to get him fired

[obviouslynamechang]

OK I don't know if it would result in firing...

Basically I am friends with a woman I worked with, we were really close friends at one point. She has made no effort and the friendship has become non-existent mainly because of her DH.

Her DH is quite outspoken on social media. He posts a lot of elitist and outrageous things including racist things - not explicitly "i hate black people" but more like "black people are not as clever because..."
he is factually abusive - he doesn't let her do things, go out, speak to people - she always refers to it as a form of love and thinks it's amazing, often trying to tell everyone how amazing her husband is and no one else matters. (We are late twenties btw).

He's just posted something that incites hate speech on social media and a lot of other colleagues (we all have gone on to new jobs) have messaged me, shocked. Especially the black members of our group which my friend is (was?) in.

Would it just be stupid to anonymously send it to his work? He works for a large city company which needs to uphold its standards. He has a well paid high position. His social media is set to the same as an influencer so he can track things so it's a public business account.

I'm so conflicted. On the one hand his racism is completely gross and awful and he should be stopped immediately from posting such utter shite.

On the other hand, you as an outsider cannot possibly say how strong his "grip" on your friend is and I am horrified by thoughts of how her life could be if he lost his job and had to deal with all the resultant financial burdens, hurt pride etc. I am sure it would all be taken out on her :(

Could you consistently report his posts and have friends do the same?

What an absolute pathetic cunt of a man. I'm sorry for you and your friend that he is in your lives in any capacity.

I honestly can’t believe people are calling you vindictive and bitter
Have you read any of OP posts? She describes a friend in an abusive relationship, and then says it is all her fault. OP is getting those replies because she is victim blaming.
She's sulking because OP was her friend but has been pushed aside for the husband. We know this is what happens when an abuser cuts off family and friends from the victim.

The racism is a separate issue - if it is true.

he doesn't let her do things, go out, speak to people - she always refers to it as a form of love and thinks it's amazing, often trying to tell everyone how amazing her husband is and no one else matters

My friend is a big girl, at the moment his grip on her isn't too tight, I am sure it's worse with lockdown. I am sure her life sucks and I've tried but she brings it on herself. She has hurt me so much because of her 'priorities to her hubby'

If he's inciting hate speech, then you need to contact the police, not his employer. His employer will find out soon enough if he is prosecuted.

Do not report him anonymously. That is such a cowardly thing to do. If you're not brave enough for him to find out what you are doing, perhaps you're not as sure of your position as you make out.

Making a stand against racism means speaking out confidently when things are wrong - not hiding behind keyboard anonymity.

I would. I did. A bitch at work who had her knife in my back the whole time (she played favourites and those-who-could-do-no-wrong, everyone else was scapegoat) posted on Facebook that she saw someone drop their wallet and she kept it. “Yay, £200 more spends for me” she posted.

I printed it out and posted it anonymously to each of the senior managers at work.

She lost her job. Ironically her role was linked to integrity.

What his work will do about it I think I depends on if you can link him to that firm? If he isn’t linked to the firm on social media then what do you expect them to do? What employment rules is he breaking ?

@Neron

I don't think she would become more abused - his abuse is currently coercive. Only her close friends know about it, he's controlling. He is not violent. She would say he isn't abusive at all You're not the one in the relationship though are you, so you really don't have a clue what it is like for her. By all means, report it if it is required, but at least admit the real reasons for it.

I would not care about reporting someone who I didn't know. I have done that before.

The only reason I am hesitating is because it's a connected person.

@AIMD

Yea send to his work and also report to the police if it inciting racial hatred (or whatever the specific offence is).

Maybe he’ll learn a lesson about what is and is not acceptable.

The abusive relationship is another issue. Could you make a Claire law application in respect of her so that if he has a history she is informed?

they've been together since kids, lost virginity to each other etc. he is just 'very anxious' and worries about her going out/seeing people/etc.