Cognitive dissonance on MN

[Wondermule]

...is getting worse.

Here is an example I see all the time

Moving from central London to a rural village for the ‘slower pace of life’, then complaining that the village has ‘no culture or diversity’ and a ‘lack of things to do’. Although the villagers are smiley and polite, they ‘haven’t made any lifelong friends’ in the twenty minutes they have been there, and it’s got to the point where they believe the village Illuminati is plotting to ostracise them. They are skint as there is a lack of job variety within a ten minute walk of their house, so they can’t afford to do up the crumbling Victorian wreck they decided to buy. Posters then pile in with ‘omg poor u’ ‘they sound awful’ ‘really feel for you this is me at the moment.’

Well what did you expect? 😂😂

Is it me? 😬

@DoubleHelix79

Slightly off topic but I'm always amused by the retired couples appearing on escape to the country who want to downsize and are getting on in years, but then go for seven bedroom piles with lots of stairs to climb and huge gardens to maintain. Because you couldn't possibly put up your grown up children in a b&b the one time a year that everyone wants to visit at the same time.

Yes I’ve noticed this 😂 you can tell their kids will be starting a ‘my elderly parents are too stubborn to sell their massive house even though they’ve fallen down the stairs five times’ thread

Huge amount of cognitive dissonance about moving to the countryside.

An awful lot of wanting to have it both ways ("relaxed pace of life" and "diverse and vibrant, café society".) A lot of these posters have clearly never lived in the countryside.

I live in smallish market town surrounded by lots of country villages - dh from London and was shocked that people here were so friendly- someone came up to him in the pub to welcome him to the area which blew his mind cos he thought he was gonna mug him or something. At least once a month someone moans on fb about the church bells but they usually get annihilated for such comments. Not a very diverse area if l am honest and the local school has 2 children who are in the ethnic minority and as friendly as people are, if you haven't lived here all your life or your parents are from somewhere else then you are practically a foreigner. No place like home Eh?

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

There used to regularly be moaning-faced folk on the local news, complaining that they'd moved to the highlands and islands from the home counties, and were outraged that DC was ill and couldn't get to hospital in Inverness because the ferries don't run on a Sunday.

Personally, I have a lot more sympathy for the local-born people who had to move away, because they simply can not afford property in their home towns and villages because of transplants artificially inflating prices.

I remember a village newcomer poisoning a beautiful and ancient ash tree because it overshadowed their land. I can’t remember what came of it, but it didn’t go down well.

@thepeopleversuswork

Huge amount of cognitive dissonance about moving to the countryside.

An awful lot of wanting to have it both ways ("relaxed pace of life" and "diverse and vibrant, café society".) A lot of these posters have clearly never lived in the countryside.

Exactly. Why should everywhere have a vibrant cafe culture not everyone likes the same sort of life, which seems to blow some people’s minds.

Personally, I have a lot more sympathy for the local-born people who had to move away, because they simply can not afford property in their home towns and villages because of transplants artificially inflating prices.

Except it absolutely fine for Londoners because some of us are born & raised here. Our parents can't whip us out to the countryside to protect us, the horror!

My DH is like this about holidays. He wants to go somewhere where there is lots to do, sightseeing, nice bars restaurants etc.
However he wants it to be really quiet with very few other people around. He can’t seem to understand that the restaurants would close if no one wen

That's because he's a traveller & wants to avoid tourists (shudder) 😆

I'm in this exact situation, and I have to say, it's pretty fantastic. No cognitive dissonance, because it's exactly what I wanted when I moved here.

If you know it's not diverse it's not cognitive dissonance.

I have neighbours who post BLM stuff on next door & then whatsapp about a black male walking down the road with a hoodie on 🤔

Ah yes. I live in a historic area (17th century, cobblestones everywhere) and get pissed off with incomers complaining about car parking and tourists.

Guilty! I love a day in Rye or whatever but I will curse the cobbled streets & complain about low ceilings because i'm tall 😁

@teentipans

I'm in this exact situation, and I have to say, it's pretty fantastic. No cognitive dissonance, because it's exactly what I wanted when I moved here.

