AIBU to be uncomfortable about a streamed funeral?

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

An old school friend of mine has died. I'm sad, of course, she was only early 50s, but it is not unexpected as she had multiple health issues from childhood.

In normal times I'd go to the funeral, but, obviously, that's not possible. The family are setting up something to stream the service - and I really don't want to log on. Being there is not the same as watching it, do I just sit and observe people's grief like it's the very worst of reality tv?

In person you can smile and say comforting things - I don't see that's possible and I really don't want to do it. Plus, I don't want to be upset on my own either!

However, the family are very tech savvy and are really pleased with themselves for figuring out a way to involve her wider network in the service. Will they notice if I don't log on?

AIBU to feel really uncomfortable about a streamed funeral?

I was very uncomfortable about my parents' funerals being videoed and made available to others. Apparently though my wish to grieve in privacy was trumped by the need of others, who couldn't attend, to watch. Some of them wouldn't have been able to attend even before Covid restrictions. Some of them I had never met.

We attended my FIL funeral virtually. DH got dressed up as if her were there and spoke to his siblings afterwards for a while so they could be together after their dad's funeral . It wasn't the same as being there but he said it was much better than not attending at all. He got some comfort from having been able to say he did go to his dad's funeral.

Some streamed ones are stored and can be watched later.
Somebody I knew died last year. If you in cluded her mum, sister, 3 children, 2 grandchildren there was no space left so it had to be streamed. I found it ok. Sad, as she was middle 40s. I imagine they will have a remembrance event when all this is over.

A close relative of mine died recently , we live streamed and it was immensely comforting to know that other people were watching and I had lovely messages afterwards about the service. I felt really supported, it's really not voyarism.

We decided not to stream my father's funeral in January, even though none of his siblings or mine could attend. It just felt intrusive to us. The whole thing was surreal. A handful of us in black facemasks, sitting apart. Really shit.

We've 'been to' two live streamed funerals in recent weeks of DH's very elderly cousin and also a friend. The camera was at the back of the room, so for us it was no different to being there and sitting at the back. The time of both services was such that we'd have had to take a day's leave if we'd wanted to go, so we appreciated it being streamed as it meant we were able to be there, albeit virtually.