Cognitive dissonance on MN

[Wondermule]

...is getting worse.

Here is an example I see all the time

Moving from central London to a rural village for the ‘slower pace of life’, then complaining that the village has ‘no culture or diversity’ and a ‘lack of things to do’. Although the villagers are smiley and polite, they ‘haven’t made any lifelong friends’ in the twenty minutes they have been there, and it’s got to the point where they believe the village Illuminati is plotting to ostracise them. They are skint as there is a lack of job variety within a ten minute walk of their house, so they can’t afford to do up the crumbling Victorian wreck they decided to buy. Posters then pile in with ‘omg poor u’ ‘they sound awful’ ‘really feel for you this is me at the moment.’

Well what did you expect? 😂😂

Is it me? 😬

Wondermule: Also the locals getting murdered in unusual circumstances with said murder, investigation and arrest always done within an hour and a half. Midsummer must have a murder rate proportionally higher than the Somme.

Not sure if this is the same but all my family are horrified that it's 40 mins round journey to the local shop in a car and 90mins-2hrs on foot. They "couldn't live like that".

Yet when I comment to my mum about being safe when she's out and about because someone was STABBED less than quarter of a mile away from her house I get told to "stop being posh" and I "live high"

I just don't get it!

@Tinkerbell456

Wondermule: Also the locals getting murdered in unusual circumstances with said murder, investigation and arrest always done within an hour and a half. Midsummer must have a murder rate proportionally higher than the Somme.

😂😂

Fifteen years on mn, and I have come to the conclusion that the vast majority of posters aren't, for a lack of a better term, very socially very bright

You may be right there. Ok, everyone's at home much of the time now. But before the pandemic, there were definitely more 'at home' posters - carers, these living with certain medical conditions etc. And those without friends generally.

So an important place to chat online (and one of the reasons that the place felt like a community before it started to grow a decade or so ago?) but with an over-representation if those without much of a RL adult social life. Who may or may not have been socially 'bright' in the first place, but certainly became deskilled because of what life threw at them

They like to gabble on about how much they love a diverse area with lots of varying cultures, but don't want to actually live in the same street as said 'diverse communities' and 'varying cultures...'

Projecting a bit but...maybe they want to find somewhere where their DC won't be only non-white DC in the class but still has good schools, and nice parks etc...just because people want/need diversity doesn't mean they don't think other things are important too when deciding where to settle down.

@Wondermule

posters saying schools should represent the community around them, be accommodating of SEN, promote equality etc. Then in the next breath talk about how shit their local comp is and how they’re moving house just to live in the catchment of somewhere oversubscribed

I think that’s unfair as you can get diverse inclusive comps which represent the community which are good or outstanding. That’s my aim as a parent, teacher and non white person. Doesn’t mean we should just settle for the comp that requires improvement

I am not white and have experienced racism so I know how awful it is first hand. I have lived in London and Birmingham in very diverse areas. I now live in a very white area and it’s fine. I do understand how some posters who are not white may fret about moving to an area where they stand out so ask about areas.

However I really hate the very obvious virtue signalling that goes on when talking about ethnically diverse areas where people, are trying to prove just how totally amazing they are. I have met a few people in my life who I think would like an ethnic mate about as it’s a tick on their leftie credentials list.

I think YABU.

It isn't (generally) cognitive dissonance of individual posters. it is the fact that MN has a wide variety of posters with a wide variety of views. So you get threads with totally conflicting views.

e.g. Why isn't your 11 yo doing everything in the home, they're nearly an adult versus your 18yo who just drunk drove should be forgiven as they're still a child really.

@TeenMinusTests

I think YABU.

It isn't (generally) cognitive dissonance of individual posters. it is the fact that MN has a wide variety of posters with a wide variety of views. So you get threads with totally conflicting views.

e.g. Why isn't your 11 yo doing everything in the home, they're nearly an adult versus your 18yo who just drunk drove should be forgiven as they're still a child really.

I more meant the dissonance of individual posters - like the example in my OP.

Women complaining of exhaustion while refusing to night wean their 2 year olds are another example.