If you know it's not diverse it's not cognitive dissonance.

I have neighbours who post BLM stuff on next door & then whatsapp about a black male walking down the road with a hoodie on 🤔

WTAF?

I know

I had to leave the group, it's like a neighbourhood watch thing but it was very 🤯

@teentipans

I had to leave the group, it's like a neighbourhood watch thing but it was very 🤯

That’s another thing, neighbourhood watch. What do they think they’re ‘watching’ exactly? A hedgehog crossing the road? Ice cream vans playing their music too loud?

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

Irritates me as well.

See also people specifying they want recommendations of a 'nice' area of their specified town/city to move to.

I would have thought that goes without saying, unless you are specifically into gangs of feral kids, upturned cars, rampant crime etc. I live in hope of one day seeing a 'can someone recommend an absolutely horrific part of Edinburgh, with terrible schools, no amenities, massive drug consumption issues, and shit weather?"

I'd love to see a thread like that - unfortunately MN would remove it for "not being in the spirit" i.e. being actually funny.

I feel the same about those drive carefully signs on the way into towns and villages - just once I'd like to see one say "you're OK driving like a twat here"

@Wondermule (and pretty much every other poster on this thread), your statement 'Having two conflicting beliefs but not being able to see it', is not what cognitive dissonance means!

Cognitive dissonance is actually the discomfort felt by a person when they hold two conflicting beliefs. Am really surprised that no one else has mentioned this!

None of the examples here illustrate CD, because these people are clearly happy or at least blissfully unaware of any potential mental discomfort their beliefs might cause them.

I think this all the time reading threads here about how it's impossible to have any friends, everyone is so bitchy/cliquey, etc and wonder how much overlap there is between these posters and those starting threads frothing about their 'friend' putting a poem in their wedding invite, daring to have a baby shower, someone having the audacity to ring their door bell, thinking a coworker asking for a lift is the height of rudeness, and so on. Think the two issues may just possibly be linked...

[quote KittytheHare]@Wondermule (and pretty much every other poster on this thread), your statement 'Having two conflicting beliefs but not being able to see it', is not what cognitive dissonance means!

Cognitive dissonance is actually the discomfort felt by a person when they hold two conflicting beliefs. Am really surprised that no one else has mentioned this!

None of the examples here illustrate CD, because these people are clearly happy or at least blissfully unaware of any potential mental discomfort their beliefs might cause them.[/quote]
They’re not comfortable once it gets pointed out on MN, is more my point!

Dort of similar to what I'm tempted to ask every recruiter for. "please can I have an easy but senior role with regular hours, no travel and a great salary"... Funny how life is full of least bad choices really! Aka compromises.

I feel the same about those drive carefully signs on the way into towns and villages - just once I'd like to see one say "you're OK driving like a twat here"

Yup.

"CHECK YOUR SPEED!!!"

the sign bellows.

I have, and I'm doing 50. If I was feeling particularly ballsy I reckon I could probably take that blind bend outside the school at 55, 60 in the dry.

You know what is annoying? The over use of the phrase cognitive dissonance on Mumsnet. Nobody ever says it in real life. Do people say it thinking it makes them sound really clever?

That’s another thing, neighbourhood watch. What do they think they’re ‘watching’ exactly? A hedgehog crossing the road? Ice cream vans playing their music too loud?

Tbf we were having a huge spike in burglaries but it went a bit left.

Nobody ever says it in real life

Nice bit of cognitive dissonance there.

@ShesMadeATwatOfMePam

You know what is annoying? The over use of the phrase cognitive dissonance on Mumsnet. Nobody ever says it in real life. Do people say it thinking it makes them sound really clever?

Yes. I love a buzz word.

None of the examples here illustrate CD, because these people are clearly happy or at least blissfully unaware of any potential mental discomfort their beliefs might cause them.

I thought CD didn't always have to mean having an awareness of the conflict. Oops!

@teentipans

None of the examples here illustrate CD, because these people are clearly happy or at least blissfully unaware of any potential mental discomfort their beliefs might cause them.

I thought CD didn't always have to mean having an awareness of the conflict. Oops!

Dissonance in this context means mental discomfort.