Cancer and not sending child back to school

[lpsandmore]

Curious what others would do really.

Mum has cancer and just started chemo. DC is 12 and due to go back to secondary school. They do really well at home and would be supported full time. Oncology has advised not to send as real threat etc. School has no choice as it is not DC that is CV. Would you keep them at home this side of Easter? It seems much safer imo to wait till after and I doubt they'll get much done at school with all the testing and settling back in.

Just wanted to see what others would do in this situation. Would you send in or keep till after Easter? Staying with another relative is not an option as all too far away.

Your happy with your DD staying home. Your daughter is happy. The oncologist wants it that way. The school are understanding.

If this isn’t the time in your life when you can do something without feeling guilty I don’t know when is.

Please treat yourself well.

I’ve had chemo with 2 primary age kids and they carried on going to school throughout. We all had flu jabs and then did hand washing and sanitizer. I think supervising homeschooling whilst having chemo would be very hard. Many days you’re too tired to do it. I’d get the lateral flow tests for DD and everyone in your household and just do them every few days. Give yourself a break when DD at school. I had my treatment in 2018 but I still think coping with treatment and homeschooling would be impossible.

Good luck for your treatment!

Plus it will give some normality to DD. I’d discuss this with oncologist as the reality of homeschooling and having chemo would be very hard.

Keep her at home. We have several other students in a similar position, including 1 with a parent waiting for a lung transplant. All staff are supporting the kids at home and if she is working well, keep her there for now. the next few weeks are a mssive unknown; we had had to close groups for the keyworker/vulnerable students and expect it will keep happening.

Absolutely keep her home. I'd say that to very few people but your child only has one mum. Let things settle, hopefully after Easter cases will be even more in retreat. I think you'll look back in 20 years and see this as a non-issue (as in, it's nothing to feel bad about keeping her back in the grand scheme of things). Even if she wasn't learning at home, she will catch up.

Keep yourself as safe as you can and good luck with your treatment. I hope you can get a vaccine soon. And honestly ignore any idiotic responses you get on here. Lots of people have no idea of the reality of your situation because imagining it isn't the same as living through it.

Just to update, I requested a second opinion on the school situation from another oncologist. He agreed with the first (that she should stay home) and has given me a letter to give to the school. I really appreciate all the people that commented, particularly ones in a similar situation to me. I'm not sure if my situation is a bit different as I had a full mastectomy just 2 weeks ago but either way, its been helpful to see all viewpoints.
Great news though- I had bloods today and have been cleared for the vaccine this week so school after Easter is going to be much safer for us.
Thank you all and all the best for the rest of the term.

@lpsandmore glad you got a second opinion, sounds like the right decision for your circumstances. I had my mastectomy three weeks before my son started reception, and a full node clearance the day before he started, but had been out of chemo for two months by that point and it was also in September when cases were lower. Plus in fairness I didn't actually ask anyone, but I remember thinking I'd rather have him in school for his first few weeks of reception so things could be as normal as possible for him and so I could 'enjoy' some quality time with my baby If I had a teenager I'd have been happier having them home for longer - it's a totally different experience.

I hope you're recovering okay from your surgery, and if you're not already on it I can recommend the Younger Women Breast Cancer Network on Facebook which is a great support x

I'm really glad you have the support of your oncologist. Every patient is different and what is the right thing for one cancer patient is not for another.

My DH has leukaemia and our children have gone back today - but his leukaemia is stable and his white cell count is ok. Last summer was different and when they were allowed back for a few weeks I took a different decision - Year 10 in school because he is sensible and I was worried about GCSEs (ha ha), Year 8 stayed at home and Year 5 did half days (came home before lunch and missed playtime).

Good luck with the rest of your treatment and fingers crossed that you can have your vaccine soon.

@sycamoreGap thank you. I am getting the vaccine this week; very excited!
@thymeofmylife thanks so much, I will have a look at that group.
Best of luck to both of you x

Best of luck OP....you do what is right and safe for your family

@lpsandmore here's the Facebook page, if you want to join you just send a message and give some details of your diagnosis etc:

www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork/

Good luck with everything!

(there's a secret group, just to be clear - it's all completely private so only members can see and post)