Or posters who hook up with a married man then complain he has left them, they thought he was the one etc

[quote littlepattilou]@Wondermule

Quite. I see lots of posts asking after ‘diverse/cultured/vibrant’ areas of London to live in, but when suggestions are made, they are dismissed as ‘rough’. So what they mean is they want to live next to a diverse area so they can swan in once a week and feel cultured/vibrant, but not in the place itself.

This. ^ Typical of some PC, liberal-leftie MN posters. They like to gabble on about how much they love a diverse area with lots of varying cultures, but don't want to actually live in the same street as said 'diverse communities' and 'varying cultures...'

And YANBU (in your OP,) about people on here and their cognitive dissonance.[/quote]
Not just London. I'm an offcomer to Birmingham, and a lot of my local friends gab on about how they love the diversity of the city. From their nice, pure white suburb. Maybe these people meet od other races etc at work... Except their weddings would suggest not.

I tend to interpret it as "I enjoy diversity amongst the shopkeepers in the city centre".

I actually live in one of the relatively mixed areas of Birmingham, and that is nice.

I thought david Cameron lived in or around chipping norton

@thecatsthecats

And the endless talk of class on here as well 🙄 I shit you not another poster yesterday said Rishi Sunak’s wife had ‘married down’ to be with him. Sounded like something out of a bloody regency costume drama.

Chipping Norton as a left leaning village

My favourite was an MN poster who wanted a "left leaning" village in North Oxfordshire.

Subsidence? Or slipping off a cliff edge?

Quite. I see lots of posts asking after ‘diverse/cultured/vibrant’ areas of London to live in, but when suggestions are made, they are dismissed as ‘rough’. So what they mean is they want to live next to a diverse area so they can swan in once a week and feel cultured/vibrant, but not in the place itself.

This. ^ Typical of some PC, liberal-leftie MN posters. They like to gabble on about how much they love a diverse area with lots of varying cultures, but don't want to actually live in the same street as said 'diverse communities' and 'varying cultures...'

Yep they mean the diversity & vibrancy of being able to buy the authentic humous in the bijou deli or the greengrocers with "exotic" veg.

However imo the cognitive dissonance was really ramped up re covid/lockdown. So many I was driving to work today & the roads were packed or I went for a jog & was shocked how many joggers were out 😆

@teentipans

However imo the cognitive dissonance was really ramped up re covid/lockdown. So many I was driving to work today & the roads were packed or I went for a jog & was shocked how many joggers were out 😆

Ah yes perfect example!

‘I couldn’t BELIEVE the park was so packed today, don’t they all know we are supposed to be staying the fuck at home?!’

I would be like wtf 🤣

Everyone is cognitively dissonant about something, it’s part of the human condition. How the brain works.

And so many of the "we need to stay home more & for longer & no one should be out" but I still want to get my groceries & Amazon deliveries, have heating, an electrician on hand if I need etc.

Great thread OP Escape To The Country has a lot to answer for.

@derxa

Great thread OP Escape To The Country has a lot to answer for.

It really does. It’s the expectation that the locals will suddenly be hammering down their door to start a lifelong friendship that gets me (but phoning ahead, obviously. Nothing worse than having a visit ‘sprung’ on you 🙄)

Yeah, nobody needs to be out because we can get everything delivered.

My favourite is the people who in one breath tell you that no normal healthy average woman can lose weight on more than 1200 calories, and in the next breath that starvation mode is a myth.

I would give the example of the woman who said she'd given up simple carbs and that a good snack is a curly-wurly, but I suspect that's less cognitive dissonance and more ignorance of facts

Ah yes. I live in a historic area (17th century, cobblestones everywhere) and get pissed off with incomers complaining about car parking and tourists. Erm, you could clearly see that everyone parks at the sides of the roads, oddly builders in the 1600s didn’t think to build double garages into housing plans. You also probably visited our village when you were out sightseeing or you saw it on Outlander.

@thecatsthecats

Not just London. I'm an offcomer to Birmingham, and a lot of my local friends gab on about how they love the diversity of the city. From their nice, pure white suburb. Maybe these people meet of other races etc at work... Except their weddings would suggest not.

I tend to interpret it as "I enjoy diversity amongst the shopkeepers in the city centre".

That's the sort of thing I mean!

And Birmingham...... Ahhhh, a fine city!