Not sure why they bothered to ask!
I don't think they were asking permission, just seeing if their views aligned with others perhaps.
RedcurrantPuff · 06/03/2021 13:21

[quote Blackberrycream]@ThanksItHasPockets
Absolutely.
He’s gone to Pontins!
I saw her playing out yesterday!
They usually grass themselves up by accident too.[/quote]
I can’t fathom why going to Pontins would be more enjoyable than being at school! Grin

MingoLingo · 06/03/2021 13:24

It's 1 day a year and if it falls on a school day 100% they have the day off.

mam0918 · 06/03/2021 13:25

My DS birthday is new year so never been an issue and my younger kids arent at school yet.

I would in general say no to random days off for no real reason but I do also balence whats best for the whole family so if theres an oppertunity that comes up that benefits the majority (so 3 or 4 out of 5) but would require taking one kid out of school for the day I will as we are a bigger entity than one single member.

AaronPurr · 06/03/2021 13:26

@MingoLingo

It's 1 day a year and if it falls on a school day 100% they have the day off.
Even if they want to go to school or have an important exam?
JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 06/03/2021 13:27

@MingoLingo

It's 1 day a year and if it falls on a school day 100% they have the day off.
Does my August-born get a day in lieu? Grin
mam0918 · 06/03/2021 13:29

Redcurrentpuff - we went to Pontins once and last 12 hours out of the week we booked.

Worst half day ever it was utterly filthy, nothing worked (even the door didnt shut/lock because it had been jimmied open before and there was blood stains on the wall/bed) and it was full of drunk aggressive chavs definately would rather go to school than ever go back there lol.

Morgoth · 06/03/2021 13:30

No way in a million years would a teacher be allowed a week off every single January to attend a cousins wedding. It’s such a lie it’s ludicrous.

Teachers are not allowed to take days off in term time at all unless it’s for exceptional or emergency situations and even then it would most likely be unpaid. You’d be allowed to attend a funeral or wedding of a parent, sibling or child very begrudgingly for a single day but most probably not a cousin and definitely not for an entire week!

Adults working in jobs who can book any time of year off and would like to have their birthday off, do. I’ve done so myself many times. Adults working in jobs were they don’t have this option (teachers, forces, etc) simply get on with it like a mature adult and go to work on their birthday and simply celebrate in the evening or at another convenient time on another day.

HaroldandGeorge · 06/03/2021 13:32

Just to clarify: Some schools allow teachers to have their birthday off, as a wellbeing thing. My dh has to arrange his own cover then he can have the day at home. He can also have days/afternoons off if he has a medical appointment that can’t be changed. But he is lucky that he works at a small school that have family, both the children’s and staff’s, at the heart of everything they do. Every member of staff of is given a morning at Xmas time to go and watch their own child’s nativity if at a different school and they also get a training day which is actually a Xmas shopping day. They make up the hours by doing twilight sessions. It is all part of making the staff happy and they feel respected.

Regarding the OP, no he should not get the day off for his birthday. You are on a slippery slope if you allow this. I would be more inclined to tackle the issue of why a 7 yr old doesn’t like school. It’s only going to get worse as he gets older.

OverTheRainbow88 · 06/03/2021 13:34

@HaroldandGeorge

Is that a state school?